The Healing Process
by Mikauzoran
Summary: After two failed romances, Kaito's given up on love, but, unfortunately, that doesn't stop him from falling hard for his best friend and source of comfort, Shinichi. When Shinichi suffers a breakup of his own, will Kaito put himself back together as he helps Shinichi heal, or will things only get worse for Kaito and his one-sided love?
1. The Healing Process

Mikau: Hey everybody! If you're new, welcome! If you're not, hello again! It's so good to see you! Thanks for checking out my new fic. I had a bad case of writer's block over the weekend when I was trying to work on CTM, Over the Edge, and Roses, so I did some writing exercises. And then I got inspired to write this. So here it is. I hope you enjoy it!

Disclaimer: If I owned it, I'd be vacationing on some tropical island with the proceeds right about now. This winter has been a little ridiculous, and I'd really like some warmth right about now.

…

The Healing Process

"How long have you been standing there?" Shinichi sighed, realizing that Kaito was tentatively poking his head around the corner, out of the study.

"A few seconds." The magician shrugged, hesitantly coming out into the entry hall. "I was…I was just…I wasn't eavesdropping or anything…not on purpose, anyway. Mouri-chan was a little loud, so I couldn't help hearing, but…you said I was welcome here…that I could use the study whenever I needed to, and…and I needed the study, so…sorry." Kaito bit his lip, fidgeting like an antsy grade schooler.

"Oh." Shinichi sighed again, not really paying Kaito much mind as he stared sorrowfully after his ex-girlfriend.

Awkward silence reigned, and Kaito squirmed anxiously.

"Does your face hurt? You've got a handprint on your cheek." It only occurred to him after the words had left his mouth that that was not a very tactful or appropriate thing to say at the moment. "I mean…are you okay, Shin-chan?" Kaito gulped.

The detective turned to face his friend and put on a brave face, forcing a very weak, sad smile that didn't reach all the way to the eyes. He shook his head.

Kaito chewed on his lip, trying to keep from saying anything stupid. The right words just weren't coming. "I…I don't have a Valentine either, so…I mean, only if you wanted to; I can go if you want, if you want to be alone, but…I'm free, if you wanted to just…you know…hang out maybe?"

Shinichi forced another warmed-over smile and nodded. "Yeah. It'd be a shame to let everything go to waste. Care for a romantic, candle-lit dinner? I hope you like expensive French food."

"Ha-Hakuba took me to a French restaurant once, and it was really good." Kaito shrugged, making chitchat as he followed Shinichi into the dining-room. "You know I don't really have very refined tastes. I'm an udon and onigiri type of guy, but expensive stuff is good every once in a while."

"Honestly, I'd rather have beef stew or curry or something myself, but Ran…I just wanted things to be perfect, you know?" The detective ran a hand through his hair as he motioned for Kaito to take Ran's place at the table.

"You weren't…weren't gonna propose or anything, were you?" Kaito let out a horrified squeak.

Shinichi shook his head, scooping some salad onto his plate. "I just thought Valentine's Day would be an appropriate occasion for our first time, but it didn't pan out."

"Oh," Kaito replied quietly, eyes wide. "Sorry."

The older brunette shrugged, pouring himself a glass of some very expensive wine. He downed it in one go before pouring a second glass for himself plus one for Kaito.

"Is there anything I can do, Shin-chan?" Kaito softly inquired, unsure of what he should say or do.

Shinichi snorted. "No…. Thanks. Well, maybe you can tell me, what do you do in this kind of situation? All my life I've just kind of figured that Ran was the one and that was it. How do you just pick up and move on after you've invested twenty years in a relationship?" Shinichi threw down his second glass of wine. "I mean…how did _you_ get over it…when Hakuba and Aoko-san started dating? Didn't it just kill you?"

Kaito looked down at his empty plate and made some pretense of filling it. He was seriously hoping his cheeks weren't betraying his embarrassment. "Yeah, but you were there for me. When Aoko broke up with me and then when things didn't work out with Sa—Hakuba either. You were the one that got me through it. Though…I'm still a little messed up over it, but your study comes in handy for that, but…. Shinichi…I wouldn't mind, you know, if you needed to lean on me for support through this. I…I'm here for you, Shinichi."

Shinichi stared in surprised silence for a good minute before a soft, grateful smile broke on his face. "Thanks, Kaito. You're wonderful, you know that?"

Kaito's heart skipped a beat. "I…I'm not that great," he laughed it off, turning his head in a vain attempt to hide his blush. He quickly tried to change the subject. "Say, you're a great cook. This stuff is amazing. Do you think you could give me the recipe?"

"Why? You don't cook," Shinichi snickered, reaching for the wine bottle once more. "You really are awesome, Kaito. Honestly. Thank you."

Kaito bit his lip, reaching out to put his hand on Shinichi's forearm. "Shin-chan, you really shouldn't drink so much."

"Just this once," Shinichi promised. "I swear I won't make a habit of it, but…it's Valentine's Day, and I kind of just lost the love of my life, you know?"

"You didn't let _me_ get drunk," Kaito muttered, retracting his hand.

"_You_ have an addictive personality and a propensity to engage in self-destructive behavior," Shinichi reminded, sticking out his tongue.

"Well neh," Kaito huffed in return. "I'm not the only one who 'engages in self-destructive behavior', crazy detective."

Shinichi raised and dropped his shoulder in indifference. "You'll just have to look after me then, if you care so much. 'Cause I plan on getting blind drunk tonight. Feel free to stick around and watch the train wreck."

"I _do_ care about you, you idiot," Kaito muttered, helping himself to the ample spread of dishes set before him.

"Thanks." Shinichi sent his companion a faint smile. "You're the best."

"Yeah, yeah," Kaito grumbled, mouth full.

Shinichi took a long, slow drink of the wine. "Wanna have a sleepover?"

"Adults don't have sleepovers." Kaito rolled his eyes.

"Sure they do," Shinichi chuckled, a suggestive lilt to his words.

Kaito blushed. "I'm not sleeping with you out of pity."

"I meant like usual," Shinichi laughed, genuine mirth present in his voice. "Like we always do…. Would you be able to spend the night, or do you have work early tomorrow or something?"

Kaito knew he should say no. Sleepless nights spent listening to the sounds of his crush breathing and watching the rise and fall of Shinichi's chest were not healthy for him.

"Sure," Kaito easily agreed against his better judgment. He liked pretending that he belonged in Shinichi's bedroom…that he had a place in Shinichi's heart. "I'll stay with you. What are friends for?"

"Thank you. I don't really want to be alone." Shinichi smiled sadly down into his wine glass.

"Give me that," Kaito sighed, swiping the glass and draining it himself.

"You don't drink," Shinichi noted with surprise.

"Yeah, but it's not like I can let you empty that whole bottle by yourself." Kaito shrugged, a light blush rising in his cheeks.

Shinichi took his glass back and refilled it. "But you're such a lightweight. You'll be on the floor in no time."

"I could drink you under the table," Kaito snorted, all talk.

Shinichi rolled his eyes. "Save it for someone who doesn't know any better and eat your dinner, Kaito. How are you supposed to take care of me, if you're drunk too?"

Kaito picked up his fork, grumbling under his breath.

Half an hour and two bottles of wine later, Kaito had had two and a half glasses to Shinichi's seven and was feeling slightly off-balance. Shinichi, on the other hand, was still going strong, now working on a twelve-pack of Kirin.

They were on the couch watching…Kaito really couldn't remember. It was some Valentine's special or another that NHK was airing—a movie or some kind of TV drama. Kaito really was a lightweight, but he'd be damned before he was going to admit that to Shinichi.

"Gimme one," he ordered, reaching for the beer and only ending up leaning against Shinichi for support, his head tipping to rest on Shinichi's shoulder.

"You sure?" the detective chuckled, holding out the can and dangling it teasingly over Kaito's head. "You're looking pretty tipsy, Mr. 'I could drink you under the table'."

With a snort, Kaito grabbed the can and guzzled it down so that he wouldn't have to taste it. "That stuff's nasty," he hissed, climbing clumsily over Shinichi to grab another can.

"Then don't drink it," Shinichi sniggered, helping himself to another can of his own.

"You're gonna get alcohol poisonin' if you drink all this yourself," Kaito protested, having a little trouble sitting up on his own.

Shinichi just chortled as the alcohol finally began to take effect. He pulled Kaito over to lean against him once again. "I'll be fine. It's you I'm worried about. Sober up a bit, Kuroba." Shinichi took Kaito's can and set it aside, wrapping an arm around the smaller brunette to steady him.

Kaito's head was swimming. He felt foggy and warm. It was nice just resting his head against Shinichi, his ear above his crush's heart listening to the detective's breaths and heartbeats. It was comfy being surrounded by Shinichi's warmth, the smell of cinnamon from Shinichi's body wash and shampoo, and, of course, the haze caused by the alcohol.

At some point he must have dozed off because the next thing he knew, he was quite a bit more sober, and Shinichi was a great deal more drunk.

The great detective was aimlessly tracing the curves of Kaito's lips, his fingers ghosting across Kaito's face. "You're pretty," Shinichi muttered, voice slurred. "Not like Ran, but…still pretty. For a guy," he clarified. "Skin's nice 'n' soft." Shinichi took Kaito's face by the cheeks with both hands.

"S-S-Shin-chan?" Kaito stuttered, heart beating like a frightened rabbit's. He knew he should pull away. Tell the detective he was drunk and be done with it. Kill the delusions before they ever had a chance to plant their torturous, masochistic seeds in Kaito's mind, but…Shinichi was touching him, eye's half-lidded, pupils dilated, and lips so painfully close to Kaito's.

His touch was so soft and gentle. He touched him like Kaito was fragile and delicate…precious. It had been a while since someone had last treated Kaito like he was valuable, desirable.

Pushing thoughts of his blonde paramour of the past down, Kaito gave into temptation and leaned into Shinichi's touch. "Shinichi," he sighed, justifying his behavior with an inner mantra of _"I'm drunk. I'm drunk. I'm so incredibly drunk. It's okay. I can blame it on the alcohol in the morning."_

"I like your eyes," Shinichi mumbled, cupping Kaito's cheek, drawing a blissful sigh from the younger man's lips. "Like jewels. So purple."

Kaito was starting to feel intoxicated again as his hormones went haywire.

"I should put you in handcuffs, jewel thief," Shinichi chuckled, cloudy mind jumping from one line of thought to the next in a bit of a free association.

Kaito's body temperature soared through the roof, his skin tingling. "Yes, please," he begged, voice cracking.

Shinichi frowned. "Hakuba put you in handcuffs, didn't he?" the detective accused. "You let him, didn't you? When you two were together."

Kaito nodded, a sharp, stabbing pain in his gut coming at the mention of Saguru. Memories of cold metal juxtaposed with hot kisses bubbled to the surface, and Kaito struggled to stuff them down again. Of course there had been handcuffs; Kaito had been the one to suggest them. He secretly wanted someone to dominate him…for someone else to be in control for a while…to feel safe and protected.

"I thought so," Shinichi growled softly. "I always wondered about what he did to you…how far you let him go."

Kaito really wasn't liking that accusatory tone to Shinichi's voice…like he thought what Kaito had done was dirty. "Is that really any of your business?" Kaito challenged.

With an indignant snort and a glare of vexation, Shinichi pushed Kaito down on the couch, pinning him by the shoulders. "_Yes_," he insisted as if it were obvious. "You're _my_ thief. Of course I'm gonna get jealous if you let other people catch you."

Kaito felt dizzy. His mouth had gone dry. He arched his back, lifting his hips and whimpering in desperation. "Then catch me yourself. Make me yours," he panted, body burning for Shinichi's touch.

The detective blinked in confusion, Kaito's pleas apparently not making any sense to his alcohol-addled brain.

Kaito whined in frustration. "How can you say crap like that and only think of me as a friend, Shinichi?" He reached up and pulled the detective into a sloppy, awkward kiss.

Shinichi responded mechanically, moaning as Kaito's lips sucked at his frantically.

Tears began to build up in the corners of Kaito's eyes. It was nothing like he had imagined.

Shinichi tasted like fine wine and cheap beer. He smelled like alcohol. The stench permeated everything—his clothes, his hair, his skin, his breath. It only drove home the fact that this wasn't real. This was an alcohol-induced lapse of judgment on Shinichi's part.

This wasn't love. It was shameful and wrong.

Kaito fell still as Shinichi's lips moved down his neck, leaving a string of red marks in their wake. Kaito closed his eyes and pretended that this was something beautiful as Shinichi unbuttoned Kaito's shirt, his hands and teeth exploring Kaito's chest and abdomen.

"Ran," Shinichi moaned into Kaito's stomach.

Kaito choked down a sob.

"Ran," Shinichi purred, trailing kisses down past Kaito's belly button.

"Stop," Kaito whispered, putting a hand over Shinichi's when the detective tried to undo Kaito's belt.

Shinichi blinked, sitting up and looking down in confusion at the other male. "Kaito?" He frowned, cocking his head to the side like he was surprised and baffled to find the other boy there.

"You're drunk," Kaito explained, emotions sealed behind a careful poker face. "It's time to go to bed."

"Oh." Shinichi looked around, trying to get a handle on the situation. "Ran is…?"

"She went home," Kaito whispered bitterly, shakily getting to his feet and helping his crush up.

With much stumbling and staggering and bumping into walls, the two made their way up to Shinichi's bedroom. The floor and bed were covered in rose petals.

Kaito gave an offended snort as he threw back the covers. He helped Shinichi out of his carefully selected outfit, and then, shedding his outer layer of clothing, he crawled into bed as well.

Shinichi was out like a light, but it took Kaito a long time to fall asleep. First, there was the masochistic ritual of listening to Shinichi's peaceful in- and ex-halations. Then, he gingerly petted Shinichi's usually pristine hair, running his fingers through it and lovingly stroking Shinichi's face in the process. Finally, Kaito gave up, curling into a ball next to the detective and letting himself pretend that he was welcome there.

…

The next morning came as a bit of a shock for Kudo Shinichi. His head was killing him, but that wasn't really all that surprising considering he had made it his goal to get so drunk that he couldn't remember anything the night before. And now that was a problem because he couldn't remember a damn thing after dinner, and Kuroba Kaito—a virtually naked Kuroba Kaito—was currently lying in his arms, their limbs intertwined, with a line of angry red hickeys from the base of his jaw to the band of his boxers.

Shinichi could briefly recall snippets of some kind of NHK special, Kaito writhing in anticipation beneath him on the couch, and tears slowly spilling down Kaito's cheeks. And now they were both in boxers in Shinichi's bed. The detective had a bad feeling about this.

He wouldn't seriously sleep with Kaito, would he? Kaito was his friend. Brilliant, witty, and devilishly handsome, but…his _friend_ nonetheless. Then again, Shinichi had been absolutely thrashed in terms of intoxication level and emotionally over Ran. It didn't take much stretching of the imagination to believe that he had taken his pain out sexually on Kaito.

With a resigned sigh and a soft smile, Shinichi gently began tracing the lines and curves of Kaito's features.

Kaito was pretty. Not gorgeous and elegant like Ran, but…cute. Handsome. Endearingly charming.

It tugged at Shinichi's heartstrings the way that even in sleep Kaito looked tired and sad. There were bags under his eyes, and they were left red from tears.

Shinichi knew that Kaito had been through a lot, first with his breakup with Nakamori Aoko right during finals of senior year of high school and then with the end of his relationship with Hakuba Saguru coinciding with their graduation from college. It had been the icing on the cake when Hakuba and Aoko-san had announced their engagement a little more than a year after that.

Through the whole thing Kaito had tried to remain strong. He'd fought like hell to keep it together. He'd spent hours holed up in the Kudo study with thousands of books to keep his mind suitably occupied and a comfortable wingback chair to curl up in like a stray cat trying to pretend that he belonged there.

Come to think of it, Kaito wasn't really dealing with things well at all. He was running away, hiding in that study where no one could hurt him. Kaito was broken. He'd patched himself together with duct tape and rubber bands and pretended he was fine when, in reality, he was ready to fall apart at the smallest shove. One little push and he'd fall to pieces.

Shinichi frowned, tucking an unruly strand of hair behind Kaito's ear.

Kaito put on a brave face, but the truth was that he needed help…support, protection. Kaito was curled up in his shell, hiding away from the world. He hadn't even tried to date these past three years since Hakuba; however, Kaito had opened up to one person. Kaito had let _Shinichi_ in.

With a sigh, Shinichi wrapped his arms protectively around the smaller male, lovingly nuzzling Kaito's messy locks.

"I won't hurt you," Shinichi whispered. "I swear. I swear I won't hurt you. It won't be like before. I won't be like them. You're safe with me, and I'm gonna fight like hell to protect you."

It was another thirty minutes or so before Kaito woke up, and Shinichi used the time well, getting to know Kaito's body, studying the smaller brunette. All in all, he didn't like what he saw: old wounds, scars, signs of neglect and wear. Kaito was run down. He needed more sleep, a proper diet, and some major rest and relaxation.

Shinichi had some serious plans for the magician's care and upkeep once Kaito woke up. Kaito was moving out of his dinky apartment and into the guestroom at the Kudo Manor. He was cashing in all of his unused vacation time at work, and Shinichi was going to pamper the hell out of him with massages and onsens and proper meals. No more of this instant ramen and convenience store bentos crap that Kaito was accustomed to.

Shinichi would be sure to make time for Kaito too. He knew he could get wrapped up in his work. Ran had often complained that…

Shinichi's heart constricted at the thought of his life-long love.

He sighed, burying his face in Kaito's hair.

It was going to be okay. This was good. He was moving on. He didn't have time to fall to pieces over Ran. Let Ran worry about Ran. Shinichi had to take care of Kaito.

Somewhere in the back of his mind a little voice worried that this was all happening too fast. It warned him that it would be better not to rush things, to take time to grieve properly.

Another voice pointed out that he should have thought things through before jumping into bed with an emotional ten-car-pile-up like Kaito. It informed him that he now had no choice. He was stuck with the magician. He had to take responsibility for what he had done to Kaito. After all, what was the alternative? Tell Kaito that their night together had meant nothing and turn the guy out on the street? Sure, sleeping with Kaito had been a mistake, but if Kaito had feelings for Shinichi, Shinichi couldn't just push him away. A third round of heartbreak was sure to break Kaito for good.

A third voice of reason claimed that this was all for the best, that in taking care of Kaito, Shinichi would be forced to care for himself. They'd heal together, heal each other. And really, Kaito wasn't all that bad. Other than being decidedly more male than Shinichi was accustomed to in a mate, Kaito was extremely intelligent, absolutely hilarious, and honestly fun to be around. This would be good for him. Good for the both of them.

…

Kaito was acutely aware of someone holding him, stroking his hair and face lovingly. He opened his eyes to find himself still dreaming. Shinichi was smiling down at him in adoration.

"Hey," Shinichi chuckled, sweeping away one of Kaito's rogue bangs. "Good morning. How are you feeling?"

Kaito was suddenly questioning whether this was really a dream after all. He kind of felt like crap. He made a sleepy little noise of discontent.

"How's your body?" Shinichi gulped, guilt tinting his features.

Kaito blinked, slowly coming into awareness of where he was and how he had gotten there.

The detective continued on awkwardly. "I know it's been a while since you last…you know. Did anything like that with anyone. It didn't hurt too bad, did it? I'm sorry. I don't remember…well, _anything_ from last night, but…you were crying, weren't you? I kind of remember you crying. Did I hurt you, Kaito?"

Kaito knew he should fess up and tell his crush that nothing really had happened. He _knew_ he should explain that it was all just a big misunderstanding, but…he really kind of liked the guilt and the pity and the…was that fondness in Shinichi's eyes?

Kaito swallowed hard. "N-No. I'm…I'm fine. Thank you."

"Look," Shinichi sighed, stroking Kaito's cheek. "I'm sorry about what I did last night. I never should have taken my feelings for Ran out on you like that, especially when you've been going through such a rough time yourself. It was selfish and wrong and just bad of me, Kaito, but…look, I want to make this right. Kaito…just how drunk were you last night?"

Kaito opened his mouth to swear that he'd been completely sloshed, but the truth came out instead. "I wasn't. When I kissed you and all that, I wasn't drunk," he confessed, looking anywhere but at Shinichi. "I'm sorry. I took advantage of you and the situation, Shinichi. I'm really sorry, and I'd understand if you didn't…I mean…I—"

"—Don't…don't worry about it," Shinichi assured, taking Kaito by the jaw and forcing the younger of the pair to look at him. "Look, Kaito, what happened…I'm sorry it happened that way, and next time I swear to you that I'll do things properly, but I think it all happened for the best."

Kaito blinked. "Huh?"

"What happened between us is a good thing. It allowed me to see what a mess you've been and how I've failed you. Kaito, I'm going to take care of you from now on. I'm going to do better. I swear this won't be like with Aoko-san or Hakuba, so…if you could…entrust your heart to me. I'm going to try to be worthy of it. I'm going to make everything up to you. I'm going to be the kind of man you deserve."

Kaito was tempted to pinch himself. "What?"

Shinichi frowned, embarrassment highlighting his cheeks. "G-Go out with me. I swear I'll never make you cry again."

Kaito stared up in disbelief at the man that had stolen his heart long ago. He couldn't believe it.

But Shinichi was staring down at him with such intensity and resolve that Kaito couldn't help but believe that Shinichi meant every word.

"Why?" Kaito had to know. "Yesterday you were all brokenhearted over Mouri-chan. Why me? How?"

Shinichi blushed, still staring Kaito right in the eye. "Because. Kaito, I need you. In order to get better myself, I _need_ a purpose—a reason to get out of bed in the morning, someone else to live for…. And…you need me. You need someone to take care of you, to help mend all those cracks that the other two have carelessly put in you. I like you a lot, Kaito. Give me some time, and I'm sure I can come to love you more than anything. What do you say? Go out with me."

Slowly but surely a smile of pure joy blossomed on Kaito's face. "Yes. Yes. Please don't let this be a dream. Yes, yes, yes."

Shinichi smiled softly, leaning in and pressing a light kiss to Kaito's forehead. "First things first, you're moving in with me."

Kaito blinked. "Wait. What?"

"You're moving in with me," Shinichi repeated with authority. "I'm a bossy, controlling, possessive boyfriend, and you're moving in with me so that I can take care of you," Shinichi explained.

Kaito chuckled softly. "I like the sound of that. I secretly like it when you boss me around…most of the time. Don't mind if I get rebellious sometimes. I _do_ have a mind of my own, so I'm not going to just roll over and be submissive _all_ of the time."

"Fair enough." Shinichi shrugged, nuzzling Kaito's hair once more. "I like it when you're feisty. It's sexy. But, for now, you're moving in with me so that I can smother you with love and attention."

"Yes, Sir," Kaito chuckled, wrapping his arms around Shinichi, basking in the safety and the warmth.

The

End

...

Mikau: How was it? What did you think? Hopefully you enjoyed it. Well, as always, I'd be interested in knowing what you thought. What was good/bad/funny/weak? It's easier to do a repeat performance, when I know what my audience likes, and it's helpful for me to grow as a writer. Thanks again for reading, and I hope to see you again soon! Take care!


	2. Things Fall Apart

Mikau: Hi everyone! So, I've decided to continue writing this fic. A few of you in your reviews said that you were looking forward to seeing where this was going, and I thought, "Well, shoot. That was supposed to be a one-shot that I decided to do spur of the moment." After some thought, I came up with ideas for four or so more chapters, so here you go. Updates won't be very regular, but I do promise to work on it. This chapter is actually a kind of prequel to chapter one. The first half deals with the end of Hakuba and Kaito's relationship at the end of college, and then the second half covers Kaito's depression and Shinichi coming in and taking care of him and slowly making it better. I hope you guys enjoy it. Also, thank you so much for your support guys. This wouldn't have gone anywhere had you not asked for more, so a heartfelt thank you to reviewers foreverandeveralone, patternleap, MeitanteiRose, mochiusagi, RyomaLovers, and Bunnyz-chan!

Disclaimer: If I owned it, I would probably have it go on forever and ever and ever too.

…

Chapter Two: Things Fall Apart

"It could use some fixing up here and there, but I think this place has some real potential," Kaito declared.

Truthfully, Kaito didn't really care for the apartment, but it was the fourth one that they had looked at that day (the twelfth in total), and Kaito really really really just wanted to go home and get in bed with his boyfriend. This was complicated by the fact that Saguru was not about to let them go back to their current apartment until they had gone over every nook and cranny of the place at hand.

"I think it's rather nice," Saguru reported, inspecting the main living area.

"It's a little small, don't you think?" Kaito replied before remembering that his plan had been to insist that he loved it so that they could just pick one and move on with their lives. Saguru's new cologne was driving him crazy, and all he wanted to do at that moment was rip those tantalizingly tight slacks off of his lover's body.

Kaito missed the flash of guilt that flickered across Saguru's face. "It's cozy," the blonde revised.

The magician raised an eyebrow. "You know what, Guru? I really don't care. Do the appliances and utilities all work?"

"Y-Yes. Of course," the Brit replied.

"Then let's look at the bedroom and bathroom and get out of here. If the shower's big enough to fit the two of us in our usual positions, that's all that really matters." Kaito shrugged, smirking as Saguru's face went watermelon red.

"Is that _all_ you think about?" Saguru sputtered, following behind as Kaito took off in search of the aforementioned rooms.

"Yep," Kaito verified, a smug grin clinging to his lips. "In fact, that's what I'm thinking about right now—getting you home and in bed. Unless you wanna do it in the shower, Guru. I'm up for that too."

"Kaito," Saguru sighed as his beloved stepped into the shower and pulled him in along behind.

"Of course, if you don't want to wait, we could always do it here," Kaito sniggered, pulling Saguru into his arms and nipping the blonde's collarbone. "You know…break the place in."

"Dove, what do you seriously think of this place?" Saguru chuckled, threading his fingers through Kaito's hair. "Can you see yourself living here?"

"Here's just as good as anywhere so long as I'm with you," Kaito chuckled, looking up at his partner with eyes full of adoration. "I love you."

Guilt ripped through Hakuba like a chainsaw as he leaned in and kissed his mate on the forehead. "I love you too, Kaito…but, _seriously_, what do you think?"

"This place could grow on me." He shrugged, pulling Saguru into a heated kiss. The detective did little to protest Kaito's affections.

…

They signed the lease the next day, and Saguru paid for the entire first year.

"You could have let me pitch in with footing the bill, Guru," Kaito griped, but Saguru waved his complaints away.

"You still don't have a job lined up. Don't worry about it. Save your money for your future."

"_Our_ future," Kaito corrected, playfully flicking his boyfriend in the shoulder. "What do I have to save money for? I'm practically marrying into royalty. Are you expecting your dad to lose his job or your mom to get disinherited or her company to suddenly go under or something?"

"Just…save your money, Kaito," Saguru advised, guilt stabbing him in the gut once more.

…

The next week was graduation, and Kaito spent the weekend after that packing everything he owned into boxes. It was kind of depressing really. He didn't actually own all that much. He'd gotten rid of _everything_ he'd possessed that reminded him of Aoko after she'd broken up with him at the end of high school (that had pretty much been thirteen years worth of stuff), and in the four years since, he hadn't really accumulated all that much.

Still, Kaito was excited. He felt like his life was finally starting. He was going to go out there, become a famous magician (well, for the present, he was going to put his engineering degree to some use, but eventually he'd get there), grow old with Hakuba Saguru, and have five kids, three dogs, two cats, and a silver minivan. Can you say "soccer mom"? Kaito was looking forward to the title.

Everything was falling into place, and moving into their new apartment was going to be the first step. Unfortunately, moving day came, and Saguru was not ready.

"Why is your stuff not in boxes?" Kaito glared at his boyfriend. "What's up, Guru? Usually you're so on top of things."

"Right. Sorry. We'll just move your things first," Saguru chuckled weakly.

Kaito frowned but loaded his things up into the car anyway.

"It was a mistake to get an apartment on the third floor with no elevator in the building," Kaito grumbled as they carried the boxes up the three flights.

"Good exercise." Saguru shrugged, trying to be helpful.

It really didn't take too long, though. Kaito didn't have a lot of stuff, so it only took them twenty minutes to get everything from the car into the new apartment.

"Now we go back and pack up your stuff?" Kaito inquired, still wondering what the heck was up with his sweetheart today. Saguru had been just plain out of it.

"Let's…let's get all of your things unpacked first," Saguru suggested, voice uncommonly soft.

Kaito raised an eyebrow at his boyfriend but shrugged it off as they began unpacking boxes and filling the empty apartment.

The contents of one box made Kaito frown. "You packed up stuff for the kitchen and bathroom, but you didn't get to your personal belongs?"

Saguru shrugged, dodging the question. "I suppose so."

"What's with you lately, Guru?" Kaito turned to stare intently at his mate.

"I'm sure it's nothing." Saguru evaded Kaito's gaze. "Just…nervous about moving on in life, I guess. You get so comfortable, and then…then it's hard doing something new. You don't want things to change. You don't want to think about what you're leaving behind because it's dear and precious to you. It's hard to leave the life you love behind."

Kaito nodded in understanding, coming to sit on the floor beside his love. "Yeah. I totally get it." He pressed a light kiss to his partner's temple. "But the future's worth it. I'm excited for our future, Guru. I know what you mean about leaving things behind, Saguru, but… Look, when Aoko dumped me, I thought it was the end of the world. I couldn't imagine a future without her, but…if I hadn't let go and moved on, I never would have ended up with you. Even though the future's scary, it'll be okay. You've got me, Guru, and we'll face anything that comes our way together."

Saguru laughed softly, tears streaming down his cheeks. "Kaito…you're strong. You're so amazingly strong, and you deserve the very best. Your future is a bright one."

"Saguru, what's wrong?" Kaito was suddenly out of his element. It wasn't like his boyfriend to break down in tears like this.

Finally the detective looked him in the eye and shook his head. "You deserve the best, Kaito, and I am not the best."

A peeved expression took over Kaito's features. "Seriously? Stop it. Cut out the low self-esteem, Guru. Everything's going to be fine, so get it together, and let's go back to the apartment to pack up your stuff. We can finish unpacking the last box or two of my stuff when we get back."

Saguru followed Kaito to his feet but did not make a move towards the door. "No, Kaito."

The magician bit the inside of his lip, trying to be patient with his suddenly bipolar boyfriend. "No what?"

"I'm…I'm not moving here," Saguru quietly informed.

Kaito wanted to smack the blonde. "Saguru, we already signed the lease and paid for the first year."

Saguru shook his head. "You misunderstand. _You_ are moving here, Kaito. I…I will be moving elsewhere."

It took a moment for the gears in Kaito's head to start moving to process this. "What?" he finally demanded intelligently. "Wait. What?" He blinked a few times. "Guru, if you're trying to tell me that you need some space, that's fine, but this is not the way to do it. I understand that you have some fears about commitment, but there's no need to freak about it and go behind my back, tricking me into moving out. It's not like…It's not like…Okay, I'll be honest with you; I kind of did…sort of think of us as kind of married, but… Look. It's not like I was gonna start demanding that we had babies or anything anytime soon, so…don't wig out on me, okay? Just talk to me next time. I love you, and I'm more than willing to talk it out."

Saguru bit his lip, tears still rolling down his cheeks. "Kaito…I…I love you too…more than anything…. That's why…that's why I'm doing this. Kaito, you need to go find some nice girl and get married and have a family…be successful. We can't keep doing this anymore."

And now Kaito was totally confused. "What?"

"Kaito…" Saguru whispered, voice cracking. "Kaito, let's break up."

And now Kaito was mad. "No. That's stupid. Shut up and let's go get your stuff boxed up so that we can move into our new apartment and get on with the rest of our wonderfully long lives together."

"Kaito, I can't be with you anymore," Saguru insisted, feet glued to the spot. "These past four years have been the most wonderful of my entire life, but it can't go on like this. I have to settle down, work my way up in the world by my own merit, marry a good woman, and raise a family. It's what society expects of us. It's what my family expects of me…. It's what…what I…want…I think."

Kaito was quickly going numb. He could sort of feel something wet sliding down his cheek. Tears were pooling in his eyes and spilling over.

Oh God. Was this really happening?

"Y-You…want…a woman?" Kaito finally vocalized.

Saguru nodded, staring at the ground.

Kaito thought long and hard about it before finally whispering, "Okay."

Saguru's head snapped up and he blinked incredulously at the magician before him. "R-Really?"

Kaito gulped and nodded. "Y-Yeah. I mean…if you want…if you want a woman, it doesn't really…it doesn't really make much difference to me. I mean, I've…I've dressed up as women plenty of times, and I wouldn't really mind, if it'd make you happy, so…yeah. I mean, if you don't mind paying for the surgery, I guess I could…I could become a woman."

"Kaito, Dove, no…" Saguru finally broke, coming over and wrapping his arms around the man he loved. "Kaito, that's not what I meant. I love you…I absolutely adore you just the way you are. I wouldn't want you to mutilate yourself for me. I…Dove…this is goodbye. You're strong, Kaito. Go. Move on. Find someone else."

Kaito blinked, feeling so lost. He didn't understand. "You…love me, but…you're leaving me?"

"I'm leaving you _because_ I love you," Saguru insisted, trying hard to convince himself right alongside of Kaito. "You deserve more than I can offer you. You deserve a normal life…a beautiful wife, children…pets, a white picket fence around the yard, and a minivan…the things that I know that you want. I can't give you those things."

Kaito almost shouted, "Sure you can!" but "And there's nothing I can do to change your mind?" was what left his lips as he stared in hurt and betrayal at the man he had planned on spending the rest of his life with.

Saguru shook his head. "No, Dove. This is the end."

"Is there someone else?" Kaito found himself wondering out loud.

"Sort of, but that has nothing to do with it," Saguru sheepishly admitted. "I swear to you, Kaito, that I have never been unfaithful to you."

"Who is it? How'd you meet hi—her?" Kaito challenged, mustering up all of his energy to be angry but finding that he didn't have the strength.

"…It's Aoko," Saguru confessed, making a point of not looking at Kaito. "We ran into each other a few months ago at a café and got to talking. We've met for coffee as friends a few times since then. It was never anything even remotely romantic, and the only reason I didn't tell you was because I know how you still get whenever something reminds you of Aoko. I honestly don't know if I'll pursue a relationship with her or not, Kaito, but I want to make it clear that I am not leaving you for her. I'm leaving you for your own sake. I promise that you'll be better off without me."

Silence fell over them as Kaito struggled to process all that he'd been told.

When it didn't look like Kaito would be putting up any more of a fight, Saguru leaned in and embraced his beloved once more, pressing a sorrowful kiss to Kaito's lips.

"I wish you the best, Dove. Please. Please, go out there and find happiness. Goodbye, Kaito."

The door closed softly behind the blonde, but to Kaito's ears it sounded like a crash. The apartment that had once seemed too small now felt so big, and, geez, how empty it was! Kaito would never be able to fill all of this space. Especially now that he'd have to get rid of everything he owned that reminded him of Saguru.

Kaito sunk to the ground and stared at the inside of his new home. He really hadn't cared much for the apartment in the first place. He should have said something, but he was too busy thinking with the half of his brain housed in his pants. He'd wanted to go home and spend time with Saguru. That was all that he wanted to do now as well.

Maybe he could pretend that he'd forgotten something, go back to their apartment, and then refuse to leave?

But…from the way Saguru explained it, that apartment would soon be vacant as well. Saguru was literally moving on. New job, new apartment…new romance.

Things were not turning out how Kaito had planned. And he'd been so excited about the start of their new life together. Now all of that was coming crashing down around him, and all he wanted was for Guru to come back and hold him.

Kaito curled up on the carpet and shut his eyes, attempting to shut out the world as tears continued to steadily run down his face.

He'd imagined such a wonderful life for himself and Saguru, and now it was all being taken away. What did he have left? He had no job, no means of supporting himself. He'd burnt bridges after high school after his apocalyptic breakup with Aoko. His "lifelong" friends had been out of the picture for four years now, and all of the people he'd hung out with in college…well, he'd cut ties with them because Saguru hadn't liked them. At the time, it'd seemed like a great idea, affording Kaito more quality time with his hubby, but now…now he just felt so isolated. He'd kept so few people in his life, and now there was no one left to go to for comfort and help.

No, Kaito had a grand total of his apartment (for one year, at least), all of the items contained within it, and a bachelor's degree in engineering. Yippee! He had so little to show for his life. He'd put his all into his relationship with Saguru, and his relationship with Aoko before that. His beloveds had been his entire world, and now that the relationships were over, it was the literal end of the world, and he had nothing left.

Kaito cried bitterly as he waited for Saguru to come back. Thoughts of begging crossed his mind. Maybe if he threatened to kill himself? Kaito was "strong"? Ha. Yeah right. Kaito was a mess. He'd only survived the breakup with Aoko because Saguru had been there to pull him out of the debris. Now there was no one left to come to his rescue, and he knew for a fact that he did not have the strength to crawl out of the wreckage on his own.

Kaito waited and cried and cried and waited, praying that Saguru would come back and take him home. The sun went down, and the apartment grew cold. Kaito knew he should get up and find the thermostat…finish unpacking…eat something…but he found himself lacking both the energy and will to move.

…

It had taken every bit of Saguru's self-control and discipline to break up with Kaito. It had been near impossible to keep himself from going back and apologizing and throwing himself on the ground at Kaito's feet, sniveling and pleading for Kaito to take him back. But Saguru managed it; because he was doing it for Kaito, he managed it.

Saguru did, however, find himself unable to walk away completely. He couldn't leave well enough alone. He was worried sick and had to know how Kaito was doing. Seven days in, he gave up and phoned one of Kaito's repulsive friends to inquire into how his magician was fairing.

Imagine Saguru's surprise when said "friend" reported that he hadn't had anything to do with the ex-thief since over a year ago. Vaguely troubled by this (especially since that particular vagrant had been one of Kaito's closest college companions), he dialed another one of his ex's buddies that he had disapproved of.

Saguru was in a bit of a panic after he had practically exhausted the list of Kaito's known friends and acquaintances and not one of them had heard from Kaito in the past year.

"Hello?" a sleepy voice on the other end of the line held back an irritated growl.

"Ah, yes. This is Hakuba Saguru; may I please speak with Kudo Shinichi? I'm sorry. I know it's getting to be late," Saguru sputtered, glancing at the clock and beginning to fret when he realized that, one, it was nearing two o'clock in the morning, and, two, Saguru had been so caught up in his investigation that he had lost track of the time.

"Speaking," Kudo Shinichi grumbled into the receiver. "What can I do for you, Hakuba-kun?"

"Kudo-kun, I really am sorry to bother you, but…have you heard from Kaito recently?" Saguru held his breath.

"No. Not really."

Saguru's heart sank.

"It's probably been about two weeks," Shinichi continued, and a sense of relief overtook the blonde. "He did say he'd be busy with graduation and that you two would be moving after that, so…wait. Isn't he with you? He's not missing, is he?"

"…I don't know," Saguru admitted. "Kudo-kun, I fear I've made a terrible mistake. I…I got this stupid idea into my head that I wasn't good enough for Kaito…that he didn't need me…that he should go find a nice normal girl and be happy, so…so I broke up with him a week ago. It was absolutely idiotic. I moved him into the new apartment, and I broke up with him. I thought giving him a fresh start would be good. I thought he was happy and secure and strong. I thought he had tons of friends. I thought things were going just great for him, but…but…Kudo-kun, I've called at least thirty people that I thought were Kaito's close friends, but every one of them has told me that it's been over a year since they've heard from him. How could I be so blind? How could I miss this? Why did he keep this from me? I mean…do you know? He _does_ have friends, right?"

Shinichi was quiet for a minute before responding in a small voice, "To my knowledge? Just me. He stopped hanging out with everyone you disapproved of until…it was just me. He comes over to my house every Friday night and we hang out but…to my knowledge, Kaito doesn't really have any other friends."

"Oh, God, I'm an idiot!" Saguru swore and mentally cursed himself. "I've got to go. I've got to get over there and check on him. Dammit! The state I've left him in? And all by himself, no less! Thank you, Kudo-kun."

"Wait!" Shinichi called out before Hakuba could hang up. "What's the address? I'm coming too."

…

"I'm an idiot!" Hakuba cried for what must have been the thousandth time as the hospital machines beeped steadily.

"Yep," Shinichi sighed, gazing in a mix of annoyance, pity, and worry at his comatose friend on the hospital bed before them. "You know, it might not be too late if you want to take it all back and beg for Kaito's forgiveness," the brunette detective suggested.

Hakuba shook his head sadly. "It took me months to find the resolve to set him free. I can't change my mind now. I still believe he'd be better off without me."

"You know, I'm starting to think so too, if you're this wishy-washy about your feelings for him," Shinichi snorted.

"I am NOT wishy-washy!" Hakuba insisted. "I love Kaito more than myself! This is for his own good. It's for his sake that I'm letting him go! He needs to move on and find happiness."

"Did you ever stop to think that he was already happy?" Maybe it was the sleep deprivation, but Shinichi was really wanting to punch the blonde git. "That maybe that wasn't your call to make? Why do you get to decide what's best for him?"

Hakuba blinked stupidly at him.

"He's crazy about you, you know," Shinichi continued a little bit softer. "You're the majority of what he talks about. He…Kaito calls you his 'hubby'. Ever since you asked him to move in with you two years ago, he's considered himself married. He's still waiting for you to put a ring on his finger because he's kind of sentimental about stuff like that, but…he's explained it away by telling me that you're probably just waiting until you're out of college and officially off on your own as real adults. He's so in love with you it's freaking annoying. I mean, the guy talks about what your kids' names are going to be, for Pete's sake. Did you know you were having five? Kaito's a passionate guy, and he never does anything halfheartedly. He was serious about you…utterly devoted to you…just what the hell do you think it did to him, you telling him you didn't want him anymore?"

The blonde just stared at Kaito's still form as tears ran down Hakuba's cheeks.

"If you're not planning on going back to your wife, get the hell out of this room. Make it a clean break; don't keep leading him on. You owe him that much." Shinichi was surprised to find himself growling at the other young man.

Hakuba slowly stood and pressed a soft kiss to Kaito's lips. "Truly, I am not worthy. I don't deserve him."

"You're right you don't," Shinichi grumbled.

Hakuba turned to him and gave him a pleading look. "Kudo-kun…you'll look after him, won't you? You'll take care of him until he can get his feet back underneath him again, won't you?"

Crossing his arms, Shinichi snorted again. "You better believe I will. Better than you ever did."

"Thank you." The blonde sent him the saddest, most genuine grateful smile and then left without another word.

Shinichi frowned. What the hell had he just agreed to?

He cast the magician an appraising look before going back to annoyance, pity, and, above all, worry.

…

Kaito knew where he was even before he could work his eyes open. Hospitals reeked rather distinctly, and the various beeping noises quickly clued him in that he was hooked up to various monitoring devices.

The only thing that really surprised him when he finally did manage to coax his eyes open was Kudo Shinichi sitting sentry beside his bed, looking a little worse for wear. It appeared to be his second or third day wearing the same clothes.

"Shin-chan?" Kaito's voice creaked like a rusty screen-door.

The detective put down his book and smiled softly at the magician. "Hey. You're up. How are you feeling, Kaito?"

Kaito shook his head. "Guru and I got a divorce."

"Yeah…" Shinichi mumbled. "I heard about that. Physically how are you feeling?"

Kaito looked at him with hound-dog eyes and repeated, "Guru and I got a divorce."

"Yeah." Shinichi bit his lip, not really sure what to do. He sighed, reaching out and patting Kaito on the head, massaging the magician's scalp and scratching behind Kaito's ear. "Yeah. That sucks. That really, really sucks, Kaito."

Kaito nodded, tears gathering in the corners of his eyes.

Shinichi let him cry. He handed the younger brunette the box of tissues off of the nightstand and lowered the railing on the bed so that he could get up next to the magician and hold him. Shinichi sat there for a little over an hour with him, giving Kaito a head rub and letting him get snot and tears all over the shirt Shinichi'd been wearing for two and a half days now.

The RNs came in and checked Kaito out as the poor boy sobbed, and Shinichi tried to stay out of their way while still holding on to Kaito. At first they had been alarmed at Kaito's hysterics, but Shinichi apologized and explained, "He's going through a divorce. They just left him, so it's still a little raw. He'll be okay."

They nodded in understanding and left it at that, but there was still the issue of paperwork to deal with.

"Are you his brother?" one nurse had asked him. "We need his next of kin to sign the release papers, and we'll need someone to take care of him afterwards. We can't keep him here any longer, but we can't just release him to go home by himself. Someone will have to stay with him."

Shinichi quickly racked his brain. Kaito didn't really have any family that Shinichi knew of besides Chikage-san, and Chikage-san was currently either somewhere in St. Louis or the Chicagoland area.

"Uh, yeah. I'm…I'm his next of kin," Shinichi fibbed. "He'll be staying with me until he's feeling better; I'll take care of him."

And just a few hours later, Kuroba Kaito was released. Shinichi pushed the wheelchair out to the parking lot, and the Professor pulled up in his yellow beetle to give them a ride back to the Kudo Manor.

Kaito was unsteady on his feet, so Kudo helped him to and from the car, practically carrying him to the couch in the living room once they finally made it home.

With a sigh, Shinichi sank into the cushions beside Kaito. "So…are you hungry, or did you want to shower and change first?"

Kaito didn't answer. The bereft young man simply stared at the grooves in the hardwood floor.

"I know it's embarrassing, but if you want to bathe, I'll help you," Shinichi offered. "It's the kind of thing that friends do, so don't worry about it. I don't mind, Kaito. If you want, we can get you cleaned up, and then I'll make you a nice dinner. Uh…maybe…udon or something? How's that sound?"

Kaito closed his eyes and sighed. "I'm not really hungry, Shinichi."

Shinichi bit his lip and reminded himself to be patient. "Yeah, I kind of figured. I wouldn't be either. Depression takes away your appetite, but you've still gotta eat. You ended up in the hospital because you were dehydrated and malnourished, and I don't think you want to go back there, do you?"

Kaito shook his head.

"Okay. So we're going to get you something to eat after your shower. Tell you what; if you eat at least a fourth of the bowl of noodles, I'll let you have some chocolate or some ice cream or something. Deal?" Shinichi bribed.

Kaito shrugged in indifference.

Red flags raised and alarms went off in Shinichi's mind. _"Uh oh. Not good. That's a bad sign if he's so depressed that he doesn't even want chocolate."_

Shinichi scratched his check awkwardly before reaching out and putting a hand on Kaito's head again. "You're gonna be okay. Things are just going to suck for a while. I bet you'll feel a little better once you're clean and in fresh clothes, though. Okay?"

Kaito nodded, silent tears sliding down his cheeks.

It was really strange giving Kaito a bath. The magician did most of the washing of his body himself, but he needed help getting undressed and washing his hair and back. He'd had a hard time with balance too, still weak from his week of dehydration, starvation, and general inactivity.

"I grabbed some clothes and stuff from your apartment when I went over there to check on you and found you passed out, but…is there anything else you need me to run over and get?" Shinichi inquired as he massaged the shampoo into Kaito's scalp.

Kaito seemed to think about it for a minute before responding. "Nah. Just my clothes. I'm planning on getting rid of the rest of that crap. It's all full of memories of him."

Shinichi nodded. "Maybe…maybe in a month or so we'll go over there and sort through it."

Kaito turned and looked at Shinichi in wide-eyed surprise. "A month? You mean…you mean you're letting me stay with you a whole month?"

Shinichi shrugged. "Sure. It'll probably be longer than that, though. I mean, unless your mom comes home and you want to move back in with her…. We both know you're not going to be fine and dandy in a matter of days or weeks, Kaito. This is going to be a long process, and until you're better, you're welcome here. The house is certainly big enough for the both of us, don't you think? I'd be glad for the company."

A tiny smile tugged at the corner of Kaito's mouth, and he nodded as tears rolled down his cheeks once more. "Thanks, Shin-chan."

"You're welcome," Shinichi returned as he rinsed Kaito's hair. "I really don't mind. You might be freaking annoying at times, Kaito, but I do care about you, you know."

"I'm glad somebody does," Kaito mumbled.

Shinichi didn't know what to say. He didn't want to lie. Kaito had closed everyone out of his life. He really didn't have anyone else left.

"You're an awesome person, Kaito; you've just been really antisocial lately." Shinichi finally settled upon a response. "Maybe in a few weeks we'll go out with some of my friends when you're feeling better."

Kaito made a little noise of ascent as Shinichi rubbed in the conditioner.

After Kaito was bathed and dressed, the boys made their way to the kitchen where Kaito sat and watched Shinichi whip up a quick dinner. Kaito obediently ate what had been set in front of him but declined his reward of dessert after the meal.

Shinichi led the magician into the living room afterwards, and they spent the evening watching TV together.

Kaito retired to the guestroom at about eight o'clock, and Shinichi went in to check on his friend several times throughout the night. Sometimes he found the other young man asleep, but, more often than not, Kaito was sobbing softly into the pillow. Shinichi sat up with him much of that first night and a great deal of the nights the first few weeks.

It was like Shinichi had adopted a baby…or maybe a kitten would be a more accurate description. Kaito needed a lot of supervision, and he seemed unable to do simple things for himself. He forgot to eat and just stared off into space or cried when left to his own devices. He curled up on the couch and slept away the day when permitted, following Shinichi around the house like a hungry stray when he had nothing better to do.

It was kind of cute the way Kaito would balance on a stool in the kitchen and watch Shinichi make dinner, but the rest of the time the constant crying and staring and whimpering and general out-of-character behavior drove Shinichi nuts.

"Come in here," Shinichi called to Kaito from the study one day about three weeks into their cohabitation, interrupting the magician's catnap.

Kaito curiously poked his head around the corner. "What's up, Shin-chan?"

"Kaito, I realize that you're depressed, but you can't just sit around all day crying and sleeping." Shinichi tried to be tactful and compassionate in bringing it up. "I want you to come in here and read something whenever you feel like sleeping or crying. I think we're to the point where we need to be proactive instead of wallowing in your misery, don't you?"

Kaito shrugged, coming into the well-stocked library.

"It's still okay to grieve, Kaito, but you shouldn't let it consume you. Come pick out a book," Shinichi urged, trying his best to be encouraging.

When Kaito didn't move any closer to the shelves, Shinichi sighed, taking the magician by the wrist and putting a hand on Kaito's lower back to push the other boy forward. "Come on, you. This is the part called 'tough love'. Look at the books and pick one to read. Heck, pick two."

Kaito nodded, trying to get his blush under control. "There're too many."

"You've got plenty of time. Just start with one," the detective instructed. "They're all good, but if you don't like one, you can always swap it for another."

Kaito took an even breath and stepped towards the shelf. He hesitantly reached forward and pulled out "The Little Prince". He looked to Shinichi for approval.

The detective nodded. "Awesome book. I think you'll be able to identify. Off to the couch now." He put his hand back on Kaito's low back and ushered the other brunette over to the couch. "I'll call you when dinner's ready."

…

The first day that Kaito was confined to the study was a little rough. He had trouble focusing on the words on the page when all that was really on his mind was Saguru—how he wanted Saguru back, how he was lonely and isolated, how he needed someone to touch him and take the pain away, how Shinichi's hand had felt at the base of his spine.

…Hold on a minute. What was that last one?

Kaito blushed when he realized that thoughts of his friend were making his spine tingle in a wave of arousal. He tried to write it off as abstinence playing tricks on his mind. Celibacy sucked; he was missing his hubby bad.

Not for the first time Kaito debated getting out his phone and calling to beg Saguru to come back to him. Only Shinichi had taken the phone and erased Saguru's number. Kaito had it memorized, but…still…there was a very good chance that Saguru had gotten a new phone and changed all of his information.

With a crestfallen sigh, Kaito turned his attention back to "The Little Prince".

It got progressively easier after that. The books were a very good distraction for the most part. There were some that he wasn't as fond of as others, but spending the day in the study with literary characters to keep him company was worlds better than sleeping or crying all alone. The best part was that after Kaito finished a book, he could talk to Shinichi about it. It made him feel closer to the other brunette (who was slowly becoming more and more attractive with every passing day.

Shinichi was wonderful, really, opening up his home to Kaito, caring for Kaito, putting up with Kaito. Shinichi was a saint. He was even going so far as to share his friends with the magician. Shinichi didn't have a whole lot of close friends their age, but it was fun going out with Ran, Sonoko, and the girls. Whenever Hattori and Kazuha were in town, Kaito was permitted to tag along too. Heck, Kaito even had fun on the days when Shinichi hung out with the Shounen Tanteidan and the Professor. Kaito was slowly getting back on his feet and putting himself out there.

It was a long process, though. Kaito had his good days and his bad ones, but they weathered them all together. Kaito had his breakdowns, but Shinichi stayed by his side.

One night Kaito was so lonely and intimacy-starved that he'd almost taken the spiked drink that the cute guy at the club had tried to give him. Shinichi, of course, had come to save the day, threatening the guy until he was scared for his life and then dragging Kaito home where the magician got a rather severe scolding and lecture.

Kaito had sat through it, staring down at his feet. When it seemed like Shinichi was done, he looked up through long false eyelashes and whispered, "Shinichi, I'm lonely."

The detective sighed, rolling his eyes before looking back at the magician. Shinichi took in the glitter and the makeup, the sweat and the leather and sighed again. He put a reassuring hand on Kaito's head, running it through the younger brunette's hair. "Yeah. I know, Kaito. I know, but you've got to treat yourself with more respect than that. Don't let people use you. Be patient."

It took a lot of willpower on Kaito's part not to throw himself at the detective, knocking them both to the floor as Kaito sucked Shinichi's lips clean off.

He shoved the primal urges down, simply standing and wrapping his arms around the slightly taller male. "Thanks, Shin-chan."

Shinichi gave him a reassuring pat on the back and then gave in and actually hugged Kaito, no matter how awkward it was. "It's okay. Hang in there."

…

Month one had been spent in mourning. Month two had been devoted to reading and distraction. Months three and four comprised going out, making friends, and socializing. In month five, Shinichi had helped Kaito get a job.

Six months after the disastrous breakup, things were going well, and Shinichi felt that Kaito was ready to move back out on his own.

"Are you going to be okay here?" Shinichi bit his lip as he stood in the doorway, not yet ready to leave Kaito alone.

"It's only for six months," Kaito mumbled. "I'll find some other place after the lease is up. I can't afford anything else right now, and it'd be a waste to just let this place sit empty any longer than it already has. I mean, Sa…Hakuba…did already pay up through the first…the first year."

"Okay." But still Shinichi remained standing in the doorway. "…Kaito…are you really sure you're going to be okay in this apartment? Look, I'll buy you a new apartment. You don't have to stay here. I want…I want to know that you're going to be okay."

Kaito smiled, a light blush rising to his cheeks as he ran up to Shinichi, jumping at the other man and throwing his arms around him in a tight hug. "You're the best, Shin-chan. Thanks for worrying about me."

Shinichi begrudgingly hugged Kaito back lightly. "So you're going to be okay if I leave you here alone?"

Kaito pulled back so that he was half an arm's length away, still loosely hanging off his crush. "I think so. You'll come check on me from time to time?"

"'Time to time'?" Shinichi snorted. "I'm calling you every day, and if you don't answer, I'm coming over here and breaking your door down."

Kaito laughed nervously, not knowing if he should be feeling warm and fuzzy or kind of freaked out. "That might be a little extreme, Shin-chan. You probably don't have to go that far."

Shinichi rolled his eyes. "Just make sure you pick up your phone."

Kaito nodded, letting go of the detective and taking a step back. "Thanks, Shinichi. For everything."

Shinichi looked away, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "You're welcome. Just…know that you're always welcome at my house, if you ever just want to drop by. I don't even have to be there; you've got a key, so you can just let yourself in, Kaito. The study is there for you whenever you need it, so…don't be a stranger, okay?"

"Okay," Kaito replied, absolutely glowing. Maybe for just that moment he'd let himself forget about Mouri Ran and let himself believe that Shinichi could feel the same way for him.

…

Mikau: This was fun to write. I seem to like depressed Kaito, and it was interesting putting Shinichi in a caretaker role. I hope you could feel that it was awkward for him at first but then he kind of grew into it. Next chapter will be back in the present as a continuation of the events of chapter one, but I really wanted to put this backstory chapter in here to establish Hakuba's perspective of the breakup before he shows up in subsequent chapters. I also kind of wanted to give you guys a view of the history of Kaito and Shinichi's relationship and how their friendship developed. Again, I hope you guys enjoyed it. Do let me know what you thought. Thanks for reading guys! Have a great day!


	3. Developing a Routine

Mikau: Hello there! Yes, I know I said updates would be slow, but depressed Kaito has been bothering me lately saying how he'd really like it if I could hurry up and give him his happy ending already. And so this week you get a Healing Process chapter instead of a Roses chapter. Sorry about that. Roses should be back next week. Anyway, just to clarify, we're back in the present now, dealing with the aftermath of chapter one. Do enjoy! (P.S: Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed last chapter: patternleap, Bunnyz-chan, RyomaLovers, Baked Soap, and foreverandeveralone. I'm glad this fic is receiving so much support!)

Disclaimer: If I owned it, every once in a while it actually would be lupus. Oh wait. Wrong show.

…

Chapter Three: Developing a Routine

Shinichi was kind of surprised to find that Kaito really didn't have a whole lot of stuff in his apartment. In fact, the magician had failed to accumulate much in the two and a half/three years since Shinichi had helped Kaito sort through his belongings and rid himself of everything that reminded him of Hakuba just a few months after "the divorce".

"You…don't own much," the detective summarized, noting that items that Kaito had received from Shinichi made up a lot of what Kaito had collected the past few years.

Kaito shrugged sheepishly. "I mean…it wasn't all that long ago that…that Hakuba and I broke up, so…I haven't had a lot of time to get more stuff."

Shinichi refrained from remarking that three years was a very long time indeed. Instead he commented on a 3D brain teaser puzzle that had been sitting on the nightstand next to Kaito's bed. "I gave this to you for your birthday the year before last, didn't I?"

Kaito turned to look and smiled at the little elephant puzzle. "Yeah. The rest are in the drawer, but that one was my favorite, so I left it out. It took me the longest," the former thief admitted. "I couldn't figure out what the hell it was supposed to be at first. Funny. It was easy enough to take apart all the other puzzles, but putting together a wooden elephant puzzle…I don't know why it gave me so much trouble."

Shinichi didn't miss the slight twitch of Kaito's lips that told the detective that his boyfriend was lying. Though, what he couldn't figure out was why Kaito would lie about something so trivial as why he'd had trouble putting together a puzzle.

Kaito saw the look on his sleuth's face and knew that Shinichi was on to him. With a sigh, Kaito went over to sit down on the bed in front of Shinichi, grabbing the little elephant and initiating a staring contest with it.

"I can't get anything past you, can I, Meitantei? The real reason it took me weeks to put the elephant together?" Kaito smiled wryly. "Well, first of all, it _was_ kind of a tough puzzle. There were a lot of little pieces, and I really didn't know what I was putting together until I was about three hours into it. Once I realized it was an elephant…I didn't want to put it together anymore. I wanted to throw it away, but I couldn't because it was something that you had given me. I didn't want it to be an elephant."

"You…don't like elephants?" Shinichi hazarded a guess, knowing that he was missing the key piece of the puzzle.

Kaito shook his head, giving up on his staring contest and letting his hands and the elephant drop to hang between his knees. He looked up at Shinichi and smiled sadly. "Saguru has had a stuffed elephant since he was a little kid. It's like his security blanket; it even travels between England and Japan with him. I used to tease him about it all the time, but…he'd put it by my pillow to watch over me when I was sick, and I used to snuggle with it whenever he was late coming home from a case at night. I used to hide it from him just to watch him flip. After I retired, I'd send out heist notes for the elephant, evade all of the traps and 'security' measures he'd put in place, steal the elephant, and leave him hints and riddles about where to find it…." Kaito hurriedly wiped the tears from his eyes in embarrassment. "Sorry. I know it's stupid, but—"

"—It's not stupid," Shinichi assured authoritatively, sitting down on the bed next to Kaito and putting an arm lightly around the other young man's shoulders. "It's normal to mourn the loss of a relationship and all the little things that went along with it. Obviously the elephant and the memories connected to it meant something to you. That's not stupid, Kaito."

"Thanks," the magician whispered, letting his head tilt to rest on Shinichi's shoulder.

After a minute, Shinichi asked, "So…what made you finally decide to put the elephant puzzle together anyway?"

Slowly a line of sunset scarlet spread across Kaito's cheeks and the bridge of his nose. "I really missed the elephant plushie, and I thought that…you know…this would be different, but…it'd be…be _our_ elephant…yours and mine."

Shinichi chuckled fondly at his little magician but rushed to explain for fear that Kaito might take the laughter the wrong way. "You're really cute, Kaito."

Kaito's blush deepened, and the magician tried to hide his face by burying it in Shinichi's shoulder. "Shut up," the embarrassed magician squeaked.

Shinichi's laughter suddenly stopped when he realized that Kaito could have completed "their" elephant as long as two years ago. Meaning that Kaito had had feelings for Shinichi a lot longer than the dense detective had originally guessed.

Kaito lifted his head, looking concerned. "I didn't actually mean you had to shut up."

Shinichi forced a smile to his lips as he shoved aside this disconcerting new knowledge. "Sorry. I was just thinking about something."

Kaito's expression soured. "That's never good. I can guess what the majority of your thoughts has to do with, and I don't like it. Don't think about work when you're holding me. It's icky."

This got a genuine laugh out of our detective. "No, no. I promise I wasn't. I was just…wondering if our elephant had a name. Does he?"

"Oh." A bit of the blush came back to Kaito's face. "Uh…she. Her name's Rose. It kind of goes along with Sa…Hakuba's elephant's name, but…I thought Rose was a good name for her."

Shinichi nodded, noting the beautiful auburn shade of the wood. "Yeah. I like it. I think it's fitting…. Ready to do some packing, Kaito?"

With a little noise of assent, Kaito stood, and the boys got down to work moving Kaito out of the apartment full of bad memories.

It didn't take long to get everything into boxes. Most of it was clothing and gadgets that Kaito used for tricks. Some of the auxiliary and truly superfluous items were put in a box for donations or thrown away.

It all came down to five medium cardboard boxes—three less than what Kaito had moved in with.

Kaito looked at all of his earthly possessions with a sigh, thinking that this was all he had to show: two boxes of clothes, two boxes of magic, and one box of odds and ends he'd hoarded while lusting after a man he'd thought he could never have.

"What's the matter?" Shinichi hesitantly asked, his boyfriend's sigh making him feel uneasy.

Kaito shook his head. "It's nothing…. I just…I don't have a lot of stuff, do I?"

"No," Shinichi agreed, eyeing the boxes. "Is that bad?"

"I used to have a lot of stuff." Kaito shifted uncomfortably. "There's so little of it left…. I used to have a lot of things that I don't anymore…. Just ten years ago I was fifteen, and I had…I had…a lot of things that I don't have now…objects…ideas…people…. Now…all of my stuff fits in five cardboard boxes."

Shinichi could see where this was going, and he didn't like it. "Maybe all of your material items fit in five boxes, but _I_ certainly don't. Neither does your mom nor the gang nor the pipsqueak squad nor our police friends nor your job nor your hobbies nor that stray cat you feed—well, maybe that one would fit but—nor _you_ for that matter. Kaito, crazy contortionist you may be, but not even you could fit in one of those boxes and stay there forever. Your stuff is in those boxes, but your life can't be defined or restrained by them." Shinichi bit his lip and looked Kaito in the eye. "Get it?"

Kaito, who was staring at him in wide-eyed amazement, nodded.

"Good." Shinichi looked away as a blush colored his cheeks. "If it still bothers you, I'll buy you all the junk and knickknacks you want."

With a smile, Kaito placed a kiss on the underside of Shinichi's jaw. The look in his eyes said everything: "I love you. I love you with everything that I am. I wouldn't make it without you."

Shinichi's blush deepened, and, still not looking, he reached out and pulled Kaito into a one-armed hug. "It's okay. I mean, it's better this way, isn't it? It makes moving easier, and…and this way, there's nothing holding you down. You don't have any physical baggage, so you've already got a head start on a fresh start…on making a life with me."

Kaito laughed like a child, full of mirth, as he squeezed Shinichi tight. "You're wonderful, Shin-chan."

Shinichi's heart sped up, and he began to think that being with another guy might not be all that bad…so long as it was Kaito.

…

"So…I'm moving back into the guestroom, I'd wager?" Kaito inquired, not holding his breath for an invitation into Shinichi's bed.

"Yes and no," Shinichi returned as he lugged the last of the boxes into the foyer. He set down his load and straightened up to look Kaito in the eye. "You're not a guest. It's not a 'guestroom' anymore. You live here, and that's _your_ room, Kaito."

"Y-Yeah?" Kaito chuckled nervously, blushing as he looked away and tucked a strand of hair behind his ear.

"Yeah," Shinichi confirmed, grabbing a different box and transporting it up the stairs and to the right, into the former guestroom. "You can do what you want with it. Paint it. Doddle on the walls. Hang posters. Put nails in the walls and hang pictures. I don't care what you do so long as you don't blow the place up or knock a wall down or anything. It's _your_ room."

"But…can you really do that? Give me the room, I mean. Isn't this your parents' house?" Kaito asked with big doe eyes, his head tilting adorably to the left.

Shinichi nearly fell over. Oh yeah. He'd forgotten about them. Suddenly he felt a migraine coming on. Shinichi facepalmed with a sigh. "Kaito, I think they'll be too excited about my first _boy_friend to care about the room. At least my mom anyway. Dammit."

Kaito blinked, cocking his head in the opposite direction. He sent Shinichi a curious look. "Will that…will that be too big of a nuisance?"

"No, no," Shinichi rushed to assure. "No, not at all. It's fine, it's just…you've met my mother…. You two are a lot alike."

Kaito nodded noncommittally, not sure if he'd just been insulted.

"No! I mean…you're both…very enthusiastic," Shinichi waffled. He bit his lip, and the two looked at each other in awkward silence for a moment until Shinichi finally suggested, "How about you start unpacking. I'll go get more boxes."

"Sure." Kaito gave Shinichi an out before the detective put his foot any further down his throat and choked on it.

Kaito began work on one of the boxes of clothes, deciding to color coordinate his closet just because he now had the opportunity to do so. He chewed absentmindedly on the inside of his cheek as he let the events of the past twenty-four hours flow through his mind like river water through a sieve.

He had to ask himself what the hell he was even doing there. This was all a mistake. Poor Shinichi. Kaito felt like such a con sneaking into Shinichi's life like this. The guy didn't even like Kaito like that. This was all a terrible misunderstanding, and if Shinichi ever found out the truth…Kaito feared he might find himself out on the street and out a best friend.

He sighed and tried to focus on what Shinichi had told him that morning. Shinichi had said that he needed Kaito to help him get over Ran, right? Right. At least Kaito's presence was serving some purpose. Shinichi had even said that he might be able to come to have feelings for Kaito, given time. So he didn't find the magician totally repulsive. Good. That was good.

But still…Shinichi still viewed Kaito as little more than a close friend. Kaito could tell that the detective was pushing himself to be warm and attentive, but it was obvious that Shinichi's affections were not natural or spontaneous. At least Shinichi was trying, though.

Just then Shinichi came back with another box.

"Look. About what I said about my parents finding out…" the detective started, rubbing the back of his neck as he searched for the right words.

"We don't have to tell them," Kaito volunteered. "I know it'd be a hassle and really embarrassing to introduce me as your boyfriend when you don't actually feel that way for me. I know your mom will make a big deal out of it, so, if you want, we can just tell them…tell them I'm having another breakdown or something." Kaito averted his eyes, not wanting to see the look of relief that was sure to wash over Shinichi's face.

Kaito was surprised when the detective was suddenly standing right behind him, resting a comforting hand between Kaito's shoulder blades.

"Yet," Shinichi added. "When I don't feel that way for you…_yet_. You left out an important word, masochistic idiot. And it's not a hassle. Yes, my mother is going to coo and take pictures and pinch my cheeks and say embarrassing stuff like 'Remember to use protection!' or something about grandbabies or something in that annoying upper register of hers, but… Kaito, we may not be very far along in our relationship, but we are a real couple. You _are_ my boyfriend, and I'm going to tell my parents the truth about you. No matter how loudly my mother is going to squeal. Okay?"

Kaito smiled and nodded, not trusting his voice. These past twenty-four hours were bad for his heart. He went from the depths of despair to the highest heavens back down to hell and then right back up again. He was so happy and angsty all at the same time.

He loved this, and yet, he felt like he didn't deserve it. Once again he was a thief. This time he had stolen Mouri-chan's place in Shinichi's life…stolen Shinichi himself from her.

"So…we're cool?" Shinichi double checked.

Kaito nodded, pressing an appreciative kiss to Shinichi's jaw for the second time that day.

Shinichi tussled the magician's usually untidy hair. "I'm going to get the last two boxes. Don't overthink anything while I'm gone."

"Okay," Kaito chuckled, picking a light green shirt out of the box he had been working on.

"Then I'll help you unpack, and we can get some late lunch. Sound good?" Shinichi proposed.

"Un!" Kaito agreed enthusiastically.

…

After everything was unpacked and they'd had a nice lunch of sandwiches and fruit, Shinichi and Kaito curled up on the couch in the study with their respective books. Gradually, Kaito dared to inch closer and closer to Shinichi until his body was just barely brushing the detective's.

Shinichi, who had been ignoring Kaito's antics up until that point, finally turned and gave the magician a quizzical expression. "What are you doing?"

Kaito tensed. "Uh. Sorry. I was just—"

"—Lie down," Shinichi instructed, turning back to the pages.

Kaito blinked slowly, his head tipping to the side in confusion. "Huh?"

"Lie down," Shinichi repeated evenly, patting his thigh.

Kaito blinked again, wondering if he were hallucinating. "You want me to put my head in your lap?"

This time Shinichi blinked as he lowered his book and actually looked at Kaito. The puzzled expression on his face was absolutely precious. "Isn't that what couples do? You don't have to, if you don't want, but…if you didn't want to snuggle or something like that, why were you sidling up to me the way you were?"

A small grin came to Kaito's lips. "So…it's okay if I lay my head in your lap?"

Shinichi looked back to the book in embarrassment and a little bit of frustration. He was just trying to be a good boyfriend. Why did Kaito have to complicate things? "Do whatever you want," Shinichi mumbled.

Kaito had his head on Shinichi's lap in two seconds flat. The magician grinned happily and began to hum as he flipped open the book he had only sort of kind of been reading. He'd been too distracted by Shinichi.

"Stop that," Shinichi objected to the humming, poking Kaito's cheek.

"'Kay," Kaito sang and stopped obediently. He didn't want to ruin it when he had such a good thing going.

After a while, Shinichi started to relax and even went so far as to set his hand casually on Kaito's head and begin to give Kaito's scalp a massage.

Kaito closed his eyes and purred, every once in a while giving Shinichi an appreciative little mew of pleasure. He must have fallen asleep at some point because the next thing he knew Shinichi was nudging him awake.

"Hungry? It's time to make dinner," Shinichi informed, closing his own book and laying it down on the stand beside the couch.

Kaito nodded and sat up with a big stretch and yawn.

They made curry together, and after dinner they headed upstairs to get ready for bed.

…

It was still dark when Kaito woke up, but, sure enough, his alarm clock did read eight thirty when he checked a second time. As the haze of sleep left him and the world came into sharper focus, Kaito realized that he could hear rain tapping at the windows like pebbles.

It was most likely cold and wet outside—a combination Kaito was not fond of. _Hot_ and wet—now that was another story entirely. He would give anything to be hot and wet at the moment. It was a shame that his "boyfriend" probably didn't share that sentiment.

What would Shinichi do if Kaito attempted to crawl into his bed? Probably kick him and tell him to keep his hands to himself. Or…maybe Kaito's luck would hold out and he'd be permitted to stay and snuggle. Shinichi had been warming up to Kaito lately, trying his hardest to be a good boyfriend.

Kaito really had to hand it to the detective: for not having feelings for Kaito, Shinichi sure was faking it well. Shinichi did really care about him, though. Kaito knew that. It wasn't the way Kaito wanted Shinichi to feel for him, but it was better than nothing, and Kaito certainly appreciated the lengths to which Shinichi was going for a friend.

Kaito rolled over and looked at the clock again, only Rose the elephant caught his eye first. In her trunk she held a little notecard. Kaito raised an eyebrow as he took the note from the little pachyderm.

"Good morning, Sunshine," it started.

Kaito had to laugh because Shinichi was obviously feeling snarky and sarcastic this lovely morning.

"It looks like your smile might be the only glimpse I get of sunlight today."

Kaito's face went up in a flaming blush. He knew Shinichi was forcing himself to be sweet, but Kaito was beginning to not really care because Kudo Shinichi had actually just written that sappy, romantic crap for Kaito's sake!

"The NHK weathermen say it's going to be sucky all day. Go figure. So if you go out, don't forget an umbrella! I don't want you getting sick. (Read as: I don't want to have to take care of an idiot with a cold. Wait. Do you even get colds?)"

Kaito had to chuckle at this one. "Why, Tantei-kun. You really do care, don't you?"

He played around with the idea of going out to play in the puddles to see if he could catch a cold. It'd be nice to have Shinichi nursing him back to health. He pushed the thought away in favor of going back to Shinichi's message.

"Anyway, I got called out on a case early this morning (Again, go figure). Breakfast and lunch are ready for you; you just have to heat some stuff up. (You can use a microwave, can't you? I mean, not even _you_ are _that_ helpless.)"

Kaito rolled his eyes. He secretly liked it when Shinichi teased and bullied. To other people, it might come across as mean or borderline verbally abusive, but Kaito knew that the detective only baited, badgered, and belittled because he cared. Anyone else Shinichi would be fairly proper and polite with. You knew Shinichi truly cared about you when he dropped the pretenses and told you flat out that you were a moron. Shinichi's insults to Kaito's intelligence only meant that he worried.

"So make sure you eat," Shinichi's memo continued. "I told Rose to keep an eye on you, so I'll know if you eat or not. Don't think I won't. I bribed that elephant with peanuts to get her to spy on you, so don't think she won't tattle."

Kaito eyed the little elephant in suspicion. "Traitor. You'd seriously sell me out for peanuts, Rose? I thought we had a relationship built on mutual trust and understanding. Fickle, fickle Rose. How fast you turn. …It's okay. I like your Daddy better too, but just remember that Mommy was the one that made you. Mommy painstakingly brought you into existence. Mommy was the one that labored over you for hours on end. Seriously. Do you know how long it took me to put you together, Rose?"

"I can't help it. Daddy's hot…and I like peanuts." Rose didn't answer in so many words, but Kaito had this feeling that, if she could respond, that was what she would say.

"Daddy is pretty hot," Kaito mused. "Hmm…" He shook his head to clear his thoughts and then went back to the note.

"I don't know when I'll be home, but if you need anything, the Professor and Haibara are right next door. Go eat dinner with them if I'm really late. Have a good day, Kaito, and remember to have a smile waiting for me when I get home. I have a feeling it's going to be a pretty grim day, so I'll probably need it."

Kaito put the note down on his nightstand and forced himself to get up and get dressed. He didn't particularly feel like eating a full meal. Generally he snacked on this and that throughout the day, never actually stopping for the three square meals he was supposed to be getting. Maybe that was why he was so thin and short. He hadn't eaten properly when he was a growing boy, and now he was but a slip of a young man.

Kaito didn't feel like eating, but…Shinichi had made him breakfast. SHINICHI had made _him_ breakfast. Shinichi had _made_ him breakfast.

In the fridge was a little bowl of miso, some rice, some fruit, and a sweet tofu dish all ready and waiting for Kaito to eat them, and the magician would be damned if he wasn't going to eat at least half of everything that his wonderful boyfriend had taken the time to make for him before rushing off to some grizzly murder scene at some ungodly hour of the morning in the pouring February rain.

As Kaito suspected, he was unable to finish the majority of the meal, but he rewrapped it all and put it back in the fridge until Breakfast Part Two two hours later.

The storm only worsened as the day wore on, so Kaito stayed indoors and busied himself with a new magic trick he'd been working on lately. That managed to pass a few hours, and then he had lunch: croquettes (one crab and one kabocha), a no-frills salad, some mixed fruit slices, and a little cup of flan for dessert. Like with breakfast, Kaito broke up his meal into two parts, since his stomach just wasn't used to receiving adequate amounts of nutrition.

It was about three o'clock when Shinichi called to ask about Kaito's day and to say that he'd probably be home by seven.

"So go eat dinner with the Professor and Haibara, okay?" the detective instructed, sounding utterly exhausted. It must be a truly challenging or heinous case to have Shinichi sounding so drained.

"I'll wait and have dinner with you," Kaito replied, wanting to eat with his crush. "I'll make you something. What do you want?"

"Kaito, you don't cook," Shinichi informed him. There was a fond eye roll in his voice.

"Even I could make something simple like…like onigiri," Kaito argued with a bit of a pout.

"Don't worry about it, Kaito. Go eat dinner next door," Shinichi urged, not wanting Kaito to have to go through the trouble. "I'll have cereal or something when I get in."

"…Okay," Kaito finally replied, even though he had no intention of relenting.

"I'll see you when I get home, Kaito. Make sure you eat dinner," Shinichi stressed, sounding a whole lot like a mom.

"I will. Don't work too hard, Shin-chan."

"Thanks," Shinichi replied with a tired smile.

The call ended, and Kaito knew what he had to do in order to win Shinichi's heart. Kaito had to learn how to cook. In order to be of use to Shinichi, Kaito had to become a homemaker. If he could create a place of refuge from all of the murder and evil in the world for Shinichi to come home to…if Kaito could make a haven where Shinichi could go at the end of another day of debacles and debauchery…Kaito would have a place in Shinichi's life. Kaito would have a purpose.

It'd been so long since he'd had a purpose…a goal. It'd been since Pandora. Sure, there was always the dream of becoming a famous magician and living happily ever after with his husband/wife and five kids, three dogs, two cats, white picket fence, and minivan, but…this seemed like a concrete step in the right direction towards the life that Kaito wanted.

And so he shoved his phone in his pocket and headed for the library to try to find some cookbooks. He was really hoping that there was one entitled "How to Make All of Shinichi's Favorites for Complete Idiots".

…

It was six o'clock in the morning, and Shinichi really felt like murdering his phone for waking him up with its incessant vibrating. He'd put the phone on silent, so why wasn't it being silent?

With a low growl from deep within his throat he rolled over and reached out a hand to paw at the mobile until he succeeded in obtaining it.

"Hello?" If it had been anyone else calling, they would have immediately hung up in terror at Shinichi's venom-dripping, blood-curdling snarl.

"Good morning, Kudo. I'm terribly sorry to bother you at such an early hour." But then, Hakuba Saguru was used to dealing with pre-coffee Shinichi. "There's been a case, and Megure-keibu wishes to bring you in. It's fairly high-profile."

"Is it a murder? If someone's dead, they can wait until nine o'clock—a decent hour of the morning," Shinichi snorted, kicking off the covers and dragging his feet out of bed.

"Kidnapping," Hakuba replied gravely. "Someone broke into a home and snatched a child right out of bed. We have a note the kidnapper left saying that they would call with their demands at seven o'clock. Forensics is doing a preliminary investigation to see if we can't get some kind of trace or fingerprint evidence, and I've looked the scene over myself, but…apparently I'm not good enough. Megure wants you."

"Yes, yes. Kudo Shinichi—the much sainted Tokyo PD's golden boy. Right," Shinichi sighed. Sometimes he wished that Division One would just accept Hakuba already. "Give me the address, and I'll be over in an hour. I have to make breakfast first."

Hakuba's brow furrowed. "You mean coffee? Don't you usually grab a piece of toast, make some coffee and come right over? Since when do you take time to take care of yourself in the face of a case? Are you sick, Kudo?"

Shinichi rolled his eyes. Sure he could go days on coffee alone when he was working on a case, but he wasn't that bad…was he? "Not _my_ breakfast, Kaito's," he grumbled without thinking. His brain still wasn't functioning at full capacity. He hadn't had coffee yet.

"K-Kaito?" Hakuba stuttered, that dreamy tone to his voice. He said the name as if it were sacred. "Is Kaito staying with you again? Is he alright? How is he? He hasn't had another breakup, has he? I thought you said he wasn't dating anyone! You haven't gone and let him go to bars to be picked up by random sleazebags, have you? You're supposed to be taking care of him! We both know he's a miserable failure at caring for himself. Has he—"

"—Which is why I'm making him breakfast and lunch before I go," Shinichi cut in before the tirade could go on for hours. "How's your wife, Hakuba?"

Shinichi could almost hear the gears in Hakuba's head grind to a halt as Shinichi threw that monkey wrench in.

"…My wife? Fine, I should think. How is Kaito?" the police detective demanded.

"That ceased being your business nearly three years ago. I'll see you in an hour." Shinichi hung up in a huff.

Sometimes he really despised that blonde git. What right did he think he had to even say Kaito's name after what Hakuba had done? Sometimes Shinichi wanted to hit the guy…with a sack of bricks.

At the same time, Shinichi kind of felt sorry for the dumb blonde. Hakuba still truly loved Kaito with all his heart. He often asked about how the magician was doing and requested that Shinichi do this or that for Kaito. It was uncanny, Hakuba's ability to determine exactly when Kaito would run out of some key item. Whenever Hakuba sent Shinichi over with something, Kaito would always remark that he had just used the last of his.

Hakuba continued to pay some of Kaito's bills in secret. Shinichi didn't think Kaito was aware that you had to pay for the water or electricity that you used, the fee for the garbage disposal, or even the NHK payment. Hakuba called it alimony—spousal support.

Shinichi felt bad for the blonde—obviously he and Kaito suited each other. They had a very symbiotic relationship. It was frankly kind of tragic that Hakuba had given Kaito up (supposedly for Kaito's own sake) only for Kaito to end up miserable and Hakuba to end up with a woman who Hakuba freely admitted had married him out of spite for Kaito more than anything.

Sure, there was some genuine affection there, but Aoko had agreed to the union in order to assist in her climb to the position of Superintendent of the Tokyo Metropolitan Police and to get back at her once best friend who she believed had lied, cheated, and utterly betrayed her.

Funny how secrets had torn the once loving relationship between Aoko and Kaito apart just as they had with Ran and Shinichi himself.

Shinichi was about halfway through making Kaito's food for the day when he realized that he had never gotten the address from Hakuba. He sighed, hanging his head as it dawned upon him that he would have to swallow his pride, push down his anger, and call the Brit back.

…

It was an absolutely horrible day—the worst Shinichi had had in a long time. First of all, it was cold and wet and gloomy. Second of all, Hakuba was grumpy and insistent. That meant that Shinichi was pestered and prodded until he spilled the details of Kaito's condition. Stupid stalkerish ex-husband. Thirdly, the parents of the kidnapped child were panicky and uncooperative. Fourth, the kidnapper got grouchy when he realized the police were involved. Fifth, the kidnapper found the bugs that had been put in with the ransom money. And sixth, even though the money had been paid, the kid must have seen the kidnapper's face; they found the kidnapper's truck, and inside was the little boy's body.

Tons of paperwork and a veritable manhunt ensued. They caught the guy—one of the servants, of course—but that didn't bring the boy back to his parents. Another innocent life snuffed out in pursuit of greed.

By the end of the day, the whole team was soaked, starving, and utterly disheartened. The boy's death weighed heavily on their shoulders, and it was absolutely draining.

It was seven twenty by the time that Shinichi dragged himself through the front door of the Kudo Manor, letting out a weary, "I'm home."

"Welcome back!" Kaito sang happily, bounding up to Shinichi with a bright and cheery grin. "Rough day, Honey?"

With a very weak smile, Shinichi nodded, shrugging his drenched coat off.

With an elaborate gesture, Kaito magicked a big, fluffy towel out of thin air and draped it over Shinichi's shoulders. He pulled it up over Shinichi's head and ruffled the private eye's hair dry.

"I made you dinner," Kaito added softly as he wrapped the towel back around Shinichi's shoulders. "Nothing special—just some steamed rice with veggies and egg. I figured it would be better than cereal. I don't really cook, so, if it tastes bad, you don't have to eat it…."

Kaito continued, rambling on as Shinichi looked at Kaito's hands, still resting unconsciously on Shinichi's shoulders, loosely holding the towel in place. Kaito's fingers had more than a few bandages on them—covering burns and cuts.

A magician's hands were his livelihood—precious tools vital to his art. Even in his state of fatigue, Shinichi could appreciate what an act of love Kaito's making him dinner was.

Shinichi leaned in and brushed his lips to Kaito's temple, effectively shutting the magician up. "If you made it for me, I'm sure it'll taste wonderful. Thank you, Kaito."

"Y-You're welcome." Kaito began to beam. "Uh…you'll probably want to take a shower first. You go on in. I'll bring you a fresh towel and some pajamas to change into."

Suddenly Shinichi's day wasn't seeming quite so bad. Sure, it had sucked royally up until that point, but things were starting to look up. At least he got to come home to a warm meal and someone who loved him. Kaito's grin had done a great deal to warm Shinichi's chilled bones.

Before, Shinichi would have come home, peeled off his sopping clothes, eaten some cereal, crawled into bed, and woken up with a cold the next morning. Not a pleasant experience. Now, Kaito was there to greet him, to make him dinner, to cuddle on the couch with him afterwards (if you could call the awkward way they sat together cuddling)….

Shinichi was beginning to like this whole boyfriend thing. Sure, Kaito was no Ran, but he had his own charm points that might end up being just as good.

…...

Mikau: Question: anybody recognize Hakuba's elephant plushie? When I was fifteen and actually read fanfiction, I used to love an author called Icka M. Chif. She's not on ff anymore, but I think she's still around. She had Hakuba have an elephant plushie called Sir Stinky that I had a certain amount of affection for. Alluded to completely without permission.

Anyway, I feel like there's some really good chemistry between Shinichi and Kaito in this fic. They're so awkward and cute, but they're playing really nice with each other for me lately. Usually they fight me a little more, so this has been good. Look forward to next chapter where the bond between the two is tested when Ran comes back. Because apparently she didn't know that she and Shinichi had officially broken up. Yes. Think about that and wait in anticipation for another week. Sorry. I'm a little evil, aren't I? I promise that I do in fact love you guys. And Kaito. Poor Kaito. What am I doing to him? Anyway, thanks so much for reading, and please leave me a review and let me know what you thought.


	4. Getting Closer

Mikau: Hi guys! I had some free time on Tuesday and got really inspired to work on this, so you get another chapter this week! That being said, I don't believe I'll be updating HP again on Monday like usual, but…this is going a lot faster than I expected, so it shouldn't be too long before you get chapter five. Another thing, I know I told you the confrontation with Ran would be happening this chapter, but Kaito didn't like that idea. When I told him, he puffed up his cheeks and pouted, "But I wanna go dancing! I haven't even had my first date with Shin-chan yet, and you're already trying to screw up and complicate our relationship?!" Seriously. He is seriously driving this fic, and he wanted to go dancing. And he dances like a slut, so mild warnings for dirty dancing in this chapter. I did manage to start getting some of the issues with Ran brought up, though. The actual confrontation will be next chapter for sure this time. Until then, enjoy! Also, many thanks to everyone for reviewing, and special thanks to the reviewers from last chapter: Bunnyz-chan, MeitanteiRose x2, patternleap, DetectivePandaThief, foreverandeveralone, and Eyeinthesky.

Disclaimer: If I owned it, we'd be in trouble because Aoyama-sensei has infinitely better control over the characters than I do. Kaito has been going on a rampage in my fics lately, doing whatever he wants without my permission.

…

Chapter Four: Getting Closer

Kaito learned to use the coffeemaker, and Shinichi decided that he was in love. Ran had never let him have coffee when they lived together. Of course, Ran had believed him to be a little kid at the time, but that was beside the point.

Shinichi had been working late on a case, pouring over files and typing furious search queries into the police database. It was nearly two in the morning, and Shinichi almost jumped when Kaito set the mug down on his desk.

"S-Sorry. I didn't mean to startle you," Kaito apologized sheepishly, backing away. "Sorry to bother you, Shin-chan. I just thought…you might like some coffee, so I…I read the instruction manual and used the coffeemaker."

Shinichi blinked, looking stupidly back and forth between Kaito and the coffee mug. He cocked his head to the side and reached out to pick up the mug. He took a sip and moaned as delicious goodness flowed over his lips and danced on his tongue.

"Maybe I should read the instructions," Shinichi laughed. "I thought I knew how to make coffee, but…are you sure we're using the same machine? My coffee never tastes like _that_. Would you consider quitting your job and becoming my full-time barista?"

Kaito rolled his eyes, grinning the whole time, glowing at Shinichi's praise. "The Hakubas didn't put me through university for me to end up being a barista, but…how much does the job pay?"

"Room and board plus whatever spending money I can afford to give you on a PI's income?" Shinichi offered.

A sad expression came over Kaito's face. "Nah. I value my freedom too much. I don't ever want to be dependent on a man again because then, when they leave you, you can't stand up on your own. I want to be able to support myself independently of you."

Shinichi frowned, turning his chair so that he was facing the other brunette. "Kaito, I'm not going to leave you."

Kaito shrugged crossing his arms across his chest. "Yeah. Saguru used to tell me that too. The first time he slept with me, he promised me all sorts of things like he'd never leave me and we'd be together forever and he'd die for me…. Of course, we were nineteen at the time, and that was the first time either of us had had sex, but…my point is that you have no idea what the future has in store for us. You shouldn't make such big promises that you have no idea if you'll even be able to keep. It just hurts more when you can't deliver."

Shinichi stood, taking two strides to stand directly in front of Kaito with his hands on his hips. "Look. I get it, Kaito. I know you've had your 'happily ever after' taken away from you twice now, and I know you're probably feeling uneasy about our relationship because my feelings for you aren't all that strong yet, but…could you maybe try not to doubt me so much?"

Shinichi's expression softened as his arms fell down to his sides. "Listen…. Ran was kind of my everything, Kaito. I fought so hard for two whole years to get back to being me so that I could be with her. Part of it was for myself, but the major motivating factor while I was Conan was her tears. I put her through hell, and I fought each day to win back her smile. Now I feel like that was all in vain because, in the end, I lost what was truly important to me…. It was through my own fault and stupidity for lying to her for so long like that, but… You understand how I'm feeling right now, don't you?"

Kaito nodded, arms wrapping tighter around himself for comfort and protection.

"I'm vulnerable and lonely and devastated…devoid of hope. That's where I am right now, Kaito, but I'm trying really hard to be there for you and be a good boyfriend just like you are for me with your cleaning the house and your efforts to learn to cook. I think we could eventually be happy together, Kaito. It'll take some time and some work, but…we could be happy."

Shinichi reached out and took Kaito's hands in his own. "Do you think you could try a little optimism for me? I know you've got it in you. I remember when we were still playing cops and robbers, you used to get into hairy situations on a regular basis, and a couple of times I was along for the ride. We'd be staring death right in the face, and you'd tell me to relax…that everything would work out. Do you think you could give it a shot now? Do you think you could believe in me a little, Kaito? Believe that this time it's not going to be like the others?"

Shinichi gave Kaito's hands a little squeeze. "Come on. Laugh in the face of your doubts and make a deliberate choice to be happy with me."

Kaito looked up at Shinichi with frail, innocent trust shining in his eyes. He nodded, leaning in to kiss the underside of Shinichi's jaw. "I'll try," Kaito whispered, squeezing back.

"Good. Thank you," Shinichi chuckled. "And thanks for the coffee, Kaito."

Kaito pulled back and smiled. "I'm glad you liked it. If all else fails, maybe you'll keep me around for the coffee."

Shinichi rolled his eyes and gave Kaito's hair a good tussle before going back to his desk…and the coffee. "Oh, you're good for more than just coffee. Go to sleep, Kaito. It's two in the morning."

"You're still up," Kaito challenged.

"You've got work tomorrow that you actually have to go into the office for, right?" Shinichi didn't back down.

"Not until noon," Kaito returned the volley.

Shinichi rolled his eyes, turning back to the computer. "So if you go to bed now, you can get eight hours of sleep and still have two hours to get ready and get to work. Night, night, Kaito."

"Go to bed soon, Shin-chan," Kaito whispered, pressing a quick kiss to Shinichi's cheek. "Who'll take care of me, if you wear yourself out?"

Shinichi blinked. Kaito had a point. Shinichi couldn't work himself into the ground anymore. He had responsibilities. He had to take care of Kaito. "Just one more hour," he promised.

"Really?" It was obvious from his tone that Kaito didn't believe him. "You'll probably get caught up in your work and keep going straight through the night."

"…I'll set a timer," Shinichi conceded.

"Night, night, Shin-chan," Kaito chuckled, leaving the detective to his work.

…

Shinichi was asleep when Kaito got up, but, sure enough, breakfast was prepared and just waiting in the fridge for Kaito to warm things up. There was also a little sack lunch for Kaito to take with him.

It felt really good to take a homemade meal to the office. A lot of his coworkers had loving husbands and wives that made them special bentous every day; Kaito usually brought convenience store food (if anything), and he couldn't fight the feeling of…resentment? Bitterness? Jealousy? Depression more than anything.

He knew it was silly and childish, but he couldn't help but feel a sense of vindication when he was able to pull out his own homemade lunch as well. See everybody? I've got someone who cares about me too.

When Kaito came back a little after five, he found Shinichi at his desk, working single-mindedly away at some case or another.

"I'm home. Have you eaten?" Kaito called as unobtrusively as possible from the doorway, trying not to startle his boyfriend.

No such luck.

Shinichi jumped, but it only broke his concentration long enough for him to ask, "Welcome home. Sorry. What?"

Kaito just laughed, slinking into the room and up behind Shinichi. "You look like you've been working hard," he mused, placing his hands on Shinichi's shoulders and beginning to massage. "Have you eaten yet, Shin-chan?"

"Nuhgeh," Shinichi moaned, turning to goo at Kaito's touch.

"Geez, you're tense," Kaito purred, working the knots out.

"Mmmm," Shinichi hummed in pleasure as Kaito's hands moved up and down his neck and along his shoulders.

"Feel good?" Kaito giggled, giddy at this newfound power he had over Shinichi.

"Mmhmm," Shinichi confirmed, leaning into Kaito's touch. "There. Oh, there."

"Say please," Kaito teased, continuing to knead.

"Please," Shinichi pretended to beg, closing his eyes and just enjoying the sensations. "Please."

"You work too hard, you know," Kaito informed him quietly, rubbing away every ounce of tension in Shinichi's body. "You're just as bad as I am, aren't you? At taking care of yourself?"

"Un," Shinichi agreed, sighing in contentment.

"Have you eaten dinner yet?" Kaito asked a third time, moving up to massage Shinichi's scalp.

"No," Shinichi confessed.

"Want to make something together? Or did you maybe want to order carry-out?" Kaito suggested.

Shinichi opened his eyes and turned to look at Kaito. "You know, you've been living with me for a week now. We've been dating a whole week, and I've yet to take you on a single date."

Kaito blinked, lowering his hands. He shrugged. "That's okay. I mean…I don't really mind. We've been doing other stuff around the house like just hanging out and spending time together. I think that's just as important. I…I'm pretty low-maintenance, Shin-chan. You don't have to spend a whole lot of money on me."

"Yeah, but…" Shinichi frowned, shutting his laptop and getting to his feet. "We're a couple, and real couples go out on dates. I'm taking you out for dinner. What do you feel like having?"

Kaito scratched at his cheek sheepishly in thought. "Uh…anything really is fine. Not anything too expensive. I don't really feel like changing clothes. No sushi places…but you know better than that. How about…Colombo's? That's a nice place but not too bad price-wise. I like their food."

"And what should we do afterwards? See a movie? Go to an arcade? Go shopping?" Shinichi tried to plan out the evening.

Kaito shrugged. "Let's talk about it over dinner and see what we feel like then. I kind of like the element of spontaneity."

Shinichi agreed, and as soon as he combed his hair (which Kaito had disheveled slightly via head-rub) they were on their way.

The evening went unprecedentedly well. Dinner was marvelous, and the conversation had been good. Kaito had enjoyed a huge ice cream sundae for dessert while Shinichi ordered a little cup of lemon mousse (of which Kaito pilfered a bite).

"Thief," Shinichi teased, sticking out his tongue playfully.

Kaito returned the gesture, adding his own taunt, "Critic. Want some ice cream?"

Shinichi shook his head, ordering a caffè macchiato. "Too sweet."

After dinner, they did decide to hit up the arcade where Kaito smoked Shinichi at a game of air hockey. They went bowling afterwards and stopped by a sweets shop for yet another dessert for Kaito on the way home.

"You're going to get fat, you know," Shinichi snickered. "Only five more years until you're thirty, and then your metabolism is going to slow down."

"Jerk," Kaito hissed, savoring every bite of his tart. "Wanna bite?"

"Actually, yeah." The beautiful little pastry did look rather appetizing.

"Too bad," Kaito tittered.

Shinichi rolled his eyes, a sour look coming to his face. He should have figured.

"Here." With a smile, Kaito held out the tart.

Shinichi blinked and then tentatively reached out and took the pastry. "It's good. Really good," he announced, handing it back after he'd taken a bite.

"That shop makes them best," Kaito chuckled, nibbling happily as they went.

When they made it back to the Kudo Manor, Shinichi let out a little noise of wonder and amusement. "Hn."

Kaito cocked his head to the side, sending his boyfriend a quizzical look.

"Sorry," Shinichi chuckled, sheepishly rubbing at the back of his neck. "It's just…tonight was really nice. I mean…that's the first time in a long time that I've gone out without having to solve a murder. It was…you know…just…nice to be able to go out and have fun without having a body drop out of the sky."

"Seriously?" Kaito replied, eyes as wide as ostrich eggs. "Shin-chan, I don't think you've ever had to solve a case while we were out. Well, besides at Kid heists, but…I know you stumble across cases a lot, but…seriously?"

Shinichi shrugged as he stepped out of the way, opening the door for Kaito. "Seriously. I guess you cancel out my bad luck."

"Hn," Kaito hummed in reply.

…

That Friday night Sonoko sent out a mass text, trying to get a group together to go clubbing.

Kaito looked expectantly at Shinichi.

Shinichi sighed, easily giving in. "Oh, alright, but only if Ran's not going."

"I don't think Sonoko-chan would invite us, if Mouri-chan was. I mean…they're best friends. Sonoko-chan should know about the breakup by now. Mouri-chan probably called her that night," Kaito surmised.

Shinichi shrugged. "I don't know. Somehow I feel like Ran wouldn't just go around blabbing to everybody that I was Conan."

"Sonoko-chan isn't just anyone to Mouri-chan," Kaito argued. "They're _best friends_. Best friends tell each other everything." As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Kaito's expression darkened as he remembered his own best friend from childhood.

Shinichi rushed to nip that in the bud. "You're probably right. We'll go. What are you going to wear? I think that choker you wore last time looked good. The dog collar one?"

"Y-Yeah?" A cute blush started to color Kaito's cheeks.

"Yeah. I liked the way the light refracted off of the studs on it. It was a cool effect in the strobe lights," Shinichi kept going, trying to keep Kaito distracted.

"And what else should I wear?" Kaito purred, enjoying this game of dress up.

"Uh…probably leather pants. The ones with all of the belts…and…uh…that mesh shirt?" He'd seen Kaito wear that before…on nights when the magician was most desperate, albeit, but…

"Oh." An impish smirk spread wide across Kaito's face. "You mean my 'Come $&!% Me' outfit."

Shinichi's entire face went beet red. "Uh…is that what you call it?"

Kaito nodded slowly, the grin growing. "It works like a charm…only no one ever lets me go off with the people I lure in."

"Because you don't need to be going off with random strangers," Shinichi retorted.

"And that's the only reason I haven't had any for three years," Kaito grumbled under his breath.

"What about me?" Shinichi snorted. "I know I was too drunk to remember, but don't I count?"

Kaito blinked and laughed weakly. "Oh yeah. Yeah. I meant…you know…before that."

Shinichi rolled his eyes.

"Will you dance with me tonight, Shin-chan?" Kaito switched topics, giving his boyfriend the puppy-dog eyes.

Shinichi looked away, a light blush covering his face. "I'll consider it. Go get dressed."

"'Kay!" Kaito sang, skipping off to slutty himself up.

…

"Kid-sama!" Sonoko trilled, racing up to them and throwing her arms around Kaito.

"Sono-chan!" Kaito sang, picking her up and swinging her around before setting her down for a proper hug.

Shinichi just rolled his eyes, regretting ever introducing Kaito into his social circle. Sure, Sonoko and Kaito had seen each other around during college (and before that at Kid heists), but they hadn't begun spending any amount of time together until after the divorce when Shinichi had started bringing Kaito along to hang out with his own friends.

And then a beautiful, terrifying friendship between the former phantom and his groupie was born. They went shopping and called and texted and carried on like a bunch of teenage girls.

"Kai-chan! I'm so glad you could come! I haven't seen you in two weeks!" Sonoko squealed, drawing back so that she was loosely holding Kaito's hands. "Are you doing okay? You've sounded weird when I've talked to you lately."

Kaito shrugged, giving Sonoko's hands a light squeeze. "I'm…I'm okay. Thanks, Sonoko-chan."

At this the young heiress frowned, sticking her lips out in a pout. "You don't sound okay. It's because you're still living in that gloomy little apartment. You know, if you want, you can move in with me. My house is big enough, and there are plenty of servants to take care of you there. You don't take care of yourself well enough," she accused.

"Actually," Kaito chuckled, letting go of one hand so that he could rub the back of his neck sheepishly. "I moved back in with Shin-chan just the other week."

Sonoko's frown deepened. "Why? Are you okay? What happened? You didn't collapse again, did you?!"

"No, no. Nothing like that." Kaito smiled and looked to Shinichi to break their exciting news.

Shinichi blinked, completely at a loss as to what Kaito wanted him to say.

Sonoko looked at Shinichi expectantly. "So?"

Shinichi blinked rapidly, looking between his boyfriend and the blonde. "What?"

Kaito's mood instantly deflated. Were they not telling their friends about their relationship? "Uh…Shinichi's just…taking care of me for a while. Like you said, I don't take good enough care of myself, so…"

Sonoko nodded, seeming to accept this. "Okay. Well, if you need anything, just let me know." She turned and headed for the club entrance. "About four or five of the other girls said that they'd meet us here. None of the guys could show, though."

The gang was already inside at a table not too far away from the bar and with a good view of the dance floor. They waved them over, all giving Kaito hugs and/or kisses on the cheek.

Shinichi sometimes forgot what a ladies' man Kaito was.

They made no delay in dragging him out on the dance floor, leaving Sonoko and Shinichi to guard the drinks and get some of their own.

"Come dance with me, Sono-chan!" Kaito begged, resisting as the other girls pulled him away.

Sonoko rolled her eyes and smiled. "Kaito, I need some alcohol in me before I get out there and dance like you do. I'll join you later."

Kaito pouted but allowed himself to be taken away.

Sonoko ordered a mimosa for herself from the bar and brought back two bottles of beer for Shinichi. "So…two things I want to talk about with you. Kaito and Ran. They're both acting weird," she announced as she set the drinks down on the table in front of him. "What do you know?" the heiress demanded.

Shinichi paled, reaching out and grabbing one of the bottles to buy himself time.

Sonoko put her hand over his, holding the bottle in place as she glared at him.

Shinichi sighed. "Fine, Suiri Queen. Can't get anything past you. Let's start with Ran. Didn't she call you on Valentine's and tell you all about it?"

"No." Sonoko took a seat, looking extremely concerned. "What happened? She's been really distant since then. She'll respond to my calls and texts, but she's really…off, and she hasn't wanted to really talk or hang out."

Shinichi's eyes widened in surprise. "We…on Valentine's Day…we had a big fight. I don't think she's ever going to speak to me again."

Sonoko rolled her eyes. "You guys fight all the time. Fighting's the same as flirting for you two. It'll be fine."

"No, Sonoko," Shinichi insisted. "I'm pretty sure we're done. In fact, I'm kind of positive."

"That serious, huh?" Sonoko mumbled, taking a sip of her mimosa. "I wonder why she hasn't said anything to me. I thought we were best friends."

"She probably just needs time, Sonoko. I wouldn't worry about it too much," Shinichi reassured, reaching for his own drink and draining half of the bottle. "I lied to her, and it was kind of a big deal."

Sonoko frowned, cocking her head to the side and waiting for details.

Shinichi shifted uncomfortably.

Sonoko stared.

It was becoming apparent that Sonoko would not be backing down.

Shinichi sighed. Why the hell not? The cat was out of the bag anyway, and the danger of the secret had long since passed.

"When we were sixteen, I saw something I shouldn't have, and this underground crime syndicate tried to kill me. They force-fed me poison."

"Seriously?!" Sonoko gasped. "B-But…you…that was when you disappeared for two years, wasn't it? What happened?!"

Shinichi finished the first bottle and started on the second. "Well, obviously the poison didn't kill me. Instead it…made my body shrink."

Sonoko frowned. "What?"

"Yeah." Shinichi sighed again. "I was Conan."

Sonoko's expression flattened. She raised an eyebrow at him in skepticism. "Very funny."

"Not really." Shinichi shrugged. "If the syndicate found out that I'd survived, they would have killed me and everyone around me. Ran, of course, her family, probably you, the Professor, my parents, the Division One officers, even the Shounen Tanteidan, so…I had to be Conan until the organization was taken down and it was safe."

"Oh my God!" Sonoko shrieked, her eyes growing to the size of pocket watches. "You're not kidding!"

"Shhh!" Shinichi hissed, not really wanting to draw attention.

Luckily the music was loud and everyone else was more interested in their drinks or their dance partners.

"Oh my God," Sonoko muttered several times over. "You were… You lived with Ran for two years! You were right there the entire time, but you…! You _bastard_! I can't believe you would…! Oh my God! That time that we all…! And you saw…! Oh my God! Oh my God! I'm surprised she didn't KILL you! I'm thinking about killing you!"

"Yep." Shinichi nodded, taking Sonoko's reaction in stride. "Actually, I'm really astonished that I got off with a slap in the face when I told her. I was honestly expecting to end up in the hospital."

"Wow," Sonoko mumbled, draining her mimosa and going to get another one. "Wow." She repeated.

"Yeah," Shinichi confirmed. "So…I think Ran and I are done."

"…Not…necessarily," Sonoko replied after a few minutes of silence. "You said…you said you couldn't tell her because the bad guys would kill her, right?"

Shinichi nodded.

"And…you were right by her side, watching over her the whole time, right?" she continued.

Shinichi nodded again.

"It must have been…been really hard for you too, Shinichi, and I think…I think when Ran calms down…once she's had some time to think about it…I think…maybe she'll understand." Sonoko bit her lip and frowned. "I don't know how long it'll take for her to forgive you, but…you two have been in love for so long. You've been through a lot together. I think it'll probably take a lot of work to build the trust back, but…I think you two are strong enough to make it through even this."

"You think so?" Shinichi gulped, hope welling up within him. "Do you really think she'd…she'd be able to…?"

Sonoko nodded, bringing a wide grin of relief to the detective's face.

"So the mystery behind Ran's weird behavior is solved. Now…what about Kaito?"

Shinichi's heart sank as fear and dread enclosed him in their death grip.

Kaito.

A very long string of curses flew through his head.

What the hell was he going to do about Kaito?

"W-What exactly is wrong with Kaito?" At first he played innocent.

Sonoko frowned, grumbling under her breath about how Shinichi was so dense for such a great detective. "Are you kidding me? He's been slowly declining over the past year and a half. Frankly, I'm relieved that he's living with you again. Kaito forgets to eat, forgets to sleep. Even when he does eat, he never gets a decent meal. What's more, he may go out and have fun from time to time, but most of the time he's miserable, Shinichi! I worry about him all the time. I don't like him living alone in that little apartment Hakuba-kun tricked him into. He gets so depressed there. He calls me sometimes, Shinichi, and I can tell that he's really thinking about suicide. He—"

"—What?" Shinichi cut her off. "Suicide?" His heart lurched at the word. "What makes you think…I mean…Sonoko, are you _sure_?"

She looked down at her drink and nodded sadly. "He never says so in so many words, but…Shinichi, I can tell from the way he speaks…the things he says…. He feels really alone. He's so sad, and he feels like no one's ever going to love him again. I think he's lost his faith in people. He's just waiting for us all to up and leave him. Even me…even you. Especially you. He feels like he's a burden to everyone, and…he told me…he doesn't like himself anymore. He feels like he's not really himself. He's lost. He doesn't know who he is or where he belongs, so…"

A heavy silence fell between them.

"I hadn't noticed," Shinichi mumbled, looking out at the crowd, searching for Kaito. "He never said anything."

"He doesn't let you in," Sonoko muttered in a tone of regret. "He doesn't let you see. He doesn't want to bother you or get in the way of your happiness with Ran."

"Oh." Shinichi tried hard to force down the lump in his throat.

That was when he spotted Kaito in the center of a large group of people pressing at him from all sides. He wore a shoddy imitation of a mirthful grin, and he laughed and flirted as bodies rubbed against his.

But Kaito had let his guard down because he didn't know Shinichi was looking, and Shinichi could finally see it: Despite the cheery act, Kaito was crying on the inside.

Sonoko followed Shinichi's gaze and nodded. "Poor guy. He just wants love. He goes out there and flirts, thinking it'll take away some of the pain, but it never does. He's not looking for Hollywood romance or a one-night-stand. He's trying to get back what he lost. He's searching for someone to love him like Hakuba-kun does. Poor Kai-chan…. He must really be feeling low tonight if he's wearing that outfit."

Shinichi's gaze flickered back to Sonoko for a split second before settling on Kaito again. "What's up with that outfit?"

Sonoko sighed, taking another sip of the mimosa. "He wears that one when he's trying to get laid and doesn't care what kind of creep picks him up."

Panic struck Shinichi as his head whipped back around to look at Sonoko. "He doesn't actually…! Does he really…?! Sonoko, he doesn't really go off and sleep with random strangers, does he?!"

Sonoko shook her head. "Don't worry. He's only ever slept with Hakuba-kun. That's what the belts are for."

Shinichi blinked, not quite getting her meaning. "So…he's never really gone off with anyone? I know whenever I've been out with him, I've had to pull him away from lechers in the past, but…"

"Oh, he goes off with them, but it never pans out. They never make it past second base. Kaito's told me that he still feels really bad afterwards, though. Like he's cheated…like he's dirty. He beats himself up, and I don't know what to do for him." Sonoko shook her head in remorse, wanting to help and be there for her friend, but not knowing how.

"I…I need to pay more attention to him," Shinichi decided. "I'm such an idiot. I…knew he was kind of run down, but…I had no idea that…and suicide? Dammit. I…I haven't been there for him like I should have."

"Well, you can start now," Sonoko suggested, the dark mood starting to lift somewhat. "Don't beat yourself up too much. Just start paying more attention. Keep an eye out and give him what he needs. He's living with you again, right? It shouldn't be too hard to spend a little time with him and make sure he eats and sleeps. The hard part is not babying him too much. It'd be bad if we let him become completely dependent on you."

Shinichi nodded, resolving to do a better job. He'd still have to sort out his relationship with Ran and decide how the hell he was going to manage that mess, but that could wait. Kaito needed him _now_. It could possibly be a matter of life and death if Kaito was really in as bad of shape as Sonoko said he was.

"Shin-chan!" Kaito sang as he bounded up to the table, utterly crushing Shinichi's train of thought. "Come dance with me!"

Shinichi squirmed in his seat. "Uh…maybe…maybe later, Kaito. I don't really…I don't really dance, and I'm…I'm not drunk enough at the moment to—"

"—Oh, one dance won't kill you," Sonoko cackled, taking Shinichi's drink and giving him a slap on the back, shoving him towards Kaito. "Dance with him. Just one song. I swear I won't tell your wife."

"Shin-chan?" Kaito looked up at him expectantly, holding his breath and crossing his fingers while he waited for Shinichi's okay.

"Oh, alright. One song," Shinichi agreed, giving in to his _boyfriend_ because it was his duty, and he had some idea of how bad Kaito wanted to dance with him.

Kaito barely contained his glee as he took Shinichi by the hand and tugged him out onto the dance floor to a small corner of the room that wasn't as heavily populated.

"I've never done club dancing before," Shinichi admitted, shuffling his feet awkwardly. "What do I do?" He looked nervously at the couples dancing (more like mating with their clothes on) around them.

"Don't worry; it's easy," Kaito assured. "You'll pick it up in no time. Besides, I'm told I'm a very good partner to have your first time with. I'll take care of you."

"Hahaha…yeah," Shinichi laughed mirthlessly. "And maybe I'll even remember my first time this time around. So…what exactly do I do?"

"Just move your feet a little and move your hips with the music. You'll be able to feel it," Kaito chuckled.

"And…where do I put my hands?" Shinichi averted his eyes as the couple next to them started snaking hands under clothes and groping each other.

Kaito just laughed. "Shin-chan, I'm your boyfriend." With a hand he indicated the entirety of his body. "All of this is fair game, so…" He took Shinichi's hands in his own, pulling them to rest on his chest (which would have been ten times more awkward if Kaito had had breasts) "…you can put your hands anywhere you want."

Shinichi rolled his eyes, pulling his hands away. "Let's just do this already. One song. Go."

Kaito bit the inside of his lip, smile fading. "You make me feel so unsexy, you know?"

Shinichi blinked. Kaito sounded serious. Shinichi hadn't intended to hurt Kaito's feelings; it was just…he'd been embarrassed and nervous and totally out of his element. "I…"

"I'm sorry I'm not some busty brunette with long, elegant hair and a little tiny waist and nice legs and no fashion sense, but…." Kaito looked down at the floor and mumbled, "Sorry you got stuck with me, but…"

Shinichi's heart constricted again, and he felt a stab of guilt for his excitement and relief earlier at the thought of being reconciled with Ran.

"Kaito…" Shinichi whispered, stepping in and cupping his boyfriend's cheek. "It's not like that. You're fine the way you are, and…and plenty of people think you're sexy. I saw the crowd of people trying to dance with you. I know a lot of people that are attracted to you. You're the sexiest guy I know."

Kaito looked up sadly, meeting Shinichi's gaze. "What good is that when the guy I love doesn't want me?"

Shinichi's mouth went dry. The hurt and sorrow and suffering in Kaito's eyes was enough to make Shinichi want to cry. He reached out and pulled Kaito into a tight hug, running his fingers through his hair and pressing a kiss to the top of Kaito's head.

His own heart hurt. How could he leave this poor, innocent creature? How could he betray Kaito? How could he live with himself if he chose to be happy with Ran while simultaneously condemning Kaito to heartbreak and misery? He couldn't. It didn't matter anymore if there was a chance to patch things up with Ran. His relationship with her, no matter how he longed for it with every fiber of his being, no matter how he loved her, was in the past. Kaito was his future. He'd have to let Ran go and learn to love and cherish Kaito because, God, Kaito deserved it. Kaito needed him, and Shinichi had promised to be the one that would never make Kaito cry.

"_Yet_. When he doesn't want you _yet_," Shinichi corrected, his own heart sinking like an iron ball and chain. "Don't give up, Kaito. It's only been two weeks and just look at how our relationship has grown and changed since then. I know you're impatient because you're more of an instant gratification type guy, but…just give it some time. I'll be eating out of the palm of your hand before too long. Okay?" Shinichi pulled back and cupped his boyfriend's cheek. "Okay?"

Kaito put on a small smile and nodded. "Thanks. Thanks for being so sweet, Shin-chan."

Shinichi shook his head. "I'm sorry that I hurt you. I didn't mean to. I was just…this whole club atmosphere makes me uncomfortable. It's not you, Kaito. I'm just feeling really off balance out on the dance floor. I belong over at the tables."

Kaito chuckled and rolled his eyes. "Not anymore you don't. Your boyfriend doesn't drink. He only comes here to dance, and you wouldn't want him dancing like that with other men, would you?" Kaito motioned to a couple of guys practically glued together in the corner.

Shinichi's mouth fell open. He felt like he was watching porn. (Not that he had a lot of experience with that kind of thing, mind you.) Shinichi looked back at Kaito. "You do that?"

Kaito nodded.

"With strangers?" Shinichi squeaked incredulously.

Kaito nodded, an innocent smile on his face.

"Is that what we're going to do?" Shinichi gulped.

Suddenly the smile lost its innocence, turning into a full-fledged leer. Kaito nodded slowly, wrapping his arms around Shinichi's neck and situating a thigh between Shinichi's legs.

"J-Just one song, okay?" Shinichi tried desperately to keep his blush down.

"Oh, you say that now," Kaito purred, grinding his hips against Shinichi's in time to the beat. "By the end of the song, I'll have you begging for more," he promised.

"O-Oh." Shinichi's breath hitched as Kaito gave a little thrust.

Their hips rocked back and forth like that for a while, and then Kaito dropped into a crouch, dragging his body along Shinichi's the entire way down. Kaito's hands trailed down Shinichi's butt and came to grip the backs of Shinichi's thighs.

"Nice soccer butt," Kaito chuckled, leaning in to nuzzle Shinichi's belt buckle. "Nice hamstrings too. I can tell you're a runner."

Shinichi couldn't managed to vocalize any kind of intelligent reply as Kaito stroked his thighs and nibbled at the belt.

Kaito looked up at him through long, false eyelashes and smiled sweetly.

One thought bombarded Shinichi's mind at the sight: "HOT."

And then the smile turned devilish. Kaito moved his hands to stroke Shinichi's inner thigh as he stuck out his tongue and gave the belt buckle a long, slow lick.

Shinichi was overheating. Kaito was frying his brain, and Shinichi liked it. Oh, how he liked it. This left him feeling conflicted, though because it wasn't _Kaito_ specifically that was making his head swim with thoughts of bedsheets and sweat, it was the things that Kaito was doing. It was the acts that were making his blood boil.

Kaito could have been anyone, and that wasn't right. Kaito loved him. Kaito wanted _him_, intimacy with _him_. Shinichi just wanted release, and that wasn't fair to Kaito.

Shinichi was about to call it quits for both of their sakes when Kaito began to stand up, once again letting his body slide over Shinichi's creating tantalizing friction. What was it that Sonoko had said? One dance wouldn't kill him? She was right. What harm could one dance do? It felt soooo good. Just a little more couldn't hurt. His baser instincts spoke in twisted logic, winning the part of his brain that knew better over. Shinichi knew he shouldn't. He knew he could easily do something stupid in his slightly inebriated, highly aroused state and end up hurting Kaito, but…

Kaito pressed his thigh between Shinichi's legs again, and the argument was lost. Shinichi pressed back, finding the rhythm in the music. This back and forth didn't last long, though. Ever the tease, Kaito pulled away so that he was still close enough for Shinichi to reach out and touch but far enough away that the friction was lost.

Kaito winked, wearing a self-satisfied grin as he proceeded to ignore Shinichi in favor of running his hands up and down his own body in an enticing show.

Shinichi's eyes followed the hands as they wove through Kaito's hair, caressed his face, and trailed down his neck. They moved down his arms, running across his stomach and skimming his thighs before wrapping around back and sliding up, ghosting over his butt and coming up his sides to graze his chest.

Then the hands moved back down again, spending a great deal more time on the hips and thighs. Kaito fingered the many belts wrapped around his waist and hips, as if inviting Shinichi to consider taking them off, unwrapping Kaito like a present, and to find out what was underneath.

Having had his fill of just being a spectator, Shinichi reached out and pulled Kaito to him so that the magician's back was pressed flush against Shinichi's front.

Kaito smirked, feeling giddy as Shinichi's hands traced the paths Kaito's own had blazed only a minute before. He didn't even mind the lack of friction in this position because he could feel the heat from Shinichi's body, the need and desire he had ignited within his beloved. It felt so good to know that that desire was for _him_. Shinichi was all riled up because of _him_. Shinichi wanted _him_.

Kaito leaned his head back and rested it against Shinichi's shoulder as he rolled his hips backwards, doing everything he could to make Shinichi's body burn. He nearly giggled as he heard Shinichi gasp in his ear. God, Kaito was so happy. Genuinely happy without a twinge of guilt for the first time in the nearly two weeks they had been "together".

"Kaito," Shinichi moaned, taking ahold of Kaito's hips and holding them still, pulling them back to press against himself.

With a smirk, Kaito tilted his hips to give Shinichi a teasing little rub, knowing that his boyfriend was done for.

Shinichi gasped, holding Kaito tight as his legs nearly gave out on him.

Kaito turned around, wrapping his arms around his darling. He pressed his lips to Shinichi's ear, snickering, "Not bad for your first time. Have fun?"

Shinichi swallowed hard, trying to catch his breath. "That was…almost as good as the coffee."

Kaito laughed, letting out a snort. "And that was standing up. Just think of what I could do on a mattress," he retorted breathily, pulling back.

Shinichi's face went vermillion, and he forced himself to look away because his hormones were still humming, and Kaito was looking entirely too jumpable at the moment.

"Thanks for the dance, Shin-chan," Kaito chuckled, pressing a light kiss to his boyfriend's cheek. "Bathroom's over there."

"Right," Shinichi mumbled. "Yeah. Thanks. I need to go…splash some cold water on my face." …And clean up. He felt hot and sticky. He also needed to regain his composure because in less than an hour he'd be going home _alone_ with Kaito, and he really needed to get his hormones reigned in and put the logical part of his brain back in charge.

Kaito grinned like an idiot as he made his way back over to where Sonoko was sitting, sipping at her mimosa.

"Have fun?" she tittered, smirking at her friend.

"Yep!" Kaito chuckled, still higher than a kite. "I am so horny right now, I think I need to be hosed down. Geez, that was _hot_."

Sonoko nodded, her smile fading. She felt conflicted. On one hand, she was glad that her friend was looking a great deal more chipper, but on the other…she was so worried about him getting hurt.

"Kai-chan?" she called softly.

Kaito blinked, cocking his head to the side at her solemn tone of voice.

"Don't…get your hopes up, okay?" she hesitantly advised. "I know you're crazy about Shinichi, but…he's not emotionally available. He told me earlier that he and Ran were on the rocks at the moment, but…he's loved her for _twenty_ _years_. Even if they were to break up…I wouldn't want you jumping into anything, you know?"

Kaito nodded, looking down at the table as he leaned against it.

Sonoko reached out and cupped his cheek, making him look at her. He could see the conflict in her eyes. "I care about you, you know. I know we've really only gotten to know each other well in these past three years, but…you've become someone who's really important to me. I never want to see you hurt again like you were back then. I don't want Shinichi to hurt you. I want to protect you, but there's only so much I can do."

Kaito leaned in and pressed a grateful kiss to Sonoko's cheek. "Thanks, Sonoko-chan, but you know I'd say yes the moment he asked me. You can't protect me from myself."

"Idiot," she sighed, mussing his hair. "Well, when he breaks your heart, come crying to me. We'll go shopping and dancing, and I'll introduce you to some nice guys. Okay?"

"You're the best, Sono-chan," Kaito laughed, putting his smile back on. "Come dance with me!"

Sonoko rolled her eyes, downing the rest of her drink and getting to her feet. "Alright, you little slut. Let's go make the entire room stop and stare."

…

It was a little bit before midnight when Kaito and Shinichi left the club and made their way home in a bit of an awkward silence.

"So…that was fun," Kaito stated offhandedly, trying to get a conversation going. "It was good seeing Sono-chan and some of the girls. Too bad none of the guys could come. Still…I had a good time."

"Good. I'm glad," Shinichi replied with a blush, remembering the friction and heat caused by Kaito's body against his own. Shinichi refrained from commenting on just what a good time he himself had had. "Hey, Kaito? I was talking with Sonoko, and…"

"Yeah?" Kaito's head tilted to the side, and he looked up at Shinichi with curiosity when his boyfriend unexpectedly trailed off.

Shinichi bit his lip and came to a stop as he looked at the young man before him. He had intended to ask Kaito about the disturbing things Sonoko had mentioned, but…looking at Kaito now…he didn't want to upset him.

With a sheepish chuckle, Shinichi began walking again. "Sorry. I'm tired and a little tipsy. What I was saying was that…uh…Sonoko mentioned your belts in a way that kind of made them sound like they were more than just a fashion statement, so…what's up with the belts?"

Kaito's face turned fuchsia, and he looked away, nervously fingering one of the four or so belts. "Uh…well…they're kind of…chastity belts. And, yes, I need more than one." Kaito's shoulders rose up to meet his ears as he shrunk in embarrassment.

"Oh," Shinichi replied simply, his own face going raspberry red.

"Yeah," Kaito mumbled. "I mean…the belts are kind of tricky and take a while to get off, so each successive belt just gives me a little more time to really think about what I'm doing and decide if I really want to be doing it. The answer's always 'No', though. I've only ever had one guy get past belt number three, and that was on a day where I was an absolute mess. They work for me, so…that's what's up with the belts."

Shinichi nodded, reaching out and ruffling Kaito's hair. "Good. That's good, Kaito. I'm glad that you're finding ways to protect and take care of yourself."

Kaito chuckled, leaning into the touch. "That, and they feel really good when you're dancing close…. As I think you noticed, they're absolutely maddening to rub up against."

A second wave of crimson blush overtook Shinichi's face at the memory of the sensation. "Y-Yeah. Thanks," he grumbled.

Kaito just giggled as they came to the gate of the Kudo Manor. "Oh, you're just embarrassed because I got you off. You liked it."

Shinichi stiffened as he fumbled with the keys. "…Kaito…we shouldn't of done that."

"Why not?" Kaito blinked in confusion, hastening his steps to keep up with a quickly retreating Shinichi. "I mean, we're dating. Couples do that kind of thing…and you liked it."

Shinichi shut the front door behind them and turned to Kaito with a sigh. "Kaito, we're not at a point in our relationship where we should be doing things like that. I don't want to do that stuff with someone I don't love _yet_. When we were dancing, it didn't matter that it was you specifically. All that I cared about was the pressure and the heat. I don't want to do those kinds of things with you out of lust, Kaito. Next time, I don't just want to sleep with you; I want to _make love_ to you. I don't want to use you or hurt you, Kaito. I respect you, and I care about you, so…I don't think we should do something like that again for a while. Okay?"

Kaito nodded, looking overjoyed, disappointed, and a little embarrassed all at the same time.

"Come here," Shinichi sighed, bringing Kaito into a tight hug. "You're amazing Kaito, and I like you a lot."

Kaito nipped the underside of Shinichi's jaw and settled down into the embrace. "You make my head spin with all of the sweet, chivalrous things you say. Sometimes…sometimes I just wish you'd use me a little, though. It makes me feel less hopeless when you make me feel like I'm attractive."

"…I'll keep that in mind." Shinichi stored the information away to be muddled over later as he pulled back and patted Kaito on the head. "You're always attractive, though. I'm gonna get ready for bed. Night, Kaito."

"N-Night," Kaito called after him, holding in a shrill squeal of delight.

Shinichi thought he was _always_ attractive! He wanted to do a little victory dance. Instead, he headed up to his own room to shower and put on his pjs.

As he was coming down the hall back from the bathroom, he noticed that the light in Shinichi's room was still on, so, taking a deep breath, he knocked on the door. There was still one thing he wanted to settle with his boyfriend, and he was on a roll so far tonight, so…

"Come in!" Shinichi called.

Kaito pushed the door open to find Shinichi just turning down his covers.

"What's up?" Shinichi asked, looking over his shoulder.

"Can we talk?" Kaito bit his lip, coming over and sitting on the ground beside Shinichi's bed.

"S-Sure. What about?" Shinichi took a seat on the bed and smiled softly at his boyfriend. "You can sit up on the bed beside me, you know."

Kaito shook his head and then rested it on the bed beside Shinichi's knee. "Tonight…when we were talking to Sonoko-chan…you didn't tell her that I was your boyfriend."

Shinichi blinked. "Was I supposed to? Sorry. I don't think a good time to breach the subject really came up, though."

"How about when she asked why I had moved back in with you?" Kaito retorted flatly. "And then I looked at you to tell her, and then you looked at me like you had no idea what I was talking about?"

Shinichi's face lost most of its color. "Oh. Oh! Oh, God, sorry. I wasn't paying attention. I'm sorry, Kaito. I didn't mean…I honestly had no idea what you two were talking about, and so when you looked at me, I…" He bit his lip and bowed his head in shame. "I'm sorry. Most of the time I don't really care for whatever topic you and Sonoko are discussing, so I kind of tune out when you two get to chatting. I'm really sorry."

Kaito glared hard at the other brunette. "Idiot," he snorted, letting it go. "Okay. You owe me chocolate for inadvertently making me miserable for an hour. Are we telling our friends that we're a couple or not? Come to think of it, have you even told your parents yet? I thought you were going to tell your parents. Were you just saying that to appease me, or are you just procrastinating? If you were never going to actually tell your parents, you should of just said so. I'd rather you be blunt than lie to me to spare my feelings."

Shinichi chewed absentmindedly on his lips. "I haven't talked to my parents yet. I don't really talk to them a lot, so…"

Kaito gave him a stern look.

"You know what? I'll call them. Tomorrow. Tomorrow morning, first thing after I make you chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast?" Shinichi smiled weakly, looking to Kaito for approval.

Kaito nodded with a growing grin. "And our friends?"

Shinichi's smile faded. "So…I was talking to Sonoko, and apparently Ran hasn't told anyone that it's over between us. I promise you I'm not putting it off or making excuses, Kaito, but…I don't want to hurt her by announcing that the day after we broke up you moved in with me. I think that would be insensitive. Give it a few more weeks, and then we'll tell them."

"How many?" Kaito demanded.

"Two. Two weeks, and then we'll tell them. We'll…we'll all go out to eat and we'll tell them. Sound good?"

"Un." Kaito smiled, pressing a kiss to Shinichi's knee. He looked up at his beloved and put on a happy grin. "Thanks, Shin-chan. You're too good to me."

"I'm not good enough," Shinichi revised, bending over and placing a kiss on the top of Kaito's head. "Good night. Sweet dreams, Kaito."

"Night, night, Shin-chan," Kaito sang in reply.

…

Mikau: See? See how Kaito sort of hijacked the story? This chapter is about 8,000 words of stuff I didn't mean to write. Oh well. We did get some stuff accomplished, and I'm pretty pleased with how it turned out, so that's alright. We got some relationship development in there too, so it's all good. So long as you guys liked it. That being said, what did you think? Thanks so much for reading guys! Drop me a review if you have the time!


	5. Choices

Mikau: Hello everybody! Thank you so much for continuing to read and support this fic. I especially want to thank those the reviewed last time: MeitanteiRose, Bunnyz-chan, DetectivePandaThief, Miko Vampire, patternleap, and mochiusagi. HP's moving along pretty well, actually. To the detriment of Roses. Sorry to you that are reading both. There won't be a Roses chapter this week either; it's giving me trouble. This chapter gave me trouble too. No one wanted to do it. Kaito didn't want it to happen, Shinichi was at a complete loss as to what to say, and Ran didn't even want to do it. By the way, she's very concerned about people hating her after this chapter. She wants you to know that she has feelings too, and she's not the "bad guy" just because you probably support Kaito more. No one was very cooperative in writing this chapter…except Hakuba. He was kind of up in my face asking, "Is there anything I can do? Can I help? Please? Please let me help Kaito?" Anyway, all things considered, I think it turned out pretty well. I'll let you be the judge, though. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: If I owned it, I'd see what I could do about making Conan's outfits into an actual clothing line. He's got some cute stuff (dorky suit jacket and bowtie aside). I especially like the outfit with the pockets on the sleeves.

…

Chapter Five: Choices

They were entering week three of their relationship, and Kaito was beginning to allow himself to hope. Shinichi had taken it upon himself to daily make Kaito feel attractive. He'd commented on some aspect of Kaito's outfit, anatomy, or personality and made the magician glow.

One day he complimented Kaito's jeans, saying they hugged his thighs in just the right way and accented his hips well. This was paired with an appreciative leer that made Kaito's ears go red.

That afternoon it had simply been that Kaito was "cute" coupled with a look of adoration and a fond smile. The next day, Shinichi had stopped to gaze into Kaito's eyes (nearly causing Kaito to overheat as Shinichi caught him by the hand and held him in place to get a good look) and promptly declared them the most magnificent shade of violet.

This beautiful Monday morning as they were cleaning up the breakfast things, Shinichi ruffled Kaito's hair and said, "It's good to see you smiling, Kaito. You've got a gorgeous smile."

"You know, you don't have to force yourself to come up with stuff like that, Shin-chan," Kaito chuckled, giving his beloved a playful shove. "Thank you, but—"

"—It's actually really easy," Shinichi cut him off with a laugh of his own. "You know. Since I've got a veritable Adonis to work with."

Kaito rolled his eyes, wrapping his arms around Shinichi's neck. "You're such a flatterer."

Shinichi shrugged, letting his hands come to rest on Kaito's hips. "I can't help it that my boyfriend's a hottie. What do you even see in me?"

"I think I was originally attracted to your brain," Kaito retorted. "Then you grew up, and I realized that you weren't so hard on the eyes."

With a chuckle, Shinichi reached up and ran a hand through Kaito's hair. "Gosh you're pretty."

Kaito's smile turned sad. "Don't. Seriously. It feels forced…fake…."

Shinichi frowned, letting his hand trail back down Kaito's face. "It's not. I can appreciate beauty, even if I'm not head over heels in love with you yet…. I'll tone it down, though. Okay?"

Kaito nodded, the smile coming back. "Thanks. I really appreciate what you're trying to do, Shin-chan."

With another shrug, Shinichi leaned in and placed a kiss at Kaito's temple. "Let it never be said that I don't try…. You are pretty, though…. But you make me feel like a narcissist."

Kaito snorted lightly and pressed a kiss to Shinichi's jaw. "Yeah. I know what you mean."

The doorbell rang, prompting them to pull apart.

"I'll get it," Kaito offered, reluctantly breaking away.

"I'll finish cleaning up. I've got to head out to a crime scene after that, but I'll make you some lunch, okay?" Shinichi turned back to the dishes, strangely missing the closeness. Hn.

"Thanks, Shin-chan! You're the best!" Kaito waved over his shoulder as he headed down the hall and to the front door. He opened the door and froze, his heart stopping and his lungs seizing.

"Kaito-kun! It's been a while; how are you doing? Where's Shinichi?"

"M-M-Mouri-chan…" Kaito sputtered, slowly backing away as Ran invited herself in.

She rolled her eyes with a chuckle. "Kaito-kun, I've told you a dozen times that you can call me 'Ran'."

"C-Can I help you?" Kaito gulped as she came closer and closer.

"I came to talk with Shinichi." Her smile faded slightly as she admitted, "We had a fight the other day, so…I came to apologize and talk things out. Where is he?"

Kaito could feel his heart break, shards piercing his lungs and making it harder to breathe before rattling around in his ribcage. This was a nightmare. An absolute nightmare.

"Shinichi!" he screamed, "HELP!" left unsaid but conveyed clearly by his tone.

And Shinichi came running, thinking some armed madman had broken in. "Kaito! Kaito, what's—?!"

Shinichi came to a halt when he saw Ran in the foyer. "R-Ran," he breathed, staring at her as if she were the most beautiful, precious thing he had ever seen.

She smiled shyly, tucking a long strand of hair behind her ear. "Hello, Shinichi."

Kaito had never wanted to die so badly in his entire life. If he could drop dead on the spot and be spared the pain and anguish of watching the man he loved fawn over someone else…

"Sorry I haven't called or texted you or anything since…" She bit her lip and cast Kaito a brief glance out of the corner of her eye. "I've been thinking, and…can we talk?"

"Uh…yeah," Shinichi replied in a daze. "If you want, we can…" He trailed off, coming out of his stupor as he caught sight of the look of absolute horror on Kaito's face.

The poor magician looked like he'd been shot. And Shinichi had seen Kaito shot before. It was not a pretty sight, the ex-thief so pale and shaken, eyes glassy and body quivering. He looked as if he may go into shock any minute.

"We can just talk here," Shinichi revised as he took a hesitant step closer to the other two from where he had come to a halt next to the banister at the bottom of the staircase.

Ran's brow creased as she glanced pointedly at Kaito again. "I'm sorry…I kind of meant in private."

"A-Anything you have to say to me, you can say in front of Kaito," Shinichi declared, taking another step forward. He didn't want to get too close for fear of smelling her perfume and losing all sense of self or catching her gaze and getting caught up in her exquisite eyes.

Kaito blinked, looking almost startled at this as he glanced nervously back and forth between the other two. A little bit of color returned to his face.

And then Ran turned to him and smiled in a forced grin of syrupy sweetness. He knew enough to realize that this was the smile she wore when she was about to strike like a deadly adder.

"Kaito-kun? Would you mind stepping out of the room or going home or something so that I can have a talk with my boyfriend?" she demanded in the guise of a polite request.

Kaito shook as he attempted to open his mouth and respond. He wanted to retreat even further, but she had him backed up against the wall as it was.

"He lives _here_," Shinichi cut in with authority, but all that confidence was sapped from his voice as he continued softly, remorsefully, "…and…I'm not your boyfriend."

"W-What?" Ran's gaze snapped back to Shinichi, and she looked at him with hurt and confusion, almost making him lose his resolve right then and there.

God, he loved her, and this was killing him. He wanted to take it back, to hold her, to kiss her, to spend the rest of his life with her. He wanted to forgive and forget as much as she did, but…there was Kaito. Because of Kaito… If not for Kaito…

NO. He was not thinking that. He was NEVER going to think that ever again. It wasn't Kaito's fault, and he wasn't going to become resentful of that poor, broken, beautiful, innocent creature because of this. _Shinichi_ was the one to blame. It was his responsibility to fix or mitigate the damage he'd done to Kaito, and it was his own damn fault for lying to Ran and hurting her so much all those years ago. This was all Shinichi's fault, and he was not going to pass all of the blame off on Kaito. He would shoulder it himself.

"I'm not your boyfriend anymore," Shinichi repeated. "Ran, when you stormed out of here on Valentine's, I was under the impression that you were never speaking to me again. You kind of said you hated me, and, if I remember correctly, there was talk of karate kicking me through a wall on sight. You broke up with me, so I'm not your boyfriend anymore."

Ran sighed, holding in her frustration. "I'm sorry, Shinichi. Yes, you're right, but can you kind of understand why I flew off the handle like that? I think I had every right to be furious with you."

"So do I." Shinichi shrugged. "That still doesn't change the fact that you broke up with me."

Ran bit her tongue, holding in the tirade of "I'm sorry, you idiot. Stop being a jerk already!" Instead she calmly replied, "Okay. Well, we can fix that. Just agree to go out with me again."

Kaito tightly screwed his eyes shut, holding back the tears and bracing for the moment that Shinichi told him to leave.

"I can't," Shinichi whispered.

"What?" Ran gaped at him, wondering if she misheard. "W-Why not?"

Kaito slowly began to open his eyes.

"I'm with someone else."

Both Kaito and Ran stared at Shinichi in wide-eyed surprise.

"Kaito and I are going out," Shinichi announced a little louder.

Ran's head slowly turned like a possessed doll's to face Kaito. She looked at him blankly, face devoid of emotion.

Kaito stared back in terror, as if he were facing a very large fish.

"You?" Ran whispered so quietly Shinichi could barely hear her from where he stood several feet away.

Kaito gulped, pressing back further into the wall.

"I knew I never should have allowed you near him," she muttered calmly under her breath. "After Hakuba-kun threw you away and Shinichi started taking care of you…I knew you'd be trouble."

"Ran," Shinichi growled low in warning.

"I should have done something about it the instant I realized you had feelings for him," Ran continued softly in a controlled rage. "I should have forbid him from having anything to do with you. All this time you've just been waiting for an opportunity to slip in and steal him for yourself."

"Ran, stop," Shinichi ordered, slowly coming closer. He didn't know what to do. He had to protect Kaito, but…but Ran was hurting too. Shinichi had hurt them both.

"Thief!" Ran finally screamed in anguish, tears beginning to fall. "Home-wrecker!" she screeched, raising her hand to strike.

Kaito closed his eyes, bracing for impact.

The hit never connected.

Shinichi blocked Ran's swing, knocking them both a little off balance as Shinichi placed himself between the two. "You don't touch him," He growled softly at Ran. "You don't touch him, and you don't talk to him like that. This is all my fault; he's done nothing wrong."

Ran covered her face with her hands and cried as Shinichi forced himself to look away and tend to his _boyfriend_.

"Kaito, go upstairs," Shinichi ordered with a soft, reassuring touch to Kaito's shoulder. "I'll be up in a bit, okay?"

With a nod, Kaito dashed up the stairs on legs that felt like rubber bands. His heart was racing, his tear ducts burning, his mind spinning out of control.

Shinichi turned back to Ran as soon as he heard Kaito's bedroom door shut. He wrapped her in his arms, pulled her in close and whispered, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. God, Ran, I am so, so sorry. How did everything get so screwed up? …Come on. Let's talk in the living room."

Ran's tears abated as he pulled back and gently guided her to come sit on the couch.

"I'm sorry," he repeated, taking the armchair across from her. "I swear to God, Ran, I have never been this sorry in my entire life."

"S-Shinichi," she sniffled. "What's going on?"

He looked away, down at his feet. "I messed up. I…Well, first of all, I wish I had never lied to you like I did about the whole Conan thing, but can you see how I thought that I had no other choice?"

"Yes."

His head snapped up and he stared incredulously at her. "Really?"

She nodded. "Yes. I'm not happy about it, but…I know…you were just trying to protect me…because you love me."

"Yeah," he whispered, standing to bow deeply to her in penitence. "I'm sorry. I don't expect you to forgive me, but please know how hard it was for me." He looked back up at her, eyes slightly moist. "I _wanted_ to tell you. Every day, I wanted to tell you. I almost did several times, but…for your own safety, I couldn't do it. I'm sorry, Ran."

"It's okay." She smiled weakly. "I thought about it a lot, and…it still hurts, but…it's okay. I keep telling myself that your intentions are what should really matter, but…Shinichi, why are you dating…dating _him_? I didn't know…since when do you…you like men?"

A debilitating blush covered Shinichi's face, and he sank back down into the armchair. "Honestly? I don't really. At least…I don't think I do. Okay, maybe it's not so bad, but…I like women a whole lot more. I wouldn't label myself 'gay' or anything, but…Kaito is very attractive, and, as a person, I love him. He's one of the best, most fascinating, truly beautiful humans that I know, but…this is all a mistake."

"I…I don't understand." Ran frowned, brow furrowing as she tried to concentrate on what he was saying and piece the disjointed parts together.

Running a hand through his hair, Shinichi blew out a long sigh. "Okay. Let's start from the beginning: I thought you broke up with me on Valentine's Day. I thought I had lost the love of my life and would never be happy again and that life wasn't worth living, blah, blah, blah…so I decided to get blind drunk to numb the pain. With me so far?"

Ran nodded.

"Cool. It turns out Kaito was using the study that night, and he heard the fight. He offered to stay with me and make sure I was okay. He was really worried about me giving myself alcohol poisoning, so he drank some too to keep me from drinking everything in sight. So we're both drunk, and I'm an emotional Hindenburg; he's still not much better after the whole Hakuba thing, and…he loves me. It sounds like you knew that already, but…Kaito truly loves me, and I slept with him to make myself feel better about losing you."

Ran gasped, eyes growing to the size of bowling pins.

"Yeah," Shinichi sighed again. "So…I felt like primordial slime the next morning. He was already enough of a mess with his past breakups and his secret crush on me tormenting him, and then I go and use him like that…Ran, I have to take responsibility for my actions, even though I don't necessarily have those kinds of feelings for Kaito yet. I think I really could come to love him given time, so…Kaito and I are going out."

Ran gazed at him sadly, longingly. "But…you and I are supposed to end up together."

Shinichi smiled, even though he wanted to cry. "That's what I thought too, but, when I really think about it, I'm no good for you. I lie to you, break promises, let you down, ditch you to solve murders…Ran, I'm a sucky boyfriend. You're an amazing, talented, smart, resourceful, strong, pretty, beautiful young woman. You deserve someone who puts you first, and I'm not that man. Even after everything I went through as Conan, it still wasn't enough to make me the man you deserve. I'm ungrateful, and I take you for granted. I don't make time for you. I don't shower you with praise, love, and affection. I love you with all of my heart, Ran, but I don't love you as much as I should."

Ran started to cry softly as she realized that goodbye was coming whether she wanted it or not.

"I think it's time we let go of the past…of other people's expectations for us…of the life we thought we'd have together…. Honestly, I doubt I could make you happy, Ran, and you deserve better than that." He reached out and patted her on the knee. "Go. Find a nice guy. He's out there. In fact…call Hondou Eisuke and see what he's up to nowadays. Just a suggestion. You're strong and perfectly capable, Ran. You don't need me…but Kaito does."

She closed her eyes and let it sink in.

"I can't hurt him like this, Ran. He's been through too much. He's lost so much…. He's barely holding it together as is, and if I hurt him, he'll shatter. I don't want to be a murderer, Ran, and I know you don't either. I know it'll probably take some time to accept it and move on, and I'll understand if you're furious with me, but..."

She nodded, opening her eyes and standing. "Shinichi…I…I loved you."

"I loved you too," he whispered. "Now, go find someone that can love you better, and be happy."

"But…what are you going to do?"

Shinichi sighed, shrugging his shoulders slightly. "I'll go be happy too…it'll probably take a while, but…we'll all learn to be happy, so…good luck, Ran."

"You too, Shinichi," she replied before turning to leave. She slowly, gracefully walked away, shutting the front door behind her. And then she broke, her composure fracturing. She darted off at a full-out run, tears streaming down her face as she rushed to get home where she could grieve in peace.

Meanwhile, Shinichi let all the muscles in his body go slack, and he sunk into the armchair. His entire body felt heavy.

There went the future he had always dreamed of, right out the front door.

He took a deep breath, straightening up one vertebrae at a time, and then he stood and headed up the stairs so that he could tend to the future that would be—his poor, sweet Kaito.

…

Kaito hurled the door to his room closed, ignoring the slam as he threw himself down on his bed and bawled into his pillow.

She'd come back. Mouri Ran had come back to take Shinichi away.

All was lost.

Kaito had nothing on Ran. There was nothing he could do, nothing he could offer Shinichi that she couldn't trump. First of all, she was female—the biological sex that Shinichi was actually interested in—and all of the unfair advantages that came with that. She had the breasts and the hips and the ability to bear children. She was a socially acceptable mate for Shinichi.

Second, there was the fact that Shinichi loved her—had loved her for twenty years now. Kaito and Shinichi just didn't have that kind of history. She had had a great deal more time with which to create memories and make him fall in love.

And then there was the fact that Kaito was a basket case. Look at him crying like a baby at the drop of a hat. He was disgraceful. He was dragging the Kuroba name through mud. His father would be ashamed if he saw Kaito now. It was pathetic, disgustingly pathetic. He couldn't even hold it together. What the hell was wrong with him? He was almost twenty-five years old, and he couldn't even take care of himself. He fell to pieces at the smallest things.

Kaito was whiney and needy and unstable. No one wanted someone like that. It was the natural choice for Shinichi to go back to Ran. Even if he wouldn't admit to it outright in order to spare Kaito's feelings, Shinichi and Ran would probably go behind Kaito's back and laugh at him, oh so trusting and stupid and…and in love.

How Kaito loved Shinichi, loved him with everything he had left…and now Shinichi was being taken away. It had all been a cruel joke. Three weeks of paradise—a brief reprieve—and now back to hell. Shinichi was going to leave him, and Kaito would be alone again, but…where was he going to go?

He couldn't go back to the apartment. It wasn't his anymore. He didn't have a home of his own. He could go back to his mom's house…that empty place that felt more like a museum now whenever he visited. He could see if Sonoko would really let him move in with her…but…no. Sonoko was Ran's best friend. That trumped whatever relationship Kaito had with her, even though she was his current best friend. As soon as Sonoko found out that Kaito had stolen Shinichi from Ran…as soon as she found out that he was a home-wrecker…she'd kick him out of her life too.

It was all crumbling. Everything was falling apart, and when the dust settled this time, there would be nothing left. Well, two boxes of clothes and two boxes of magic, but he was thinking of donating the old wardrobe and giving up magic. He needed new clothes, and…it was time to give up on his dream. It wasn't going anywhere. Nothing was.

It hadn't been for a long time, had it? Ever since…since the divorce…when Saguru had…"thrown him away". What a fitting expression. Kaito felt like trash. He felt like a waste of space. Saguru had had the right idea "throwing him away".

Kaito's sobs died down as it dawned upon him: no one wanted him. Not even Kaito wanted Kaito. He should be disposed of. Death would be preferable to having Shinichi come through that door and tell him that he was leaving Kaito for Ran. Death would be better than the shame and the anger and the jealousy and all the other scary, ugly emotions he would feel when Shinichi made him pack up all of his stuff and move out onto the street. Death would be easier than figuring out "what next" after everyone had left Kaito all on his own. Death would set him free from all of his pain.

But he had to act fast. Shinichi would be up at any minute to reject and eject him.

Kaito tumbled out of the bed and scampered to his closet, digging through his things, desperate to find some agent of death with which to liberate himself from this world of pain and disappointment and cruel cosmic jokes.

He came across a long strand of scarves all knotted together and grinned maniacally. He could hang himself with this! Quickly, his eyes scanned the room for something to secure his noose to…only there was nothing. No rafters, no ceiling fan, no hanging light…nothing.

He growled in frustration, but then he remembered something that Shinichi had told him once. Someone had committed suicide by…what was it…think…was it…? They tied the noose to a doorknob?

Kaito frowned, sizing up his doorknob.

Maybe. If he tied it short enough, he could prop himself up, get his head through the loop, and then let all of his body weight drop. That might work.

With a triumphant smirk, he dashed over to his door and tied the scarves to the knob. It was then he realized that he didn't know how to tie a noose. Did he just make a loop big enough for his head to fit through? He really didn't want to do this wrong and end up retarded. That would be even worse than just living. And then he'd be a burden on everyone. Well, even more so than he already was.

With a muted sob, Kaito gave up on the noose.

"_What a wretched joke you are. You can't even kill yourself properly, failure"_ he mentally bullied.

He went to the window and threw it open. Sadly, he could tell that the fall would only paralyze him and break some bones. He'd fallen from similar heights before back in the day, and he knew his limits. He'd need another two stories of height at the very least to do any fatal damage.

Kaito went back to the closet and dug. Most of the things he came across were useless in his current venture. He wasn't about to kill himself with playing cards and metal rings. Too bad he'd never invested in a good pair of juggling knives. He really could have gone for slitting his wrist or throat at the moment. Heck, even seppuku would work.

It was then that he came across his cardgun. This had potential. He held it up and studied it, turning it over in his hands before pointing it experimentally at his temple.

He frowned. He'd never really tested the cardgun on bone, and the cards probably wouldn't work as well as bullets, so… He moved the gun to point it at his wrist. That could work…maybe….but what if it took off his entire hand? He liked his hands. He didn't want to risk chopping one off and the crazy spurting, spewing blood loss that would come with that. If he shot the hand off, there was a chance that he'd see the gore and carnage before blacking out or dying, and that was not the last thing that he wanted to see.

Come to think of it, if he got blood everywhere, someone would have to clean it up. He felt bad when he stopped and considered the Kudos' cleaning expenses and the fact that Shinichi would probably be the one discovering his body.

Kaito dropped the cardgun to the floor, going back to his closet and taking out the folded up cardboard boxes that had carried his things into this house in the first place. He need only take a few things. Just a few things for show. He'd obediently move out when Shinichi asked, and then he'd go drown himself in the river or jump off of some skyscraper or something.

There was a knock on the door to announce Shinichi's presence before the detective came in without permission.

Shinichi's eyes widened at the jumble of things scattered on the floor and the state that Kaito was in. Everything was in shambles, like it had been ransacked. Shinichi blinked, taken aback for a moment before he came in and closed the door behind him. He paused when he saw the scarves on the doorknob.

Shinichi's eyes slowly scanned the room and took note of the cardgun and the open window among the chaos. A deep sense of fear and panic gripped him.

"K-Kaito…what are you doing?"

Kaito froze. "…M-Moving out? M-Mouri-chan probably doesn't want me anywhere near her boyfriend, so…"

Shinichi's brain was whirring like a computer as it tried to process everything being thrown at it. He needed to calm down and think. Prioritize. What did he need to do first?

Well, Kaito was not currently holding any kind of dangerous object, nor was there anything in his immediate area that posed a threat, so they could deal with the suicidal issue in a minute. Right now he needed to reassure Kaito and comfort him. Later, after both Kaito and Shinichi were calm, Shinichi could reprimand the magician and tell him what an idiot he was and how life was precious and suicide was just running away and how everyone would be really, really sad if Kaito died.

Shinichi took a deep, cleansing breath. He crossed the room in four strides and wrapped Kaito in a boa constrictor-tight hug. "Kaito, like I said before, I'm not her boyfriend. I'm yours. I'm dating _you_, and you're not going anywhere. I gave this room to you, and you're staying right here. With me."

"B-B-But…" Kaito's brain short-circuited, and tears slowly began to leak out. "You love _her_."

"I _loved_ her. Now I'm falling in love with you. Ran and I broke up on Valentine's Day. I'm with _you_ now," Shinichi whispered into Kaito's ear.

"But…she came back for you. You…you could have gotten back together with her and been happy!" Kaito argued, pushing back

Shinichi shook his head. "I'm not that kind of guy. I'm with you now, Kaito. I chose _you_."

Kaito's face paled, and he shook his head slowly, as if he couldn't believe it. "No. Shinichi, no! I know what it's like to lose the love of your life, and I'd never force that on someone else! It's one thing, if she left you and there's no hope of getting back together, but if she wants you back… Go after her! Forget me!"

"No," Shinichi refused, reaching out for Kaito again.

Kaito dodged, taking a step back. "You're just…you're just doing this because…because of what happened between us on Valentine's. You don't love me…you just…just feel guilty. Shinichi, I don't want you to stay with me out of pity or obligation. I…I couldn't live with myself if I tore you two apart and you ended up miserable and bitter with me. I don't want to ruin someone else's happy ending…. I don't want you to end up hating me, Shinichi," Kaito confessed, tears streaming down his face like banners of sorrow and shame.

Shinichi stepped in and wiped the tears away with his thumbs. "It's not going to be like that, Kaito. Believe me. I'm going to fall in love with you, and we're going to have our own happily ever after. Forget Ran. She's a strong girl; she'll have someone else soon too. It's been over between Ran and me for three weeks, and I'm not going back to her now. I'm _yours_, Kaito, and I'm never going to regret it."

Shinichi said it so firmly, so full of authority that Kaito found himself daring to believe that there might be a future. Shinichi had chosen _him_. Unfortunately, here and now in the present, Kaito felt terrible. There was guilt and a good dose of shame. He was still reeling from his breakdown not minutes before when he had believed himself to be an unlovable reject. He could feel the guilt eating away at his heart like acid. He truly was a home-wrecker, and he was so afraid that Shinichi really would resent him for it someday.

Kaito collapsed into Shinichi's arms, sobbing in a near hysteric fashion.

Shinichi did the best he could to walk them over to the bed to sit down awkwardly as Kaito clung to him and wailed. Shinichi patted his head, playing with Kaito's hair and running a hand down the younger man's back as Shinichi made calming shushing noises like he would for a baby.

Kaito cried himself out in about fifteen minutes, and then Shinichi convinced his boyfriend to lie down for a nap.

"You're alright, Kaito. Everything's going to be fine. In the meantime I'm here for you, so…just…take it easy. Rest. I'll come check on you in a little bit, okay? Or did you want me to stay with you?"

Kaito shook his head weakly. "Go. You said you had work, right?"

"Kaito, I'm not going anywhere with you like this. Haku—Division One can solve the case themselves," Shinichi revised, not wanting to bring up a subject that could potentially plunge Kaito even deeper into the depths of despair and depression. "Tokyo won't fall to the forces of evil if I take one day off to take care of my cute little boyfriend."

"I don't want you to miss work!" Kaito protested.

"Why not?" Shinichi shrugged his left shoulder. "I don't need the money, and the cops will figure it all out eventually. It's just a single killing, not a spree or anything. No one's being held hostage. There's no bomb threat. They don't need me. Would it be faster if I were there helping out? Yeah, probably, but I'm not necessary to the success of this case. Besides, I wouldn't be able to concentrate, even if I did go. I'd be too busy worrying about you, so…just…take a nap, and I'll come check on you in a bit…or did you want me to sit in here with you?"

Shinichi couldn't see Kaito's expression as the magician was currently hiding his face in the pillow, but Kaito's voice when he finally spoke held a mixture of relief and grief. "I'll be okay by myself. Thanks."

"Okay." Shinichi pursed his lips, taking one last look at Kaito before turning to leave. And then the scarves tied to the doorknob caught his eye, and he grimaced. He went over to the window and closed and locked it. He grabbed the cardgun off of the floor and tucked it under his arm before finally moving to the door to confiscate the scarves.

"Kaito?" He called, looking down at the damning evidence in his hands. "You know I love you, right? As a person? As my friend?"

"…" Kaito didn't respond, but there was a rustle of the covers as Kaito squirmed.

"Well, in case you didn't…I love you. You're my precious friend, and if I lost you, I'd be devastated, so…don't ever think that anyone would be better off with you gone. Okay?"

"…Okay," Kaito replied in a very small, shaky voice.

"Good," Shinichi sighed. It was only ten in the morning, and he already felt exhausted. "I'll let you rest now. Call me if you need anything, but—"

Shinichi's phone started to ring, and he groaned when he looked at the caller ID readout. "Sorry. I have to take this. Like I was saying, I'll just be downstairs, and I'll come to check on you before long. Sweet dreams, Kaito."

With that, Shinichi closed the door behind him and answered the call. "Yeah. Hi. I realize I'm late. Don't bother telling me exactly how late I am."

"Forty-seven minutes and twenty-two point six seconds," Detective Hakuba supplied, delighting in annoying the other sleuth.

"Super. Thanks," Shinichi grumbled.

"You're very welcome," Hakuba chuckled. "And when might we be expecting you, oh great Heisei Holmes?"

"Actually, something's come up." Shinichi chewed on his lip nervously, not wanting to tell Hakuba of all people that Kaito was having a suicidal breakdown.

"May I assume that you stumbled across some other crime scene en route to this one?" Hakuba made the logical guess.

"No, I…like I said, something just came up, so… Sorry. Could you tell Megure-keibu that I'm really sorry, but I won't be able to make it?" Shinichi held his breath, hoping that Hakuba wouldn't pry.

"What's happened? Is something the matter, Kudo? You sound quite frazzled."

No such luck. Nosey Brit.

"It's fine. Don't worry about it," Shinichi tried to force his voice to convey calm and levity.

"Is Kaito alright?" Panic began to creep into Hakuba's voice. "It's Kaito, isn't it?"

Shinichi hung his head with a sigh, going to sit at the top of the stairs. "Don't wig out on me, Hakuba; he's going to be fine. He's just a little upset right now."

"So upset that you can't leave him alone for a few hours to investigate a murder," Hakuba accused. "Kudo, you leave your girlfriend in the middle of dates and stop talking mid-sentence to go investigate murders. When someone screams, you take off like a shot with the single-minded focus of a hound on the hunt. You wouldn't be sitting this out unless the situation was truly dire, now tell me what the smegging hell is wrong with Kaito."

Shinichi sighed for what felt like the hundredth time that hour. Hakuba was pretty pissed if he was whipping out the word "smeg". "Don't panic. He's calmed down a little, and I honestly think he's going to be okay, but some stuff happened this morning, and he was…extremely upset. I talked him down, but…it was really bad, Hakuba…scary bad."

There was a long stretch of silence, and in the background Shinichi could hear the various goings on at the crime scene. Finally Hakuba spoke.

"What do you need me to do? Is there any way I can be of assistance? I mean…can I _do_ anything? Anything at all?" His voice sounded strained…pained…desperate. "I know I can't just come over there—that'd only make things all the worse, but… Kudo?"

"Help me help him," Shinichi entreated. "You've known him longer and better than I have. He's upset. What do I do?"

"Distract him," Hakuba replied with certainty. "He tends to wallow, if left to think and sulk."

"Okay. Distract him. Got it." Shinichi took mental notes. "…How?"

"Chocolate always works," Hakuba chuckled fondly, remembering his darling and the times they had shared together. "Chocolate and sex are the best ways."

Shinichi's face turned candy apple red.

Suddenly a thought occurred to Hakuba, snapping him out of his reverie. "Just so you know, if you lay a hand on him, I will kill you in a very slow, unpleasant manner. Don't touch him." And then a second later, "On second thought, _do_ touch him. I don't know if it still works, but there's a spot behind his left ear that drives him crazy if you lick it. Not that I am recommending your tongue come anywhere near his person, mind you. It should do just fine to rub or scratch behind his ears. He also enjoys having the outer shell of his ears massaged."

Shinichi was learning an awful lot of things about Kaito and Hakuba's relationship that he'd rather not know. He didn't want the mental pictures that went along with Hakuba's suggestions. He didn't want to think about Kaito being driven crazy by anyone else.

"I'll give it a try." Several months from now when their relationship got to that physical level. "What else? Chocolate and head rubs aren't going to distract him forever."

"Watching a movie works well too," Hakuba replied. "You wouldn't happen to have any of the Muppet movies, would you?"

"Uh…no." Hn.

"He's a fan," Hakuba continued to laugh softly at the memories of Kaito. "His favorite character is Gonzo. If Kaito's feeling so miserable, you should watch…oh, what is it? The one where Gonzo meets his family. The space one. Or, if you'd rather, watch the one with the jewel heist—The Great Muppet Caper. Heck, watch both, if necessary. You could probably find them online, but I'll give you my Netflix account information."

"T-Thanks, Hakuba." Shinichi was really glad he had asked.

"Don't mention it. As you already know, I'm doing this for him…. Well, ninety-nine point nine repeating percent of it is for him. The rest…you're my friend, Kudo. We may get on each other's nerves most of the time, but…you're my friend, and I don't have a lot of those. I'd gladly help you out of a bind, even if Kaito wasn't a factor. You just never need my help."

Shinichi was about to reply in gratitude and reciprocity and a whole lot of other sappy emotions, affirming their friendship and assuring Hakuba that he too had the other detective's back, but the blonde continued speaking, mind right back to Kaito as soon as he'd said his peace.

"It is my understanding that you cook quite well. If you could make him something smothered in cheese, I'm sure he'd enjoy that. Apparently his father used to make him some kind of rice and vegetable casserole dripping in cheese whenever he was sick, so that always makes him feel better. Make sure he eats something nutritious for dinner, though. And do make sure he eats; he tends to forget…well, all the time, but especially when he's upset. Let's see….what else? I suppose, if all else fails, challenge him to something inane and childish. He can't resist a challenge. Just say something like 'I bet I can fit more grapes into my mouth at one time than you can.' That should distract him enough that he leaves off pouting. His record is thirty-nine, by the way."

Shinichi couldn't help a snort of laughter at this. "Okay. Thanks, Hakuba. I'll give it all a try."

"Feel free to call me, if you need me," Hakuba offered and then softly added, "Please call me, even if you don't need me. Let me know how he's doing."

"I will," Shinichi promised. "Don't worry too much, Hakuba. You focus on solving the case; I'll take care of Kaito."

Hakuba took a deep breath, slowly letting it out. "Alright. I trust you."

"Thank you for that. Really," Shinichi replied, knowing what a big deal it was for Hakuba to entrust Shinichi with the wellbeing of the man that Hakuba loved. "I'll call you later."

"I'll be waiting."

Shinichi sighed again as the line disconnected. And things had been going _so_ well up until the second that that damn doorbell rang.

He took a minute to compose himself, staring at the door to his boyfriend's room as apprehension built. He didn't want to deal with Kaito; he wanted to go sulk and despair over the loss of Ran. He mentally scolded himself for that. Kaito needed him, and he had accepted the duty of caring for the magician when he had asked Kaito out. Shinichi had voluntarily taken that task upon himself, and it wasn't fair to Kaito for Shinichi to shirk his responsibilities now.

Shinichi _couldn't_ turn his back on Kaito now just because things had gotten a little difficult. Shinichi had been able to fool himself to some extent about Kaito's condition while things had been going relatively well, but now Shinichi had seen Kaito in shambles, and that was not something that Shinichi could turn a blind eye to.

Kaito needed him, and Shinichi would be there.

With another deep breath, Shinichi got to his feet and headed back to Kaito's room.

…

Mikau: There. How was that? Yes, yes. Depressing. I know. Well, they have to go through struggles together in order for their relationship to grow stronger. Next chapter will tie things up in a nice and pretty fashion, I promise. Drop me a line and let me know what you thought if you have a second. Thanks a bunch guys! It's been so great hearing that you all are enjoying this fic. Take care until next time!


	6. In the Wake of the Storm

Mikau: Hi everybody! I just want to say thank you so much for all of your reviews last time. It was amazing to receive such overwhelming support last chapter. I got hit with a huge case of writer's block this weekend, and it was honestly really hard to get this chapter done. Knowing that you guys were counting on me and really enjoying the story was the only thing that kept me going when I kept hitting wall after wall, so, from the bottom of my heart, thank you: Bunnyz-chan, Kathrine Apollo Karma, Miko Vampire, foreverandeveralone, DetectivePandaThief, patternleap, mochiusagi, MeitanteiRose, and ! That being said, whenever I have writer's block I do prompt writing, so I've got some new KaiShin/HakuKai shorts in their respective fics. I also have a new HakuKai story, "Pulling Your Strings", on the Magic Kaito section of this site, if you feel like taking a look. Thanks again, guys!

Disclaimer: If I owned it, we'd be in trouble because I get writer's block a lot. However, if Aoyama-sensei were looking for someone to take over, I'd gladly volunteer. I think I could steer the series in a direction that would make the fan base happy. I'd need help with all of the murders, but there would definitely be more romance and plot development. It'd turn into shounen ai, but somehow I don't think you guys would have a problem with that.

…

Chapter Six: In the Wake of the Storm

Home-wrecker. The word echoed incessantly inside Kaito's head.

He burrowed under the pillow, trying to deafen the accusations, but they rang louder, pealing like church bells.

He had to tell Shinichi the truth. He had to fess up that Shinichi had never slept with him, and then Shinichi would be free to curse at Kaito and leave. Kaito couldn't drag Shinichi down alongside himself. Shinichi deserved to be happy, and Kaito needed to disappear. That was the only way that Shinichi would be free.

There was a knock on the door before it opened without further notice.

Kaito stiffened as he realized he'd been caught. He didn't want Shinichi to see him like this, but there was no way the detective hadn't heard the sobs and seen Kaito's body shake.

It was mortifying, being caught in this state. He wished he could just disintegrate at will, disappear and be ferried off by the wind. He didn't want anyone to see and know that he was weak, unstable…a disgrace.

He felt the mattress shift as Shinichi laid down on the bed beside him, pulling the pillow away and then wrapping his arms around Kaito like a straightjacket.

"Shh," Shinichi mumbled into Kaito's neck, burying his face in Kaito's hair. "Shh. You're okay, Kaito. Don't cry." He pressed a wet, sloppy kiss to the junction of Kaito's neck and jaw, right behind his left ear.

Kaito shivered in pleasure, distant memories of Saguru sifting to the surface. He screwed his eyes shut, pushing the memories away and focusing on the present: the contact, the warmth.

"I promised I'd never make you cry," Shinichi muttered, pressing another kiss half an inch above the first one. "But it looks like I've done a really crappy job of keeping that promise. I'm sorry, Kaito."

Kaito hiccupped, tears still cascading down his cheeks. "Sh-Shin-chan," he choked.

"Shh. Oh, Kaito. I just wish I knew how to make you feel better," Shinichi whispered, nuzzling the nape of Kaito's neck. "Talk to me. What do you need from me right now?"

Kaito shook his head, feeling utterly foolish.

"Is it reassurance? Comfort? Food? God, I'm such a sucky boyfriend."

"Y-You're not. I a-am," Kaito argued.

Suddenly Kaito found himself flat on his back with Shinichi on top of him. He barely contained an undignified squeak as Shinichi pinned Kaito's arms.

"You know what your problem is?" Shinichi inquired levelly, as if he were completely unaffected by the position they were in.

Kaito shook his head, stunned speechless for a change.

"You're overthinking again," Shinichi accused. "You're still hung up on Ran, right? Rather…hung up on the thought that I'm allegedly still hung up on Ran, right?"

Kaito nodded wordlessly, a little dazzled by his beloved's face mere inches from his own.

"Well, like I said before, Ran and I are done. We've been done for three weeks now. Now I'm with you, and I swear to be faithful. I'll only have eyes for you. Do you believe that?" Shinichi posed the question.

Kaito averted his eyes and shook his head.

"Why not? Do you think I'm a liar?"

"O-Of course not!" Kaito rushed to deny it, accidentally meeting Shinichi's enthralling gaze. "Of…of course I don't."

"Then why not?" Shinichi challenged, fixing Kaito with an intense, soul-smoldering stare.

"…Because…I don't deserve…_I'm_ no good," Kaito mumbled, eyes looking away yet again.

Shinichi took Kaito by the jaw and forced the magician to look at him as he glared. "Don't you dare talk about my boyfriend like that."

Kaito blinked. "I…I mean… But…"

"No," Shinichi snorted. "No buts, and no trying to explain it away. You don't talk about Kaito like that. You insult him, you've insulted me. My boyfriend is sweet and compassionate and kind. He's brave and clever and absolutely brilliant. He's funny and fun to be around. He might be a little dim at times, and he's reckless and stubborn, but Kaito is a beautiful human being. He _is_ good, and I won't let you badmouth him."

Kaito's entire body burned as he gave Shinichi a teary-eyed smile. "I love you," he whispered. "Oh, God, I love you."

"And I treasure you," Shinichi returned, touching his forehead to Kaito's. "You're wonderful and precious and dear to me, Kaito, so…don't write yourself off so easily. Don't forget that you're important to me. I treasure you, therefore, if you really love me, you'll treasure yourself. Take care of yourself because you're important to me, Kaito."

Kaito nodded, wanting so badly to reach up and pull Shinichi down on top of himself.

But then Shinichi rolled off of him, and the moment was over.

"A little better?" Shinichi asked with a soft smile as he came up to sitting.

Kaito sat up as well with another nod. "Yeah, a little."

Shinichi cupped Kaito's cheek, giving his boyfriend a serious look. "Don't doubt me so much. I know it's hard, but…please try to trust that I honestly care about you and intend to see this through to the end…that I'm in this for the long haul…. Also…don't doubt _yourself_ so much. _I_ like you, so there must be _something_ good about you, right? I mean, I don't think I'm a bad judge of character."

"You think all people who like Sherlock Holmes are automatically good people," Kaito snorted defiantly.

"…Okay, so…maybe I'm not the best judge of character, but…well, at the very least, I don't think I have bad taste in men, so…?"

Kaito had to chuckle at this.

"There it is," Shinichi returned the laugh. "Your smile's so pretty, Kaito. It makes me want to smile too."

"F-Flatterer." Kaito blushed.

Shinichi reached out and ruffled Kaito's hair. "Come downstairs. We're gonna watch a movie—something completely silly to put you back in a good mood."

"O-Okay," Kaito agreed hesitantly as Shinichi took his hand and pulled him off of the bed.

Kaito couldn't help but smile softly as Shinichi towed Kaito into the living room and forced him to make himself comfortable on the couch while Shinichi got the movie going.

The way Shinichi acted and spoke…all the things he said, they made Kaito dizzy. His head swam when Shinichi spoke because Shinichi spoke truth…truths that Kaito had long forgotten.

He'd forgotten that he was worth something. He'd forgotten that he was precious. It'd completely slipped his mind that other people might miss him if he disappeared. Kaito had forgotten that he made a difference…that he mattered…that he was Kuroba Kaito, and that that meant something. He was not a waste of space. Kaito had a purpose.

Shinichi sunk into the couch beside him, slinging an arm around Kaito's shoulders and pulling Kaito over so that he was resting against Shinichi with his head on Shinichi's chest. "Comfy?"

"Y-Yeah," Kaito stuttered, happiness welling up inside as Shinichi kissed the top of his head.

"Good," the detective chuckled, pressing play. "Just let me know if you need anything, and feel free to move if your arm starts falling asleep in that position."

"'Kay," Kaito chuckled right back, feeling giddy. He liked this. It felt like they were actually dating. "What are we even watching?"

Shinichi shrugged, leaning back and resting his own head on top of Kaito's.

"The Muppets!" Kaito squealed in glee like a small child as the title screen came up. "Shin-chan, you like the Muppets too?"

"I don't know. Honestly, I've never seen them. A friend recommended this." He wasn't even fibbing, but Shinichi didn't feel right skirting around the fact that it had been Hakuba that had suggested the film.

"One of the pipsqueaks?" Kaito didn't catch on.

"It's funny how you still call them that when both Mitsuhiko and Genta are bigger than you now," Shinichi snickered.

With a shrug, Kaito settled in to watch the movie.

They took a break for lunch after that, untangling themselves and getting up to stretch before heading into the kitchen.

"I feel like cooking something. What do you want?" Shinichi asked as he went over to check the fridge. "We'll need to go shopping soon."

"Anything is fine. I can just eat whatever you prepped for my lunch this morning." Kaito came to take a peek over Shinichi's shoulder.

"It'll still be good tomorrow. Let's make something for now," Shinichi pressed.

Kaito bit his lip and went over to search the cabinets. He shrugged and grabbed a bag of chocolate-covered fruit to bring back into the living room to snack on during the continuation of their movie marathon. "Honestly, I'll eat whatever you wanna make, Shin-chan."

"How about…some kind of casserole or maybe potatoes covered in a cheese sauce? Cheese sounds good at the moment. What do you think?" Shinichi really hoped he wasn't being too obvious.

It would probably just upset Kaito even more if he found out about the relationship between Shinichi and Hakuba that had been growing for several years now behind Kaito's back. It wasn't as if Shinichi was doing anything wrong, asking the obsessive ex-husband for help, right? Actually, Hakuba would probably be incensed whenever he found out that Shinichi was dating Kaito, and Kaito would probably cry and throw things and get all emo if he found out that Shinichi had been carrying on a friendship with the bastard that had broken Kaito's heart. It was a sticky situation all around.

"…I'd like that," Kaito replied after a beat. "There's actually a dish like that that my dad used to make, and we've got pretty much everything we need. I mean, it's just rice and cheese and whatever chopped veggies you want to throw in there, but… How's that sound?"

"Yeah. Sounds good." Shinichi gave his boyfriend an encouraging smile. That had actually gone quite smoothly. "I'll get out the vegetables, if you want to start the rice?"

"Un," Kaito agreed, setting to work.

It was actually a lot of fun, cooking with Kaito. They flicked things at each other and laughed, and there were plenty of opportunities to get close and touch, like when showing Kaito how to chop up the vegetables properly.

"Just watch your fingers, Kaito," Shinichi warned, coming up behind him and reaching around to guide Kaito's hands. "A magician's fingers are an important tool; you don't want to injure yours."

"…It's okay," Kaito whispered sorrowfully. "I'm not a magician anymore."

"Sure you are," Shinichi insisted, deep frown lines spreading across his forehead. "You do tricks all the time. You spend hours practicing."

Kaito shook his head, putting down the knife and turning around in Shinichi's light hold. "It's become more of a hobby now. I'm not…I'm not a real magician."

"Says the great Kaitou Kid," Shinichi snorted. "I know you're retired, but it sounds like you need to go pull a heist or something. Your self-esteem has plummeted over the past few years without a crowd of adoring fans screaming your name."

Kaito smiled sadly, looking away. "Geez, I really was a stupid kid, wasn't I? Always so full of myself."

"I'd like it if you could get a little of that arrogance back," Shinichi confessed, reaching up to cup Kaito's cheek. "To be honest, I always did kind of find your inflated ego attractive. Annoying, but really attractive."

"Sorry to disappoint," Kaito laughed bitterly.

"Not at all," Shinichi assured, stopping Kaito from averting his eyes. "You're _more_ than I bargained for in all of the best ways."

"You're just saying that to cheer me up," Kaito hummed, appreciating Shinichi's tactical skill.

"No, but I do enjoy seeing you happy." Shinichi leaned in and kissed Kaito on the forehead. "Your smile makes me feel like all of the bad stuff I deal with on a daily basis isn't so bad….. Not that it isn't _bad_, but…when you smile at me, I feel like everything's going to be okay…like I can keep going."

"You…you say the sweetest things," Kaito whispered, leaning in slowly. He hesitantly inched forward, wanting to kiss Shinichi but knowing that Shinichi probably didn't want to kiss him. It hurt knowing that Shinichi would probably kiss back out of some warped sense of duty, but…

Shinichi looked at him as if he were dear…important, and it made Kaito's body burn. There _was_ desire there. There _was_ hope. Time was what Shinichi had said that he needed, and Kaito was beginning to believe that that might really be the case. It might just be a matter of time before Shinichi really and truly wanted _him_.

Kaito paused, lips mere inches away from Shinichi's. "You…you said that you'd only have eyes for me. Are you sure you won't regret it?"

"Why bother looking at anybody else when I could be looking at you?" Shinichi closed the distance between them and planted a kiss on Kaito's cheek before pulling back with a smile. "The rice is done."

Kaito nodded, feeling a little disappointed that Shinichi hadn't kissed him on the lips. But then he realized that Shinichi had kissed him on the _cheek_. That was a step up from being kissed on the forehead and temples like a small child. A kiss on the cheek meant intimacy. True, it wasn't what Kaito had wanted, but it was progress.

"And, yes, Kaito. I'm positive that I'm not going to regret you. You're good for me," Shinichi informed as he scooped the rice out into the casserole dish. "You may not have realized it, but you've been taking care of me too while you've been here. Because of you, I've been forced to take care of myself, and, like I said before, your smile has helped me through a lot. You have no idea what a comfort it is to have you here waiting for me with a big smile and dinner after I come home from a difficult case. You're not the only one being taken care of, Kaito. This is _not_ a one-sided relationship. You're healing me too."

"Yeah?" Kaito inquired hopefully as he brought over the veggies to add to the pan.

"Definitely," Shinichi confirmed, nuzzling Kaito's hair as he took the chopped vegetables from him.

After lunch, the couple headed back to the living room to watch another movie, and Shinichi was happy to find that Kaito seemed to be doing a little better. His boyfriend was chuckling and smiling as he snuggled with Shinichi and munched on the chocolate-covered berries he'd brought in from the kitchen.

"Can I have one?" Shinichi gave Kaito the puppy-dog eyes.

Kaito smirked, taking out a single berry and pressing it to Shinichi's lips.

The detective opened his mouth and got some of Kaito's fingers along with the berry. He gave the digits an appreciative suck as Kaito withdrew them, earning a gleeful giggle from the magician.

They were about halfway through the movie when the doorbell rang.

Kaito shivered and grumbled, "_You_ get it this time. I have had my fill of unexpected guests for the next month."

"No problem," Shinichi mumbled, pressing a kiss to Kaito's cheek before getting up to get the door himself.

He was surprised to find a deliveryman there holding what appeared to be a large flower arrangement.

"A delivery for a Kuroba Kaito-sama," the young man announced.

"Uh…Yeah…Where do I sign?" Shinichi blinked rapidly.

The deliveryman handed over the arrangement and then went back to the car to get the large box of chocolates that went with it.

Shinichi thanked the man kindly for his hard work and then turned and called for his boyfriend.

Kaito warily peeked his head around the corner and raised an eyebrow when he saw the flowers and chocolates. "What's…all this?"

"Delivery for you." Shinichi shrugged. "Check the card; does it say who it's from?"

With a puzzled look, Kaito went over to the flowers and plucked the envelope from its pick. "Your smile shines like starlight, inspiring lovers and poets and guiding the lost through the darkness. Smile. You're beautiful. With love always," Kaito read in a whisper.

Kaito turned back to Shinichi with a rosy blush and a light grin. "Shin-chan, you didn't have to do all this," Kaito giggled, wrapping his arms around Shinichi's neck.

"I…I didn't." Shinichi blinked in confusion.

"Of course you didn't." Kaito rolled his eyes. "It's no use playing dumb; who else would send me flowers and chocolates? The only other person that could possibly have an inkling that I'm feeling like manure today is Mouri-chan, and somehow I doubt she'd send me mushy romantic stuff. There's no use denying it, Shinichi, so…thank you." Kaito leaned in and placed a grateful kiss on Shinichi's cheek.

"But I really…" Shinichi trailed off as a realization struck him like a static shock.

Hakuba. This reeked of Hakuba.

Shinichi was tempted to call the other detective and tell him to back off Shinichi's boyfriend…but then Hakuba would probably flip because Shinichi "wasn't worthy" of Kaito or something. And there was the fact that Shinichi had kind of neglected to tell the good detective that Shinichi was dating Hakuba's ex-husband…whom Hakuba was still in love with. Somehow, Shinichi did not see the revelation ending well.

On top of that mess, it probably wouldn't do to have Kaito knowing that Hakuba knew what was going on. Kaito'd probably be furious with Shinichi. It also probably wasn't a good idea for Kaito to find out where the mushy romantic stuff had actually come from. It'd most likely make the young man mopey and angsty and possibly suicidal again.

"Uh…what I meant was…I didn't order them directly myself," Shinichi chuckled sheepishly as he fibbed, placing his hands at the small of Kaito's back. "I called a friend, and he ordered them."

"Oh, I see." Kaito seemed to accept Shinichi's words at face value.

Shinichi made a mental note to only fib to Kaito in case of emergencies. After all, being less than truthful is what screwed up Shinichi's relationship with Ran.

"Who? Was it a cop friend?" Kaito asked innocently.

"Y-Yeah." Somehow Shinichi still felt guilty, even though it wasn't a lie. It felt so wrong hiding his friendship with Hakuba from Kaito. "I'm…I'm glad you like them. The flowers are to apologize for dragging you through hell today and to remind you that you're precious…. And I thought you could use some chocolate after all that you've been through today, so…"

"Thank you, Shinichi," Kaito giggled again, letting go of his hold and moving to inspect the flowers and chocolates.

"You're welcome." It was good to see Kaito smile. It made Shinichi feel less crumby about hiding the truth. "Hey, I've got a call to make, but I'll be back in a minute, and then we can finish watching the movie, okay?"

"Sure. I'll be here." Kaito waved over his shoulder, pulling out his own phone as Shinichi headed upstairs where Kaito wouldn't overhear.

Kaito frowned down at his phone. He had a text from Sonoko: "Ran just called me. 1) Are you absolutely insane?! What the hell is wrong with you?! What were you thinking?! 2) Kai-chan, are you okay?"

Kaito smiled, nearly crying in relief. Sonoko hadn't thrown him out of her life after all. She still cared, even though Kaito was a home-wrecking, boyfriend-stealing slut. She was still his friend, and she was worried about him.

"Of course I'm nuts. You should know that about me by now. And, yeah, I'm okay. At least…I think I'm going to be. Today was…rough, Sono-chan," he quickly typed back a reply.

"Just don't do anything stupid," she warned sternly. "I love you, you dork. Meet me for coffee tomorrow to talk about it?"

"That sounds good. Thanks, Sono-chan. You're the best."

"Anything for my Kid-sama," she replied with a wink.

Meanwhile, Shinichi was upstairs checking in with a different blonde.

"How is he?" Hakuba demanded without so much as a greeting.

Shinichi rolled his eyes. Typical Hakuba. "Kaito seems to be doing a little better now. He…has a lot more emotional baggage than I thought…."

"Of course he does," Hakuba sighed. "Not everyone has to deal with the death of their idolized father at a young age, the realization that said father was murdered and an evil-crime-syndicate-fighting vigilante. And then there's the added stress of hiding from and lying to the woman he loved, finally getting to be with her for a year and then having that blow up in his face, and…utter betrayal and abandonment by his husband on top of all of that. Kaito's had it rough. Touichi-san, Aoko, and I have really put him through the wringer."

Not to mention the suffering and torment that Shinichi was putting Kaito through.

"Yeah," Shinichi whispered. "…Hey, listen. He got the flowers and chocolates you sent. He thinks they're from me, and I didn't want to tell him the truth for fear of upsetting him even more, so… Sorry."

"That's quite alright." Hakuba shrugged it off without a second thought. "If it makes him happy to think they're from you, so be it. So long as he isn't imploding anymore. Did he like them?"

Shinichi smiled softly. "Yeah. Yeah, he did. Thanks, Hakuba…for everything that you've done today. You've been a huge help."

"I really didn't do much," the blonde chuckled. "So long as it's all working out."

"…Hey, Hakuba?" Shinichi bit his lip, wondering if he should even ask.

"Hm?"

"…Do you…do you ever regret it? Letting Kaito go? You seem pretty content with your life the way things are, but…" Shinichi knew he shouldn't have said anything the moment the words left his tongue. Why had he given in to his curiosity?

Hakuba gave a soft snort. He didn't sound angry. "Well, that's a stupid question if I've ever heard one. Try every day of my miserable life. I'd give anything to have him back. I was stupid and rash and stubborn…. Don't take him for granted, Kudo. You're so blessed just to have him in your life, and I envy you for that."

Shinichi nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm starting to realize that."

"Just…take care of him. Please. There's so little I can do for him, so…take care of him in my stead. I know I have no right to ask this of you, Kudo…it's my fault…because of my pig-headed stupidity he's even more of a mess than when he first came into my care, but…I love him. Please, take care of him on my behalf."

"Don't worry, Hakuba. I promise I will. I swear to you I'll look after him," Shinichi vowed, knowing that Hakuba would be screaming for Shinichi to keep the hell away from Kaito if the blonde knew what was really going on.

Hakuba sighed in relief. "Good. Very good. Thank you, Kudo, and…thank you for calling me with an update."

"Oh yeah. How'd the case go?" Shinichi had completely forgotten.

Saguru shrugged. "All wrapped up except for the paperwork. It was the lover. Always the lover or the jilted spouse…the girlfriend…the boyfriend…the husband…the wife. Far too often people kill the ones that they're supposed to love and protect."

"I'll never understand it," Shinichi sighed.

"Really? I'm surprised that you don't already," Hakuba hummed. "You have Mouri-san, after all. I didn't understand until I had Kaito, and then it became all too clear to me how someone could commit the atrocities I dealt with. I could easily understand…however, that's not to say that I could condone their actions or act in the same manner myself, but…when I considered their circumstances and thought 'What if it was Kaito and me?'…so easily does passionate love sour and deteriorate into passionate hate."

"I think that's the difference between the two of us, Hakuba," Shinichi replied softly. "You care a lot more about the motives behind things, always asking 'Why?'. I don't like putting myself in the murder's head any more than I have to to establish their motive."

"I think it's because I'm always struggling to understand," Hakuba mused. "In the back of my mind, I think that if I can understand, maybe I can foresee and stop future similar occurrences. Just a thought. You should get back to Kaito."

Shinichi shook his head. "You're always thinking about him. I feel sorry for your poor wife."

"Why? It's not like she cares." Saguru gave an eye roll right back. "Ours isn't exactly a love match. Don't get me wrong, I'm very fond of Aoko, but…my heart still belongs to Kaito, and she knows that…. Hers does too, after all, no matter how hard she tries to pretend that she hates him."

And that was a bombshell right there. Aoko still loved Kaito?!

Shinichi felt his heart constrict as a surge of annoyance flowed through him. He felt this strong urge to hide Kaito away, protect him from both Hakuba and Aoko who could potentially steal him back from Shinichi.

"How is your wife, by the way?" Shinichi mumbled.

"Pregnant, apparently," Saguru returned nonchalantly. "As far as I can tell, the child is mine. We don't mate very frequently, but, to my knowledge, she doesn't have a lover, and the time of conception seems right, since she's two months along."

Shinichi was torn between the urge to one, freak out because of the announcement; two, vomit due to the oversharing of the details of Hakuba's love life; and, three, hit the blonde for being so inappropriately mellow about the topic of his firstborn child.

Shinichi did a combination of one and three. "Dude! Your wife is pregnant! You're going to be a dad! How can you spring that on me as if you're telling me about the weather?!"

Saguru shrugged. "Frankly, I'm a little melancholy about it. It makes my separation from Kaito feel…final. My life is moving on without him regardless of whether I want it to or not, and…just…Kaito's always wanted children…enough to create his own basketball team…. It doesn't seem right…having a child without him."

Shinichi nodded. "Yeah…sorry, Hakuba."

"It's quite alright. I brought this all upon myself. Thank you, though, Kudo," Hakuba chuckled softly, full of remorse, but not lacking hope. "Now, seriously: get back to Kaito."

"Okay. Call me if you need me for anything," Shinichi offered, not quite sure what he could possibly do to help. "I'll give you an update tomorrow, but I think Kaito'll be fine. Don't worry too much, Hakuba."

"Thanks, Kudo."

…

When Shinichi came back downstairs he found Kaito curled up on the couch with his box of chocolates. Shinichi settled in beside his boyfriend, and the two spent the rest of the evening pleasantly watching movies.

It was about nine o'clock when Kaito's eyes started drifting shut, and Shinichi decided it was bedtime.

"I don't know why I'm so tired; I just spent the day lying around, cuddling with you," Kaito yawned as Shinichi half dragged him up the steps.

"It's probably just mental fatigue and emotional exhaustion. I feel it too." Shinichi stifled his own yawn.

"Ha. Made ya yawn!" Kaito tittered, yawning again.

Shinichi rolled his eyes. "Are you going to be able to take a bath by yourself, or do I have to worry about you accidentally drowning?"

"I'll just take a quick shower." Kaito shrugged, going to get his pajamas, towel, and other supplies from his room.

Shinichi reached out and lightly took hold of Kaito's arm.

Kaito cocked his head to the side in question at the gesture.

Shinichi bit his lip, the beginnings of a blush rising on his cheeks. "Uh…sorry…it's just…come to my room once you're done, okay?"

"Sure." Kaito easily agreed, even though he found the request puzzling.

He did as asked, reporting to Shinichi's room after his quick shower, only to find that Shinichi had beat Kaito, showering even faster.

"What's up?" Kaito stood awkwardly in the doorway, hanging on the doorjamb.

Shinichi motioned him in. "Hey, so…do you think that maybe you could sleep in here tonight?"

Kaito's mouth dropped open.

"I mean…just sleeping," Shinichi quickly amended "Sorry. I…sorry. Just sleeping."

Kaito held back a grimace. "Shin-chan, thanks, but…I think I'm okay. You don't have to go out of your way to—"

"—It's not just for you," Shinichi quietly cut him off, looking away in embarrassment. "It's for me too."

Kaito's eyes narrowed. "What do you mean?"

"I mean…I've had a bad day too," Shinichi mumbled, the tips of his ears going red. "Ran is important to me, and I'm still feeling the loss of that relationship. What happened earlier kind of just rubbed salt in and aggravated my wounds. Plus…you're important to me too, Kaito, and…everything that happened today with you…I was really scared when I realized how easily I could have lost you."

Shinichi finally summoned up his nerve and looked at Kaito. "Kaito, I had a bad day, and I could really use some comfort from my boyfriend right now. Will you sleep in my room tonight?"

"How the hell could I refuse when you ask so sweetly?" Kaito flopped down on the bed with a mischievous chuckle. "Don't worry, Shin-chan. I'm here for you." Kaito gave Shinichi's cheek a big, sloppy kiss. "Mwha."

"Geez," Shinichi laughed softly, drawing Kaito in for a one-armed hug. "Thanks."

"Hey, anytime you want me in your bed, just say the word." Kaito beamed.

Shinichi rolled his eyes. "Night, night, Kaito. I'm turning off the light now."

"Wait," Kaito called hesitantly, a little thought still niggling at the back of his mind.

Shinichi raised an eyebrow.

Kaito cupped Shinichi's cheek and leaned in close to study the detective's face.

"W-Wha-What?" Shinichi gulped, eyes meeting Kaito's entrancing lilac orbs. He found himself subconsciously studying Kaito as well.

Kaito smiled as his fingers skimmed Shinichi's cheeks and jaw and lips and brow. He held back a triumphant grin and a shout of glee as he saw Shinichi's eyes dilating. He let one hand run down Shinichi's neck, finding the pulse there racing in arousal.

"Nothing," Kaito whispered, placing a little goodnight kiss on Shinichi's cheek. Secretly he was overjoyed at his boyfriend's physiological reactions. Lust was good. _Very_ good. Lust meant that there was something there between them. Desire was imperative. If Shinichi felt nothing for Kaito and was simply filling the role of boyfriend solely out of duty…so long as there was a real, genuine attraction between them, Kaito could allow himself to believe Shinichi's oaths and vows of fidelity and, one day, love.

"It's nothing," Kaito repeated, kissing Shinichi's cheek again. "Night, night, Shin-chan."

"Night." Shinichi hit the light, and they both slipped under the covers, each of them a little nervous.

The bed was pretty big, but it wasn't big enough for them to stretch out comfortably without encroaching on the other's personal space. They lay there awkward and still for a solid fifteen minutes.

"We didn't used to have a problem doing this," Kaito mumbled, partially into the pillow.

"We didn't used to be dating. That was back before I knew that you liked me," Shinichi pointed out, mentally kicking himself for all of the insensitive crap he had done to Kaito during their friendship.

"Why does that make a difference?" Kaito wondered out loud.

"It just does." Shinichi shrugged, flipping over onto his left side. "I feel like…now that I know, it's my duty to be careful with you and not hurt you," he explained shoddily.

Kaito snorted, rolling onto his back. "You're my boyfriend. One of these days you're going to be putting me through my paces on this mattress, and I like it rough. I'm not fragile, Shinichi. I don't see any point in being careful with me now just because you know that my feelings are a little more involved in this than you originally thought."

Shinichi bit his lip, wholeheartedly disagreeing. Still, it wouldn't do much good to tell Kaito that Shinichi thought the other youth was very much fragile and in need of care and protection.

"I just…even if you don't think it's necessary, this is one of the ways that I show I care about you," Shinichi murmured.

Kaito was quiet for a few beats before he rolled onto his side so that his back was to Shinichi. "I'll just have to learn to like it, then…. I still don't want you treating me like a porcelain doll, though. I did just fine before you found out."

Shinichi wanted to ask: "Did you? Did you really? Didn't I haphazardly harm you again and again with my insensitive comments and jokes? The careless way that I treated you?"

"I'm cold," Kaito whined a minute or so later, inching backwards towards Shinichi.

The detective was thankful for the darkness hiding his cherry red cheeks. "Want me to get you another blanket or something?"

"Nah. Then I'll be hot, and that's worse." Kaito scooted closer, crossing the centerline of the bed.

Shinichi gulped.

"Just stay still and let me leech your body heat."

Kaito came close enough that their feet accidentally touched under the covers.

"Kaito, your feet are like popsicles!" Shinichi suppressed a full-body shudder. "You seriously were cold, weren't you?"

"Duh," Kaito snorted. "What? Did you think I was just hitting on you?"

"…Maybe?" Shinichi chewed at the inside of his cheek.

Kaito rolled his eyes.

"Here." Shinichi tentatively pulled Kaito in closer so that his chest was just an inch or two away from Kaito's back.

They stayed almost completely still like that for a minute, Kaito enjoying the closeness and warmth but too afraid to really get comfortable in case Shinichi decided that this was too much. Meanwhile, Shinichi was trying not to breathe in the scent of Kaito's body wash. Warm vanilla sugar. Mmm. Kaito smelled like a cookie, and it was making Shinichi hungry in more ways than one.

"Kaito, is this helping, or am I just torturing you?" Shinichi whispered in the dark as he hesitantly wrapped an arm around his boyfriend.

"A little bit of both, actually," Kaito laughed. "Mostly helping, though. Thanks, Shin-chan."

"Yeah, no problem." Shinichi swallowed hard and tried to take slow, deep breaths.

Shinichi really had to hand it to Kaito. Shinichi was pretty sure he had been straight his whole life, but he certainly was being turned on to the idea of giving men a shot quickly by Kaito.

Shinichi was careful to keep his hips pulled back so that only his upper body pressed against Kaito's. "Are you warming up?"

"Un," Kaito agreed sleepily, starting to drift off.

Shinichi, however, knew he wouldn't be getting sleep anytime soon. This was reminding him a little too much of the sleepless nights he had spent as Conan whenever he'd been forced to snuggle with Ran. Kaito seemed to have a similar effect.

That was good, though, Shinichi supposed. He was obviously physically attracted to Kaito, and he already knew that he and the other young man had a solid foundation as friends. All that was left was for those pieces to come together naturally and grow into genuine affection like Shinichi had had for Ran.

It would be a long road, that was for sure, but seeing Kaito asleep in his arms convinced Shinichi that it was possible…that it would all work out…given time.

…

Mikau: Haha. Aren't they cute? It was good to be able to end this chapter on an up-note since last chapter was so depressing overall. Well, a lot happened this chapter it feels like. What did you think? Like I said in the intro, I have a bad case of writer's block, and it was a struggle to get this one out. I don't know when I'll be able to update again. That being said, your support and encouragement at this time would really mean a lot to me (it always does, but…) if you have a second to leave a review. Thanks a bunch, guys, and I hope to be able to get another chapter out soon! Until then!


	7. Clearing the Air

Mikau: Hi all! So good to see you again! I can't believe I got this chapter done on time. (Unfortunately, it was all I could do to get HP out, so there's no CTM or Roses still. Sorry.) It was a real struggle at parts, but I'm fairly pleased with this chapter. It really is about "clearing the air". I think it accomplished what was needed at this point in the fic so that everyone can move forward with their relationships, so I'm satisfied with it. Well, you'll see. Thanks so much to everyone for their support! It's difficult to keep trudging forward when you have writer's block, but your encouragement meant a lot to me, guys. Thanks so much to: Bunnyz-chan, MeitanteiRose, Kathrine Apollo Karma, patternleap, R27-Shipper-4Ever, mochiusagi, and Guest!

Disclaimer: If I owned it, I'd destroy that one outfit Ran has: the light pink sweater with all of the bows down the front. I face-palm every time I see it. That girl needs to fire her stylist.

…

Chapter Seven: Clearing the Air

Shinichi smelled coffee. His eyes flickered open to find Kaito sitting on the bed to his left…with a mug of coffee and a plate of fruit, toast, and eggs.

"Hahaha." Kaito grinned wide like a mischievous imp. "I thought that would wake you up. Ha! Better than smelling salts."

"Good morning, Coffee, Kaito," Shinichi hummed tunelessly.

Kaito held the mug out of Shinichi's reach. "I come after the _coffee_?"

"Just kidding, my beautiful barista angel," Shinichi laughed weakly, reaching out for the nectar of the gods contained in that mug that was just a few inches too far away.

"Somehow I don't believe you," Kaito snorted, leaning back and putting more distance between Shinichi and the sacred liquid.

"Come on. Please? Darling?" Shinichi resorted to begging as he crawled forward, almost climbing Kaito to get the coffee. "Precious? Beloved?"

At this point, Kaito was doing a bit of a backbend on the mattress to keep Shinichi away from the java.

Shinichi stuck out a lip and pouted. Two years as Conan had served him well as far as learning to pout went.

Kaito, the master of pouting and puppy-dog eyes, gave Shinichi a look that plainly begged the question, "Seriously?" The master was unimpressed.

Desperate for his early-morning fix, Shinichi decided to stoop to seduction. He leaned in and nipped his boyfriend's earlobe. "Please, Kaito?"

Kaito nipped back and surrendered the mug. "But only because you asked nicely," the magician huffed.

"Thanks. And thanks for breakfast. You're an awesome boyfriend."

Kaito shrugged, secretly pleased. "You're welcome. It's the least I could do to say thank you for letting me steal all of your body heat last night."

"No problem." Even though it had caused Shinichi hours of torture. Come to think of it, when Kaito used to sleep over before Shinichi had known about Kaito's little crush, did Kaito suffer the way Shinichi had the previous night as well?

Shinichi wasn't afforded the opportunity to consider it much before Kaito handed over the rest of the breakfast tray. "Kaito, did you eat breakfast already?"

Kaito shook his head. "I'm catching brunch with Sonoko-chan at ten."

Shinichi glanced at the clock. Nine thirty. He nodded, reaching up and scratching behind Kaito's ear. "How are you doing today? Are you okay?"

Kaito smiled, making the room light up. "Yeah. Thanks, Shin-chan. I'm feeling a little better today…. A lot of stuff got straightened out yesterday, so…thanks." He leaned in and gave Shinichi's cheek a light kiss.

"Good. You're welcome, and…thanks for working with me…for believing in me." Shinichi lightly patted Kaito on the cheek.

"Not a problem," Kaito chuckled, genuinely seeming to be in a better mood.

"Hey, I have to go down to the station today, so…do you think you're going to be alright?" Shinichi bit his lip.

Kaito shrugged. "Yeah. No problem. I wouldn't want to keep you away from your work two days in a row. Plus, I'm going out with Sonoko-chan, so that'll keep me occupied for a while."

Shinichi firmly grasped Kaito's wrist. "Screw my work. _You're_ more important; now, are you going to be okay, or not? I need to know you're alright before I let you out of my sight, because if I come home to your dead body or a note telling me to go back to Ran because I'd be better off without you, so help me, Kaito, I will find some way to bring you back to life or track you down like a fugitive so that I can kick you in the shins. So?"

Kaito broke down in giggles, wrapping his arms around Shinichi's shoulders and giving his boyfriend a tight squeeze. "I kind of like it when you get all psycho overprotective on me. Yes, I'm really truly gonna be okay today, Shin-chan, so go do your detective thing with your cop friends. I'm gonna have hot chocolate and go clothes shopping with mine."

Shinichi gave a sigh of relief, closing his eyes as he let his head rest against Kaito's. "Okay. Thanks, Kaito."

"Mmhm," Kaito chuckled, nuzzling Shinichi's hair.

"And thanks for breakfast. You're a rockstar."

"My pleasure," Kaito assured with a wink.

…

"You should have told me," were the first words out of Sonoko's mouth before she nearly tackled Kaito, wrapping her arms around him in a spine-snapping hug.

"I wanted to; I really did," Kaito whispered, giving her a little squeeze back. "I was about to when we met up Friday night, but…when I told you I'd moved back in with Shin-chan and then turned to him so that we could tell you the news together…he acted like he had no idea what was going on, so I thought that I was a secret or something."

"Oh, Kai-chan," she cooed, stroking his hair. "I'm gonna deck him."

"Uh…actually it was all a misunderstanding," Kaito laughed weakly as they pulled back and took a seat at their booth. "He hadn't been paying attention, so he really didn't know what was going on."

"I'm still gonna deck him," the heiress snorted. "How dare he mess with my two best friends!"

"…You think of me as your best friend?" Kaito's mouth fell open. "Like…in the same category as Mouri-chan?"

"Yeah. Of course I do." Sonoko looked a little confused. "Why? Don't you think of me as your bestie, Kid-sama?"

"Of course_ I_ do, but…" Kaito blinked back tears. "I didn't expect you to feel the same way about me. I mean, I'm the life-ruining slut that stole your best friend's boyfriend. Talk about fraternizing with the enemy."

Sonoko rolled her eyes and slapped Kaito on the wrist. "Kaito, you are none of those things, you hear me?"

"Heh. Really?" Kaito gave a wry grin. "Because I would argue—"

"—And you'd lose," Sonoko cut him off with authority, bringing her palm down on the table with a bang like a gavel. "So stop thinking like that."

"But I really did steal Shinichi from Mouri-chan, and—you've seen me dance!—I really am a slut."

"No," Sonoko sighed. "Kai-chan, you've got it all wrong. None of this is your fault. It's in the rules."

"What rules?" Kaito knew she was going to explain anyway, but he thought that he might as well ask, just to get a word in edgewise.

"THE rules. It comes with being a girl. It's understandable that you don't know since you're only an honorary member, but we girls have to stick together. When we turn on each other, it gets ugly fast—worse than any physical fight boys could get into—so the rules were established to keep order and peace."

"So what's the rule about stealing someone else's boyfriend?" Kaito sighed.

"Well, since you and Ran are friends and not rivals or enemies or frenemies, neither of you is at fault. We always blame the guy when there's guy trouble between friends," Sonoko patiently explained.

"So…it's Shinichi's fault?" This was oddly enough making sense.

"Exactly!" Sonoko giggled, clapping her hands.

"What do we do about it?" Kaito held his breath.

"Getting in the way of a girl's friendship is a serious offense. Naturally, we make him pay." Sonoko sounded as if she was going to derive sadistic pleasure from the experience.

Kaito grimaced. "Could we…maybe not make him pay to the point where I don't have a boyfriend anymore? I kind of love him and would still like to be able to use him after you're through."

Sonoko brought out the pouty duck lips. "That's no fun. Well, I'm at least going to curse at him and hit him with my purse," she compromised. "He did mess with both of my besties, after all."

"Thanks, Sono-chan." Kaito grinned, resting his hand on top of the one Sonoko still had on the table. "You're awesome."

"I know, Darling," she giggled with a wink. "So…spill the juicy details already! Ran said that Shinichi slept with you. How did our little Shin-chan's first time go? And I bet you just died of happiness after pining after him for so long! Spill! Spill!"

Kaito groaned. "I don't want to talk about it."

"That bad?" Sonoko replied straight-faced. "Hn. Maybe Ran dodged a bullet on that one. I've been telling her for years that her detective freak was a loser…. Sorry, Kai-chan."

"It's not that. It's just…" Kaito bit his lip. He had to get it off of his chest. He had to tell _someone_. "Sonoko-chan, what I'm about to tell you, you have to swear that you won't tell anyone else. Not a soul. Not even Mouri-chan…maybe especially not Mouri-chan. Swear to me on our friendship."

"That serious, huh? Okay. I swear, Kai-chan. What's the matter?" Sonoko gently stroked the back of Kaito's hand.

Kaito took a nervous look around before leaning in and whispering. "Look, Shinichi only thinks we slept together because we woke up in his bed all disheveled and me with hickeys all over. He was blind drunk, and there may have been some making out and fondling, but he didn't sleep with me. It's all a misunderstanding, but, Sono-chan, I swear I never meant to lie, but before I could explain, he asked me out and started promising me that he was going to take care of me and never make me cry again and that someday he was gonna love me too, and I didn't see the harm in it since Shin-chan and Mouri-chan had just broken up, we thought, and…I'd been living with him for three weeks before she came back and claimed it wasn't over yet.

"God, I feel so horrible about it. I don't know what to think. Part of me says that he's only staying with me because he thinks we slept together, and, if that's true, I just broke up the poster couple for true love! But…there's another part of me that truly believes that Shinichi cares about me…that he may even like me. I don't know. I see it in his eyes sometimes. And the things he says…he's got me so confused. I mean…he tells me I'm precious, I'm pretty, I matter, he cares…. And the way he reacts to me…the little subconscious and physiological things…he _does_ react, and those reactions wouldn't be there unless he really did like me on some level. Oh, Sonoko-chan, I don't know what to do. I am _so_ messed up right now." With a deep sigh, Kaito let his head rest on the table, buried in his arm.

"Shh. You're okay, Kai-chan," Sonoko cooed as she continued to stroke the back of his hand in comfort. "Again. You haven't done anything wrong. This is all Shinichi's fault."

Kaito looked up incredulously. "Do you seriously think that?"

"Yes," she insisted, and the look in her eyes told him that she whole-heartedly believed it. "Kai-chan, you are stupid in love with this guy. No one could blame you for what you did—not even Ran or Shinichi."

"Are you sure? Because I'm scared, Sonoko-chan." Kaito gripped her hand. "I'm so scared that he's gonna find out and get mad and leave me, and I…I can't take anymore. I can't do this again. If he leaves me, it's going to burn a hole like battery acid in my chest where the shards of my already shattered heart are now."

"It's okay, Kai-chan." She smiled softly. "If you're so scared, we just won't tell anyone. You and I are the only ones that know, right?"

Kaito nodded. "I feel bad about lying. That's what ruined my entire relationship with Aoko."

Sonoko shook her head. "Honey, there are some things that people are better off not knowing. I honestly think things might be better this way anyway. Ran was miserable with Shinichi. You didn't break up a perfect couple—and it's not your fault that they broke up, by the way. Ran and Shinichi fought and annoyed one another and made each other's lives hell. They may have had their cute, sweet moments, but those were few and far between. They never could be honest with each other about their feelings. They had sucky communication and _that_ is the reason why they broke up.

"No matter how smitten they might have been, no matter how much they thought of each other when separated…they've never been a good couple. Ran clung to Shinichi like a crutch, and Shinichi always felt like a bad boyfriend because he never knew what to do to make her happy. He never knew what she wanted from him, and never have I seen such a strong girl reduced to a pile of blubbering mush over a boy. They were bad for each other…unhealthy.

"Trust me. I've been along on this wild ride for years now. It's a _good_ thing that it's over…and…I really do think that there might be something between you and Shinichi. I saw you two dancing Friday night. He was into you."

"R-Really?" Kaito's mouth dropped open. "Are you serious, Sono-chan?!"

"Yeah. Definitely," she giggled. "Those two were never gonna make it…and he was all over you on the dance floor. What's more…you should have seen the way he was looking at you before when the two of us were drinking and you were out dancing. The spark is definitely there, Kai-chan. Just give it time to smolder, Honey!"

"Thanks, Sonoko-chan," Kaito chuckled, a bright grin blossoming on his lips.

"You betcha. So…tell me all about your boyfriend, Sweetheart! You've been dating for…what? Three weeks now? You've been holding out on me! Spill!"

Kaito had been holding it in for three weeks now, and he was more than eager to "spill". "Sono-chan, he's super sweet! He's trying so hard to be a good boyfriend, and he's super considerate of my feelings, even though he doesn't feel as strongly for me yet. He cooks for me and leaves me sweet notes and takes care of me. I'm learning to take care of him too. I'm learning to cook."

"And how's that going?" Sonoko chuckled, giving Kaito the impression that she had very little faith in his abilities.

"Pretty okay." He smiled sheepishly. "I've had one or two close calls, but I haven't burned down the Kudo Manor yet. I actually really like playing house like this. I'm not a bad homemaker. Shin-chan says it really means a lot to him to have someone to come home to after a hard case. He told me that having me waiting there with a smile and dinner makes all the difference."

"Awww. Kai-chan, that's adorable." Sonoko couldn't help a fond eye roll. "God. You two are going to be one of those obnoxiously cute couples. I can feel it."

"I hope so." Kaito could barely contain himself as he struggled not to squirm in his seat. This was so exciting! "Geez, he's just so good to me. He tells me that I'm beautiful, that he loves my smile…that he treasures me. You have no idea how I've missed being precious to someone. I guess it doesn't help that Saguru used to fawn over me constantly, but… I was sincerely and truly loved, and I've missed that more than I can explain with words. It's like…like I've got this huge void inside of me, but…Shinichi's starting to fill it."

"God, you're adorable," Sonoko chuckled, reaching across the table to pat her friend on the cheek. "I'm happy for you, Kai-chan. True, the situation's a little messy and odd, but…God knows you deserve to be happy. I _want_ to see you happy, and if Shinichi can do that, so be it. I'm supporting you, so you just let me know if you need anything. You can always talk to me, Kaito."

"Thanks," Kaito whispered, turning to nuzzle her wrist. "You're too good to me too, Sono-chan."

"Nah. What are best friends for?" She smiled softly. "So…has he kissed you yet? Where do we stand as far as the physical relationship goes?"

"Sonoko!" Kaito groaned, blushing in embarrassment.

…

"Kaito's fine," Shinichi cut Hakuba off before he could even ask as Shinichi approached the other's desk. "He looked pretty good this morning. He seems to be doing a lot better today."

Saguru closed his mouth and chuckled softly. "I was going to ask what you were doing here. Kaito was going to be my second question."

"I don't believe you." Shinichi rolled his eyes, leaning up against the cop's desk. "Kaito never comes second with you."

"I am a tad predictable, aren't I?" Hakuba grimaced. "So I don't need to be worrying about him…any more than I already do, anyway?"

"No. He's going out for brunch with Sonoko. I have a feeling they'll have a great time chattering like chimps and shopping like it's their job." Shinichi rolled his eyes. So long as Kaito was happy.

Saguru nodded.

"You look tired," Shinichi noted. "Everything alright?"

With a single-shoulder shrug, Hakuba turned the page of the file he'd been reviewing. "I didn't get much sleep last night…a lot on my mind."

"When did you find out about the baby?" Shinichi took the risk of being rude and nosey.

"Yesterday morning before I left for work." Saguru shrugged again.

"So…yesterday was kind of stressful for you, huh?" Shinichi wagered.

"Yeah," Hakuba whispered. "It was especially hard because there was absolutely nothing I could do. Everything was out of my control, so…I spent the majority of the day feeling helpless. I don't like it when there's nothing I can do to control the situation."

Shinichi bit his lip. "Hakuba…maybe…maybe this baby is a good thing. I know you're not really excited about it now, but…"

"…I have no business being a father. I am cold, unfeeling, and, frankly, unqualified for the job. I know nothing of caring for another life, and I know less about what role a parent is supposed to play in a child's life. I am unfit for the position, and I'd like nothing more than to turn the job down, but it doesn't seem like I have a choice in the matter."

"You took care of Kaito," Shinichi softly reminded. "I'm thinking that taking care of a baby is a little like that. And, Hakuba, you may not have had a close relationship to your biological parents, but you had Baaya. You know what she did for you, how she cared for you. And I've seen the passionate way that you love Kaito. You're not cold or unfeeling in the least. You're just scared right now, and it's okay to be scared."

Saguru shut his eyes and blew out a long sigh. "…You're right…naturally…. Thank you for that, Kudo."

"No problem," Shinichi assured. "We can talk about it more later, if you want. I mean…if you ever want to talk. I'm here."

"…Maybe. Thank you." Hakuba looked up at Shinichi and raised an eyebrow. "I almost forgot. What brings you down here to the station?"

"Oh. Uh…just…you know. Case stuff." Shinichi smiled.

Saguru frowned, not believing that fib for a second; however, he shrugged it off, pretending that he accepted Shinichi's answer. "You know, they've been trying to find a partner for me."

"Yeah?" Somehow the idea bothered Shinichi.

"Yes. So far I've annoyed the spit out of the five people they've attempted to pair me with," Hakuba informed him with a smirk.

Shinichi broke out in laughter. "Yeah. That sounds about right."

"I assure you, I was just being myself," Saguru reported in his own defense. "I wasn't even trying to be obnoxious."

"Hakuba, you just being yourself is enough to irritate the Buddha himself," Shinichi snickered.

With a simper and a shrug, Hakuba continued, "And that is why there's been talk of offering you an official position on the force. You're very good…and the only person that seems capable of working with me."

Shinichi shook his head. "I prefer the freedom of PI work. I don't mind consulting for the police, but I wouldn't want to work for them fulltime. I like working from home, and I have to be available for Kaito."

Saguru nodded. "Understood. That's why I convinced them to pay you to do what you already do for free. The position they'd be offering you would be Official Consultant. No desk. No regular hours. There would be the occasional obligation to work beside me—as you already do—on certain cases when it's deemed too dangerous for me to do my job without backup, but…consider it, please. I'd much rather team up with you a little more often than we already do than have to work side by side, day in and day out with some bumbling idiot."

"So they'd pay me for consulting, and the only thing I'd have to do differently would be going out investigating with you more often?" Shinichi raised an eyebrow. "Could I still continue my own PI services on the side?"

"I doubt they'd have a problem with that. You doing what you do makes their lives a whole lot easier." Saguru shrugged.

"I'll talk to Megure about it. Thanks for letting me know." This sounded pretty good, actually.

"Not a problem. It would be to my benefit anyway, should you accept the position." Saguru smirked. "Forgive me…what case did you say you were here concerning?"

Shinichi smirked back. "I didn't." He turned to leave without saying what he had come to say, but then he paused, thinking better of it. He didn't want to pick a fight, but… He bit his lip. "Hey, Hakuba?" He glanced back at the cop. "Hypothetical question?"

The blonde rolled his eyes and gave a fond shake of his head. "We both know that people generally don't ask purely hypothetical questions. Whatever you ask me, I will assume that there is an element of truth in it. However, you're free to ask me anything you wish."

Shinichi grimaced. "_Hypothetically_ speaking…would you…would you hate me if…" Shinichi squirmed, not wanting to ruin his friendship with Hakuba but hating all the fibs, omissions, and lies. "…if I slept with…your wife?"

Saguru blinked slowly, his eyebrows knitting together as he tilted his head to the side. "What? No. Why? Are you _planning_ on sleeping with my wife?"

Shinichi smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. "No…. Just…hypothetically speaking. You know. Wait. So you seriously wouldn't hate me if I slept with Aoko-san? Why not?"

Saguru shrugged, looking back down at the case file. "That's not to say that I wouldn't be upset with you. I would, but I wouldn't hate you, Kudo. I'm very fond of my wife, but I can't say that I'm terribly possessive or jealous when it comes to her. Besides, she feels the same about me. I've told you before; Aoko and I are more of a political marriage of convenience than anything. I would find it understandable if you slept with my wife. After all, you do bear a striking resemblance to…to Kaito, so…I'd understand her sleeping with you."

Shinichi chewed on the inside of his cheek, not envying Hakuba's situation one bit. "Sorry. I shouldn't have brought it up. What…What I meant to ask you was…would you hate me if…Kaito started to develop feelings for me?"

Saguru looked up from the file, face impassive. He studied Shinichi for a moment before looking away. He closed his eyes, and when he opened them again he replied, "Yes and no. He's taken a liking to you then? Of course he has. You're taking care of him for the second time now. Kaito must see you as some kind of savior after what I did to him. It's only natural that he have feelings for you. I don't begrudge you that, Kudo. Just…be careful with him, okay? Please?" Saguru looked back at Shinichi with worry overflowing in his eyes. He begged as if he were pleading for his own life. "You have Ran-san, so…don't lead him on, and be gentle if you have to tell him no. Please. I know he's not mine anymore, but I still love him, and I still want to protect him in any way that I can, and the thought of him being hurt again is…"

Saguru bit his lip and sent Shinichi a sorrowful, entreating look.

Shinichi came back to Saguru's side and put a hand on the blonde's shoulder. "Don't worry, Hakuba. I swear to you that I'll do everything I can to keep him safe and happy."

"Just…don't hurt him," Hakuba mumbled.

Shinichi nodded and turned to leave. "See you later."

"Kudo," Hakuba called after him.

Shinichi stopped and looked back.

"Thank you for telling me. Truly. It means a great deal to me that you were honest about such a touchy subject," Saguru assured with a hint of a smile. "_You_ don't have to worry, though. Our unconventional friendship is strong enough to survive such…complications. I'll see you later."

Shinichi smiled, a little bit of the weight coming off his shoulders. "Thanks, Hakuba. I'm really glad."

…

Suzuki Sonoko was exiting the Kudo Manor when Shinichi got home several hours later after one suicide made to look like homicide and two actual murders. He considered hiding in the bushes and praying that she didn't spot him, but before he could make a decision, she looked his way and glared like a seriously ticked harpy.

Shinichi had no choice but to stand his ground and take it like a man.

"You," the heiress hissed, voice dripping malevolence.

"Hi, Sonoko." Shinichi prayed that this would be quick. "Ran called you?"

Shinichi got a purse to the face and a barrage of curses before he could react.

"What the hell?!" he shrieked, putting his hands up in a sad attempt to defend himself from the onslaught.

Finally the assault stopped. "You should think twice before you mess with my best friends again, Kudo," she fumed, feinting another blow with her purse.

He flinched.

"And if you break Kaito's heart, you're gonna pay," Sonoko warned. "I've put up with you putting Ran through hell, but I will not let you treat Kaito like that, you hear me?"

Shinichi nodded in fear. He had never seen Sonoko so incensed.

"So we have an understanding?"

Shinichi nodded again.

"Good." And then Sonoko was back to her usual bouncy, tactless self. "Kai-chan's not feeling well, so he's upstairs taking a nap. Take good care of your boyfriend."

There was an implied "or else" tacked on to that statement.

"I always do," Shinichi muttered, retreating into his house as she left.

He found Kaito in the kitchen whipping up some hot chocolate.

"Hey. I'm home. Sonoko said that you weren't feeling so hot?" Shinichi stopped in the doorway, leaning against the doorjamb.

Kaito turned with a broad grin. "Hey, welcome home. It's just a headache…. And I _always_ feel hot," Kaito returned with a wink.

Shinichi rolled his eyes, coming to Kaito's side. "Right. Sorry. Of course you do. Where's it hurt?"

Kaito pointed, and Shinichi leaned in and kissed the corresponding spot, causing Kaito to giggle. "Thanks, Shin-chan."

"Bring your hot cocoa in the living room and lie down on the couch. I'll give you a head massage," Shinichi offered.

"Best boyfriend ever!" Kaito squealed in delight, eagerly following Shinichi into the living room and setting his mug down on the coffee table.

Shinichi sat with his back up against the arm of the couch, and Kaito lay between his legs, reclining against Shinichi's chest.

"I want to talk to you about something," Shinichi whispered as he massaged.

"Un," Kaito acknowledged Shinichi's statement, closing his eyes and enjoying the sensation of Shinichi's hands in his hair.

"Does talking about Hakuba upset you?" Shinichi bit his lip and mentally crossed his fingers.

"…Little bit. It depends…. Why?"

Shinichi shrugged and kept rubbing. "You know he's a police detective now, right? Mostly Division One, but Two borrows him pretty often."

Kaito shifted slightly. (Shinichi took that to mean that he was at least a little uncomfortable.) "I kind of guessed. He was just signing on with the force when we… I kind of figured he was doing the police detective thing nowadays."

"And…you know I work mostly with Division One?" Shinichi wished he had a piece of gum to chew on or something to give his poor lip a break.

Kaito nodded.

"Okay, on a scale of one to ten with one being 'I'm pretty okay with it' and ten being 'Something like that could potentially push me over the edge', how tolerable would it be for you if I occasionally worked with Hakuba?"

"One and a half." Kaito shrugged. "It'd be silly for me to get upset. I mean…it'd be unreasonable for me to demand you not run into him when you both work in the same field. You're both amazing detectives, so…it'd be selfish of me to say that you can't team up for the betterment of humankind."

"Good. Thank you." Shinichi let up a little on the pressure with which he was biting into his lip. "And…what about if I worked with Hakuba at least once a week?"

"Three and a half," Kaito mumbled.

"How upset is this conversation making you now?" Shinichi paused his massage for a moment to give the crown of Kaito's head a kiss.

"Five."

Shinichi could really use that gum right about now. He didn't want to put Kaito through anything more considering what a mess yesterday had been, but…he didn't want to lose Kaito to his lies just like he had Ran. He thought it would be more upsetting for Kaito to find out on his own later about the relationship between Hakuba and Shinichi than for Shinichi to just be fairly honest now. "What number do you want me to drop this conversation at?"

"…Seven and a half," Kaito whispered.

"You just let me know if we get there, okay?" Shinichi gave him a light squeeze and went back to rubbing Kaito's head.

Kaito nodded.

"How about…if I accepted an official position on the force to work as his partner whenever he needs backup?" Shinichi tried not to tense as he awaited Kaito's answer.

"…Five."

"…How about…if I told you he's a good friend?" Shinichi held his breath.

"…My knee-jerk reaction is eight, but…maybe it's closer to a two or a three. On second thought, it's all a two or a three. If I'm being really honest, I don't mind you two working together and being friends. Heck, I completely understand. You two'd make great buddies once you stopped making snide comments and picking at each other. You have a lot in common, and I really do think you'd make good friends, but…the pain and the anxiety I feel is more coming from the fact that while you can be friends with him, I can't anymore. I'm jealous because he's such an interesting, good man. So…go ahead and be friends. Be partners. At least that way I know that I don't have to worry about either of you out there in the field because I know that someone I can rely on has your back."

Shinichi wrapped his arms around Kaito and gave the magician a warm hug. "Thanks for understanding. Don't worry. I'm not going to rub it in your face. I probably won't even mention it, but…Kaito, I didn't want to go around behind your back. I want to be honest with you, so I wanted to tell you what was really going on."

Kaito nodded, hugging back. "Thanks, Shin-chan. I'm glad you told me…. So…how is he?"

Shinichi started chewing on the inside of his cheek. "…How do you want him to be?"

Kaito gave a tired, mirthless laugh. "Part of me growls 'miserable'; another part of me hopes 'happy'…. Is he happy?"

Shinichi shook his head. "No, but he's not miserable all of the time either. He's okay. He'll be okay, but…he would have been happier if he'd stayed with you…and he knows it."

Kaito nodded. "How's Aoko? Do you ever see Aoko?"

Shinichi was certain that all of the color had just left his cheeks, and he was sure glad Kaito's wasn't facing him at the moment. "Uh…I don't see much of her. According to Hakuba, she's just fine." There was no way in hell that Shinichi was telling Kaito that his first love and his soul mate were having a baby. That was too much honesty too soon.

"Do you guys ever talk about me? You and…and Hakuba?" Kaito waited in apprehension.

"…Yeah," Shinichi admitted. "Yeah. We do."

"…Does he hate me?" Kaito closed his eyes and tilted his head back to listen to the sound of Shinichi's heart.

"Absolutely not," Shinichi assured, almost laughing at the absurdity of the question.

"G-Good," Kaito mumbled. "Let's…talk about something else. What did you do today?"

Shinichi grimaced, smoothing Kaito's hair. "That's not really much of a topic change, since I went down to the station today."

"Oh." Kaito hummed pensively.

"Sonoko nearly bit my head off on the way in. She's really protective of you, you know? She really cares." Shinichi smiled, pushing Kaito's bangs out of his face.

Kaito chuckled softly. "Yeah. She's the best."

"Tell me about _your_ day," Shinichi urged.

"You don't really want to talk about all the drama and new outfits that come with a day out with Sonoko-chan, do you?" Kaito rolled his eyes.

"Tell me anyway." Shinichi shrugged. "You can make the most boring stories interesting. Besides, you care about it, therefore I should care to some degree, right?"

"I'll pretend you were all romantic right now and said something like, 'I want to know everything about you!' or 'I'm interested because you care about it, and I care about you.'" Kaito rolled his eyes with a smirk.

"Sorry. I'm no smooth-talking ladies' man like you, Kaito," Shinichi chuckled. "The feeling behind it was there. Do I get points for that?"

Kaito nipped Shinichi on the jaw. "Sure. Why not? You're sexy."

Shinichi's face went fire engine red in two seconds flat.

…

The week had gotten off to a rocky start on Monday morning, but the rest of it turned out pretty well in Kaito's opinion. Shinichi had been sweet and thoughtful and attentive. He'd gone above and beyond his duties as boyfriend, and he'd made Kaito feel truly important and special.

Kaito was beginning to feel the attraction between them. A big part of it was just lust and a lot of the feelings that went along with the collapse of a long-term relationship and the rebound period that went with that, but…there was genuine affection when Shinichi looked at him and smiled and laughed. Kaito could tell that Shinichi felt at least some little spark of something when they touched.

The entire situation was getting more bearable for Kaito, and Shinichi found himself truly enjoying having someone to look after, bounce ideas off of, and spend time with. Kaito made him slow down and enjoy the little things in life.

It was refreshing for the both of them.

It was a week later, another Monday morning, when Kaito rolled out of bed at nine o'clock wondering why Shinichi hadn't gotten him up for breakfast yet.

In her trunk, Rose the elephant held a single note card: "I got called into work at FIVE in the freaking morning. Don't criminals have some sense of decency? Why can't they commit their crimes in broad daylight at a decent time? Anyway, I left your breakfast and lunch in the fridge. Make sure you eat all of your vegetables. I'll miss you. See you when I get home. Have a good day, Kaito."

Kaito could barely contain his glee.

I'll _miss_ you.

It made his heart sing. It was good to be missed.

Kaito gave Rose a little kiss on the nose before plodding down the steps and into the kitchen to secure his breakfast.

He was halfway to the fridge when the doorbell rang. He froze instinctively before he caught himself and shook off the paranoia. It was probably just a client or something…and he was still in his pajamas.

Regardless, he made his way to the door and put on a pleasant expression.

"Good morning, Kaito-kun," Mouri Ran greeted hesitantly.

Kaito nearly went into cardiac arrest.

She put up her hands in an attempt to show that she meant no harm. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to startle you! I'm just here to talk…to apologize."

"For what?" Kaito gaped. "I'm the one that stole your boyfriend of twenty years."

Ran smiled sadly and shook her head. "No, Kaito-kun. No, you didn't. There were things pulling us apart before Shinichi even met you…some things that I didn't even know about…. Shinichi explained everything to me, and I've been talking to Sonoko, so…I think I have a pretty good understanding of the situation." She looked down at her cute little half boots and fidgeted. "I can't say that I'm not mad at you on some level, but…deep down I know that this isn't your fault, and I want to apologize for the things I said to you last week…the way I acted…. I'm really sorry, Kaito-kun." She dropped into a bow from the waist.

"N-No! Not at all!" Kaito bowed even lower in return. "It was totally understandable. I mean, yeah, it hurt, but…you had every right to be totally pissed. You don't have to apologize…Ran-san."

Ran looked up. "Y-You…finally called me…"

Kaito stood up and shrugged, looking away as he rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah. Look…I'm really sorry for the role I played in you losing your boyfriend. I hope everything works out for you in the future…. I wish you happiness."

"Thank you, Kaito-kun," Ran chuckled, digging a little notebook out of her purse and holding it out to Kaito.

The magician blinked, cocking his head to the side as he tentatively took it.

"It's a peace offering," she explained, a pained look sneaking through her forced smile. "I heard from Sonoko that you were learning to cook, so…I wrote down the recipes for some of Shinichi's favorites. Take good care of him, okay? He's kind of hopeless," she chuckled. "I hope you two are happy."

"Th-Thank you," Kaito breathed in amazement.

"You're welcome." She shrugged.

Kaito frowned. "Look, it's okay to be bitter for a while, but don't let it ruin you. You have a beautiful heart, and I'd hate to play a part in spoiling it."

Ran blinked, a soft blush rising on her cheeks. She smiled, and this time it was genuine. "Thank you. I'll…I'll be okay. I'm strong."

"Yeah," Kaito laughed. "Yeah you really, truly are, Ran-san. I wish I had even an ounce of your strength."

Ran shook her head. "You have your own strength, Kaito-kun. You've been through a lot…won a lot of battles…fought a lot of demons. You shouldn't have to be strong anymore. You deserve to rest, so…let Shinichi take care of you for a while."

Kaito smiled. "Thanks. And thanks for coming over; that must have taken a lot of guts…. I appreciate it."

She shrugged. "I couldn't leave things like that, and that was an apology best made in person…. I'm leaving. You guys won't see me for a little while."

"What? Why?" This seemed sudden.

She replied with an enthusiastic grin. "I'm taking some time off to go to America to see an old high school friend. I called him up the other day, and he said he'd be thrilled to have me come and stay with him for a while, so…I'm kind of taking a leap of faith here, but…"

"I hope it goes well." Kaito smiled knowingly. "It's good to hear that you haven't given up and stopped fighting. May your faith be rewarded. Have a great trip."

"Thanks, Kaito-kun. I'll see you when I get back." With another bow she turned to leave.

"Thank _you_, Ran-san. Thanks for the recipes, and I'm really glad we could have this talk!" Kaito waved her off.

"Me too!" Ran waved goodbye with a grin.

Kaito breathed a sigh of relief as he closed the door behind him. That had gone soooo much better than he could have hoped. Apocalypse averted.

With a soft chuckle, Kaito flipped to the first recipe and headed back to the kitchen to check for ingredients.

…

Mikau: And there you have it. Not bad for being totally uninspired. I bet you never expected Ran to come back twice. She actually still has a role to play as a minor plot point in a few chapters. What I have planned for next chapter is a bunch of KaiShin scenes where we work on strengthening the relationship and passing time. In chapter nine I want to really bring Hakuba and Aoko back into play at—gasp—the baby shower. Then we'll get to see Shinichi squirm and get jealous when Hakuba is back in Kaito's life. I'd also like to remind you that I had originally planned to do four additional chapters for HP. The content that I'd planned to cover in two chapters has now spanned six. And we still have the content of two more planned chapters to go, but Kaito's not sticking with the plan. What I'm telling you is that you could still be in for a long, wild ride with this story. Not that I think you mind much. ^.~ Thanks guys! I really appreciate your enthusiasm for this fic! See you next time!


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